MovieChat Forums > Before Midnight (2013) Discussion > How you can watch this movie and not fee...

How you can watch this movie and not feel horrible for Ethan Hawke?


He's a total romantic, a completely authentic guy who wears his emotion on his sleeve and was courageous enough to pursue his dreams. And this mentally unstable, insufferable shrew with the simplistic naïveté of an american liberal arts student is his lifelong reward? Ugh. I truly hope young women don't watch this movie and come away thinking this is how they are supposed to speak to their significant others.

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part of me feels sorry for him (his character of course) but then part of me feels he turned into a weak man and a wimp. Reminds me of someone I may have been attracted to when I was much younger (the "over-sensitive, artsy guy") - but as I matured and got older, I look at them as rather naïve and weak.

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I think that can happen when you're in a relationship for a long time (many years): the stronger partner will dominate, especially if they're angry, or frustrated, or stressed/exhausted/getting older and premenopausal, possibly. This is life!

Her career path is more stressful than his; rewarding, but frustrating. Also, while her kids are young, it's so hard to maintain a career.

She also resents being the sexy subject of at least one best selling novel and having strangers say "is it about you?"

One thing I didn't understand is why they lived in Paris when he has a son in the US. Most couples would live near the son, like it or not. I just read an article about Al Pacino; he hates L.A., but guess what---he's living in L.A. because his kids are there.

So I suspect Celine has some long-term guilt over watching Ethan (and maybe Henry?) suffer because they chose to live in Paris to satisfy her needs. She needed to be near her mom? Have the twins in Paris? They could have moved at some point. Further evidence of her being the dominant one in the relationship, but she'll still take it out on him because she knows it's selfish on her part.

It's extremely hard being the partner of a man with a child from a previous marriage which ended with acrimony--I speak from experience. It puts extraordinary stress on a relationship. I doubt Celine anticipated how hard it would be for her.

I'd like to think the difficulties they're facing in this movie are temporary and can be resolved; she'll go back to her music, the twins will get a bit older, and maybe Jesse will spend a bit more time in the US and see Henry more.

I found the movie fascinating but very hard to watch Celine. She's a beautiful woman but she was made to be extremely unattractive due to her anger and her awful treatment of Jesse.

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So I suspect Celine has some long-term guilt over watching Ethan (and maybe Henry?) suffer because they chose to live in Paris to satisfy her needs. She needed to be near her mom? Have the twins in Paris? They could have moved at some point. Further evidence of her being the dominant one in the relationship, but she'll still take it out on him because she knows it's selfish on her part.


This is the best reasoning I have ever heard, read or thought about Celine's behaviour in this movie.

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I don't understand why Jesse is being given such a pass on this board. He was in no way "innocent." I think Celine had good reason to be so angry with him. He wasn't pulling his weight with parenting duties, he actually started the fight in the hotel room ("why do you have to do that?") and then he had the audacity to say things like "no one else would put up with your s@%t!" He wasn't there for her and he obviously cheated on her because he couldn't answer the question about "Emily" without trying to restate the question. He was so disrespectful to her. I thought he was a total jerk!

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She started the fight by deliberately hanging up the phone when she knew he wanted to speak to his own son.

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I don't agree. It didn't appear to me she did it to start a fight and he didn't have to bring it up at that moment. If that was really bothering him he could have brought it up in a respectful way later. Plus, his comment was about her saying "good luck with your mom" at first, then he launched into her about hanging up before he got a chance to talk. I just think he was completely dismissive and belittling to her the whole time.

Don't get me wrong, I'm in no way giving Celine a pass. She was definitely passive aggressive at dinner with the friends ("he wants me to give up my dream job and move to Chicago to babysit for his ex-wife!"). I'm just scratching my head and why all of the comments at this board seem to imply that Celine was the crazy one and Jesse was just this sweet, romantic guy who did no wrong. No, he was a jerk IMO.

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The thing is, Jesse had already commented that it bothered him when she hung up in the first car ride. She did it again anyway, seemingly to provoke a fight. Apparently he already asked her not to joke about Hank's mom too, which she also ignored... to me all of it adds up that she wanted to spark a fight about moving to Chicago.

I can see why people take Jesse's side since he's on defense - he is constantly trying to calm her down the entire fight scene and even at the end when he goes after her. Celine insults his work, pretty much tears him down completely just because he wants to move closer to his son.

He says some pretty cruel stuff too about her personality and calls her crazy, but he never goes to the level she does. For instance she calls him bad in bed, and says she doesn't love him. She also constantly suggests splitting up "this is how it ends", which Jesse has to fend off.

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Well it's all part of the Celine package that he fell in love with in the first place. She was kind of unstable and such in the first movies as well. If I were him I'd probably find somebody else though and wouldn't have had the kids with her.

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Movie feels written from the male perspective. Which is fine, and possibly inevitable, but Linklater certainly seems to understand his male character better than the female character.
The supposedly intellectual conversations really buy into traditional gender definitions. The women think about other people and the men think only about themselves.
The deeper Linklater probes into relationships, the more he gets in trouble.

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https://media.giphy.com/media/SvUIXQHMXnqN2/giphy.gif

It honestly just sounds to me like you've got a massive hard-on for the Hawke; you see his character with this female character and you immediately get hostile, acting like a jealous significant other. It's too bad, you missed a great story because you were too busy hating someone that doesn't exist.

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They both have points, but really---and this is what she can't admit---somebody's son is more important than somebody's job. He built his whole life around her, sacrificing his son, so she can have her career. That's pretty damn selfish. What is so flipping important about your career?

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OMG this lady is the most annoying woman on the planet. He should be LONG GONE. She talks down to him, interrogates him, accused him, birches and whines and complain about anything and everything. She will be alone for the rest of her life. She doesn't DESERVE anyone. He's right when he says that she is crazy. Get out Ethan. And don't ever look back. Holy Christ. I wanted to kill her myself.

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I haven't seen any of these films, and I've avoided them because I had a suspicion that this it what they would be like. Is the female character really that vapid? Somehow I'm not surprised that this "love story" is the type that gets so much fanfare in our culture.

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I'd recommend watching the movie yourself. I think it's very clear from this installment that both parties have made mistakes, and both parties have made sacrifices. They fight as people do. OP's just biased as hell.

And no, the female character is not vapid lol.

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"And no, the female character is not vapid"

A middle aged woman grappling with a changing physique and considering career issues while she still has them -- absolutely. (Trust me...middle aged women have a LOT on our minds...and sometimes it makes us super cranky. lol)

But you are correct....she's not vapid: Just your garden variety middle aged woman facing some middle-aged woman shit.

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