Episode 110 & 101 8-3-2016
EPISODE 110
Let's start with Si and Willie watching TV, Si watches with close captioning on and makes a huge deal out of it of course... He says he is at Willie's crib because he doesn't get the same channels as Willie.... He is watching 'Murder She Wrote' just for info...
Daughter Sadie and nephew Cole drop by to discuss High school graduation and college plans, Si keeps interrupting, Willie wants Sadie to do a tour of University of Louisiana at Monroe and senile Si invites himself along so Sadie gets the true picture... What a jerk....
Meanwhile we actually get to see and hear Phil again for more than 10 seconds, the producers must feel safe bringing the old coot out of mothballs and hopes he keeps his religious, political and southern views to himself... As Phil and Kay gush over how they look so good and love another so much, John Luke and Mary Kate appear, we were so lucky the camera crew was there to catch this scene, wow, what are the odds ???... Phil is wearing sunglasses in the house for no good reason and then forces the two kids to go squirrel hunting and enjoy it... When the kids mention gluten free, Phil and ole Kay act like it is a term from Mars and ignore them...
At the university, Si takes over as usual and embarrasses everyone but they all act like it is expected of the old goat... Sadie mentions she might like acting and senile Si drags her off to an acting class which they eventually take over and act retarded all over again... I imagine the university gave the Robertsons free rein to do whatever they wanted, just, PLEASE, spend your fortune at our school and we will continue to make our staff and students available for extra actors in your ridiculous show...
Si starts to delve into delusional activity by acting like a seahorse on stage and then, thankfully, it is all over...
Let's now all dress in camo gear and hunt squirrels, shoot 'em, clean 'em, eat 'em... absolutely thrilling television excitement... Phil says 'yuppies are learning', learning to stay away as much as possible I assume. As Krazy Kay makes the dumplings for the squirrel dish, Phil constantly interrupts with inane comments that no one listens to...
Sadie and Cole graduate and a party is held... Let's say prayers first, 'Thank you Lord for another week of our family acting stupid in front of cameras and people actually stupider than us watching and thinking this is real, Wal Mart is again blessing our lives with another weekly check for our worthless merchandise and the advertisers have yet to bail on us'
Let's eat and start the voiceover hillbilly southern gospel nonsense that we spew out of our squirrel filled holes this week...
EPISODE 101
As the Bubbas wait for the ducks to appear so they can blow their tiny little brains apart, Willie and the bros discuss the cornbread conundrum... Which ball and chain makes the best cornbread ??? Aha ! Since we do so little ourselves anyway, let's have a cornbread contest !!!
Senile Si is moving kinda slow at the shop, so the useless employees decide to prank him by telling him deer antlers are just the thing for getting back in shape... Si of course has to put in the mispronunciation, 'Mountain of Youth', and no one laughs of course...
Cut to the Duck Diner (which by the way is completely empty in the middle of the day) for the cornbread face-off... that is about it, a wasted 3 minutes of ignorance and banality...
Now we head over to Mountain Man's junk pit to look for deer antlers... Why do they need to go there, aren't all the Bubbas dyed in the wool year round all game master hunters ??? I am sure they have some antlers from previous vicious kills laying around to con old Si with... Anyway Si gets to work gathering antlers while the idiots plan the prank within earshot of the bearded old goat...
The prank is played out at the warehouse and it is not funny at all, nuff said...
Mountain Man arrives at the Robertson's estate to judge the cornbread because the others were completely incapable of such major decisions... Mountain Man appears wasted on moonshine and he is at a lost to decide which is better also... no one cares and everyone except the viewers are amused...
Let us pray 'Thank you Lord for the invaluable writers who contrive this BS each week, so we can insulate ourselves from the Yuppies, tree lovers, Hillary supporters, Trump haters and everyone who does not fit into the southern, hayseed, redneck mold we try so hard to project onto America and beyond... Amen.'
Lets eat a heap of cornbread while we listen to the contrived good ole boy gospel voiceover as the camera fades black in the swamp...
southbound