MovieChat Forums > Vessel Discussion > Best review ever. LMAO.

Best review ever. LMAO.

posted 11 years ago by Beanzbaxter
5 replies | jump to latest

How does something like this get made? Did anyone read the script before deciding to commit their money, time, and/or resources? Holy moly is the writing bad on this mash-up of sci-fi standards. The concept is beyond lame. The dialogue is so bad that it's hard to not laugh out loud at it. Character development? None.

The beginning is a total rip-off of the Twilight Zone episode "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet", more specifically the 1983 film remake. That's where the similarities end. The Twilight Zone versions are original and classic. They were taught, tense, dramatic, hair-raising AND funny. This piece o' crap has none of those qualities. It is slow moving, has no tension, and is utterly predictable. "Vessel" very quickly becomes an alien "Snakes on a Plane".

The directing is sub-par, but hey....whaddya want from a Kickstarter funded short, right? I suppose Clark should be commended for the effort.

The writing, however, is so painfully bad that I can't understand why anyone would want to invest themselves or their money in making this a reality.

The short was written by the Duffer Brothers. I don't know if that's their real last name, but it IS ironically fitting. The dictionary definitions for "duffer" are:

1. a peddler of cheap flashy material (yep)

2. something counterfeit or worthless (check)

3. an incompetent, ineffectual, or clumsy person (bingo!)

[–] emibel19 11 years ago

So you had to quote the whole review? Silliest post ever.

[–] Beanzbaxter 11 years ago

Just wanted to reaffirm how lame it was.

[–] delahaye 11 years ago

yo go Binford!

[–] therefdotcom 10 years ago

i agree that the review is somewhat lame, i understand where he is coming from though, but i have almost completely different problems with this "short film". i donÄt understand how this even count as a "short film". it runs 13 minutes and has like 7 minutes credits and intro, leaving 6 minutes of "film". the concept of the captured plane is pretty cool, even though most likely stolen and could have been used for a good film. the alien part was rather dull and worn out. apart from that i like the technical part, but that's where it ends. this is a very nice tech demo, but a "film"? this has been funded by kickstarter? how? what were they marketing it as? "we are doing a 6 minute tech demo to show what we are capable off"?

"laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone." - Dae-su Oh

[–] chaosroach 9 years ago

This is the dumbest review on IMDB. Idiot has 1 review in history, obviously personal grudge-filled lameness.

Out of 97 votes it has an average 4 out of 5 stars, here are just some of the almost entirely positive genuine responses viewers gave:
https://www.primewire.ag/watch-2740819-Vessel-online-free

Posted by stormbringer 1 year, 1 month ago
+1 | +2 / -1
Awesome short! Cool premise, been done before but still chewy goodness. 8/10
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Posted by luisaaida 1 year, 7 months ago
+2 | +2 / -0
This was a short great one! Great acting and script!
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Posted by Raven1078 1 year, 9 months ago
+3 | +3 / -0
good short film wish it would've been longer tho as in actual movie length, but worth the watch.
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Posted by mamamonster 1 year, 10 months ago
+3 | +3 / -0
Great little short. I'd love to see it made into a full length...
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Posted by Deciduous 1 year, 11 months ago ( Edited 1 year, 11 months ago )
+1 | +1 / -0
This Clark Baker short has led to a feature film with Paramount. According to Variety, the studio has hired Stephen Susco (The Grudge) to write the feature film version with Baker set to direct. I think this short was very professionally done, and an interesting premise. I look forward to catching the full length feature.
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Posted by Supermar 1 year, 11 months ago
+2 | +2 / -0
Excellent movie... just way too short! A really must see 5/5
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Posted by Kioku 2 years ago
+2 | +2 / -0
lol definitely a fun short. Especially if you like creepy sci fi. Slightly cheesy but it made me smile.
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Posted by zepcub 2 years, 1 month ago
+2 | +2 / -0
cool little short!
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Posted by versebtm 2 years, 1 month ago
+2 | +3 / -1
Excellent short, much better than some full length feature films. Reminded me a little of a modern day Twilight Zone episode. The acting was good, the direction was terrific and the story line was great. The F/X really added to the plotline. I truly enjoyed it. Its short and to the point , everyone should watch it for themselves.
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Posted by Pollcat 2 years, 1 month ago
+1 | +2 / -1
i LOVE these short films, and if u r looking for a good'b then this wont disappoint !!! 5/5
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Posted by fio639 2 years, 1 month ago
+0 | +1 / -1
WOW, this was good short film I scream through out the attack, one the very reason I wont get on plane 10/10 :)It would make a great movie, see what happen if they came to earth, New York of course ha! ha! I'll write it:)
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Posted by checkmyfavslist 2 years, 1 month ago ( Edited 2 years, 1 month ago )
+0 | +1 / -1
For 12 minutes of your time this is well worth the watch, 4/5 Added to my favs and to my playlist.
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Posted by siddharthgomz 2 years, 1 month ago
+0 | +1 / -1
very good short film.9/10.
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Posted by ivychiew263 2 years, 1 month ago
+0 | +2 / -2
This movie has POTENTIAL as a good sci-fi! Too bad it is a short one. I like how the aliens invaded the humans...
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Posted by drhouse 2 years, 1 month ago
+0 | +2 / -2
This short plays then ROLL INTRO SCENE: PENTAGON INTERIOR General: Gentlemen as of 0100 we officially became under attack. May God have mercy on us all. FADE TO BLACK ENTER HERO
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Posted by delhirose 2 years, 1 month ago
+0 | +1 / -1
great little short, very well worth the watch..
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Posted by wieichbin 2 years, 1 month ago
+0 | +1 / -1
Fun short. Thank you.
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Posted by alexlana 2 years, 1 month ago
+3 | +4 / -1
"short film Vessel, which Paramount Insurge acquired last year and set up as a feature project".
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Posted by cajunconqueror6 2 years, 1 month ago
+0 | +1 / -1
What a fantastic short.....one of the best, I didn't want it to end in 13 minutes..If it would have been 2 hours I still would have watched it...Very interesting...

Comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable