MovieChat Forums > 1313: Hercules Unbound! (2012) Discussion > Just appeared on Netflix today....

Just appeared on Netflix today....

posted 12 years ago by retrogames
11 replies | jump to latest

...and already one of the lowest voted movies ever!

I just had to have a look, it really is amazingly bad.
So now I know to sell Netflix a movie all I need is a few photos of Greece (complete with scaffolding in the background) and rent a villa with a swimming pool for a couple of days (at most).
Combine that with people who could not get a speaking role in a porn movie, and we have 1313: Hercules Unbound.

David DeCoteau has made many bad movies in his time, but this is the worst I've seen from him.... so far.

[–] Landrix 12 years ago

I AGREE COMPLETELY

This. Is. Beyond. BAAAAD.

I was looking for sci-fi/fantasy in their genre list (Via Apple TV) and this popped up. I hadn't heard of the title. I just hit play, and was plain shocked.

The first 8 minutes seem to be nothing but music, and still shots you could have gotten off Google Image search, and then used iMovie to creat Ken Burns pans around. Not even a credits roll (which would have been more interesting)

Then there's just a bunch of jumping around. I only watched about 8 minutes total, skipping around, trying to see if it ever goes anywhere. It's just SO BAD!

In fact, I had the exact same idea you had! Just create some godawful movie and sell it through licensing to NetFlix!

[–] eschewed 12 years ago

oh god...I can't unwatch this.

If you're going to watch this movie you should consider drinking first. Then you may be able to ignore the horrible story that is only matched by the bad acting.

Since the scaffolding was mentioned earlier I would like to add look for the reflections of the crew in the windows and the "greek" with the texas tattoo.

[–] brulein-257-374862 12 years ago

Oh the scaffolding and the reflections in the windows is not the worse! What about the modern gas barbeque near the pool??? And since when is Manneken Pis (the little peeing boy fountain) Greek? Last time I checked he was Belgian and Brussels' version of the statue of Liberty. The acting is beyond bad. This had a one million $ budget? Seriously? If that's really the case its freakin' depressing and frustrating for any remotely talented filmmaker out there.

[–] GipsyDanger84 12 years ago

My brother showed this to me on friday, and I thought that he was actually watching gay porno. Luckily this movie is freakin hysterical though. I literally almost wet my pants watching these guys "train" by swinging a sword, even though it's clear they've never held one in their lives before.

And did anyone else see the chain link fence in the background, or was I the only one who caught that lol.

I don't know where you guys live, but I would be willing to bet that we could combine what we have in our wallets and make a better movie than this.

You called me pistol...so I called you Jobin.

[–] zauriel7380 12 years ago

I ran into this by complete mistake. My bf saw the cover image on the Netflix stream and thought "ooh, those guys are HOT!" So I was bored yesterday and put it on.

I really want those 10 minutes of my life back. The close ups, the poor acting (I've seriously seen better acting in gay porn), the glass reflections, the piss-poor editing... ugh.

Anyway, to me, the most annoying things were: One, the Christmas lights on the palm trees by the pool; Two, the "Greek" with the Texas tattoo already mentioned; and, Three, the repeated shots of the flexing, training, etc.

So, since it was his pick, when the bf got home, I played the movie for him. His response? "You could totally jackoff to this!" FML.

[–] hairymusclez 9 years ago

There is a whole series of these "1313" movies. I couldn't watch the whole thing but I have never laughed so hard at a movie in my life. Camp at its absolute best.

[–] ThatKidOfYOr 12 years ago

this *beep* movie had no *beep* plot.
horrible

[–] calrich 9 years ago

Not watching this for the plot. ;)

[–] 9 years ago

[deleted]

[–] calrich 9 years ago

If you have to ask then you'll never understand.

[–] 9 years ago

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