The Stupidest Story Ever Told (SPOILERS! MANY SPOILERS)

There isn't one single relatable character or situation in this whole bloody mess. The story is about a cliched friendship between two women Jess, who is American and poor, and Milly who is British and extremely rich. They live in London. Unbelievably, in the supposed timeline of this movie, Milly (Collette) finds out she has breast cancer. The two friends crack jokes. Jess (Barrymore) undergoes IVF and gets pregnant. Milly goes through chemo, loses all her hair, has a mastectomy, recovers from said mastectomy, and has an affair. Jess keeps the pregnancy a secret from her BF for months then discloses it to her. Jess gets mad at Milly for having an affair and they don't see each other for months.(We know this because Milly's hair grows back to a goodly length.) Milly gets brain metastases. Jess and Milly make up and continue to crack jokes and laugh about Milly's imminent demise. Jess is still pregnant. Milly goes into a hospice that looks like a five-star hotel where she appears close to death. Jess's partner takes off for the north sea to drill for oil. Jess goes into premature labor (this is the longest pregnancy on record and she STILL isn't due!) Milly drags herself from her death bed and, in a wheelchair, coaches the birth alone because there is no doctor or preemie team present. Meanwhile Milly's mother holds the phone to Jess's vulva so Dad and the rest of the oil rig crew can watch the birth via Skype. All is well, Dad comes home from his drilling. Jess stays with Milly in the ballroom-size hospice room, they crack jokes, Jess goes to sleep, and Milly dies.

The whole thing is distracting and goofy. Unfortunately, the director forgot this ridiculous story was supposed to be happening on planet Earth.