Film quality vs Ideology

This is quite a unusual film, and I feel it can't be reviewed by simply judging its technical aspects, but the ideological content as well must be taken into account.

Yes, it's beautifully made. The cinematography is wonderful, the acting (specially the young lead, who offers a multi-layered, nuanced performance)is top-notch, the script is well paced and the characterisation is interesteting.

However, from an ideological standpoint, I have quite a few problems with it. Many people have commented that is not a feminist manifesto, or donde by a militant lesbian (as if there was something inherently wrong with that), and yes, I get that. I also understand the director is just trying to portray the reality of an orthodox community from the point of view of an insider. But I can't help but think that yes, the reality it portrays is terribly sexist and unfair, and even morally questionable.

Shira, the main protagonist has the final say on what to do, but it's hard to decide freely when you have been psychologically pressured by everyone around you. According to the director, during the course of the movie she develops actual feelings for the widower, and so does he, therefore there is true love amd freedom of choice in their marriage. However, how can one be sure she's not lying to herself and creating fake feelings for him in order to please everybody else, as she's prone to do according to what we've seen? This could be very easily some sort of Stockholm syndrome scenario: you develop the feelings you need to develop in order to "survive". The writer is the one who created this story and we'll have to accept he word if she claims she was in love with him in yhe end, but personally, Shira's attitude and the apparent panic attack and scared expression she's having near the end seems to point to the contrary.

Then there's the whole Frieda subplot. I wonder what was the purpose of the inclusion of this character in the movie, but he role in this opens a can of worms. The obvious solution to the problem would be that the widower married her, who is also single, has no prospects of marrying, unlike Shira and everyone is desperate to see her "being the next one".

Yet the widower is horrified at the suggestion, never offering a valid reason why and accusing Shira of making him say "terrible things". What exactly did she do and why is she held responsible for the things *HE* says? It's never explictly said, but it obviously seems like he just wants to get the younger, prettier girl.

But if the whole point of this arranged marriage was just to "fill the void", is it that important which girl does it?

Another problem I have is the basic premise that there is a void that needs filling and everyone's desperation to marry whoever ASAP under different circumstances (in some parts of the film marrying a stranger is portrayed as perfectly ok, while in other parts, when it's convenient to futher pressure Shira into the marriage, it's questioned) as if it was life's main goal.

The fact that Shira supposedly develops feelings for the widower seems to me like a trick the filmmaker is using in order to create a happy ending and avoid unfortunate implications, as if saying "see? You can't complain; nobody is forcig nobody, they are all happy and free to choose", and I guess in real life things do not always end so well.