1. When trying to defeat demonic Tasmanian Devils, look to Looney Toons (and Tremors) for inspiration.
2. Buxom female park rangers in Tasmania are issued uniform shirts too small to be buttoned up all the way.
3. NYPD officers know how to construct flame throwers from a gas can and some car parts - if they've busted a kid who did it with plans downloaded from the Internet.
4. Tasmanian park rangers who get their cheek impaled on a tree branch are rendered immobile.
5. When three Tasmanian park rangers fail to check in for three days, nothing is done about it.
6. Always have the least experienced base jumper go first. And if he won't go first, taunt him until he does.
7. Olympic fame is no guarantee of long survival in a monster movie.
Despite the fact that everyone but you and the male lead have been visciously mauled and killed through-out the movie, it's okay to walk away with a chuckle because - hey - at least you and your new man have survived!
Spoilers of course 9. When base jumping everyone should jump there is no reason for one of the pilots to stay with the helicopter and then pick up the rest, it is not like helicopters are made to take off vertically. 10. Getting impaled on a tree branch through your cheek is more likely to cause you to lose consciousness than getting impaled through the chest with a stagaltite. 11. There is no tree line on Tasmanian mountians in fact the top of a mountain that appears to be Devil's Tower from a distance looks suprisingly like a meadow. 12. New York City cops have a lot of ink on their arms. 13. When going into a cave it is fine to throw a flare first, the cave will have plenty of oxygen the flare wont use it all up. 13.b. Even though the cave is in the middle of a forest there will not be any organic material to start a fire when you throw a flare into the cave. 14. When pulling up a rope you will not be able to tell that there is no one on the end until you pull the rope all the way up. 15. Proper gear for a temperate forest Ranger vehicle includes several machetes and not an axe. 16. If you are being attacked by two Tasmanian Devils and you have slashed one and knocked down you will simply stand still and allow the second to rip half your face off. 17. If someone is trying to lure a monster at night using a light source it is still a good idea to light a lantern where you are at, the monster has read the script and knows which light to follow. 18. The only time you will help someone being attacked by a monster is if you are romanticlly involved or you both members of the final couple.
19. Getting pierced by a giant spiked rock through your torso doesn't kill you unless Tazmanian devils eat you afterwards. 20. If you tell people with authority that your friend died and you don't know what killed him, you have 2 choices. 1: Be arrested or 2: Show the body. 21. When it's dark you can hardly see a monster with a dark skin until it opens its mouth, which is visible and lighted. 22. When someone is yanked out of a car (including the door), it's best to go into the woods and yell his name. Maybe he'll come back and obviously the creature that yanked him out is deaf and won't know your position at all. 23. Seeing your colleague getting ripped to shreds disturbs you. Instead of running away knowing you might be next, you waste a couple of bullets after the Tazmanian devil has moved away with a piece of the body and then decide to run. 24. Instead of breaking the branch that pierced your cheek or trying to get it out in order to actually be able to see the Tazmanian devil and aim at it, you scream "ALEX.. ALEX.." 25. Tazmanian Devils can't climb trees but they can hold on to the interior of a spinning helicopter and drag someone with them on their way out. 26. A crashed helicopter has its windows and interior intact. 27. When someone communicates with you through a walkietalkie wait with responding for a dramatic effect. 28. Use an extinguisher on a seemingly indestructable helicopter just to be sure. 29. You can walk out of a helicopter crash with just a few scratches. 30. Helicopters can bleed. 31. When you're in a forest and you're hungry, grab some moss and eat it while walking through it. 32. An explosion several feet away from a cave opening still makes a solid topside collapse and close it off completely as if the falling rocks magically went in the opening. 33. Indestructible helicopters can explode but only if the plot needs them to. 34. Instead of trying to stand up when wounded to the jaw.. A Tazmanian devil much rather tries to crawl after you. 35. Watchtowers always fall on the thing right next to them when bumped over. The wooden beams supporting its weight are just for decoration and magically disappear when the plot needs them to 36. Jumping off a clif with a Tazmanian devil right behind you results in you landing safely because the Tazmanian devil decided it just wants to die and doesn't want to shred your parachute.
37...Impaled by a STALAGMITE (not TITE)... keeps you alive for a time... 38...When you are torn in half after being on said stalagmite Tazmaninan Devils DO NOT EAT YOU...but you are found intact near the end of the movie. 39..Cave in a 100lb boulders cannot keep devils in cave that is a fireball of flames... 40....Guy runs by 3 devils eating one of their own or the token black guy who always never survives...and they do not see or here him. 41...people run with machetes but never use them for anything.
42....When you're in a watchtower that's about to fall over, the safest place to be is under the bed. 43....When base jumping, make sure you don't pull the chute until you almost hit the top of the trees. 44....When you want to distract a Tasmanian Devil, make sure you have a indestructible radio that can survive a helicopter crash and then taking said radio and throwing 40 feet thru the air. 45....When you know the Devils have bionic hearing and you're hiding in a watchtower, make sure to bang on furniture while yelling out in anguish.