100 things we learned from this crap

1. A movie goes from 0 to 2 stars just by having Olivia Hardt in a tight shirt.
2. Edward Furlong worked hard for 6 months to look like a bloated burn out, good work Edward!
3. When a person falls down, it's IMPOSSIBLE to get up right away, first you HAVE to look around to see if anyone SAW you fall down, then crawl around for a few minutes.
4. It's not only in bad horror movies from the 80's that people split up, it's still a RULE: ALWAYS SPLIT UP IF YOU CAN! (Can we both go look for dad together? NO! you stay here and I will look for him, we HAVE to split up!)
5. When Olivia takes more clothes on, you notice how bad the movie really is.
6. When you see a small spider walking towards you, always walk away backwards, don't step on it or walk around it.
7. A person can actually SEE if you go for the gas bladder, even if you are INSIDE the spider and he is OUTSIDE it, probably takes some training though.
8. If you make a crappy movie, it's best if your CGI fire looks really bad too.
9. If your boat hits the shore, always abandon ship right away, even if you are much safer on the boat and it's not sinking or anything.
10. When running over a spider with your bus, don't just go straight, go left and right until you lose control.
11. When you call your dad to tell him about the big spiders, don't interrupt him, when he's misunderstanding, that would be rude.
12. A 90 pound girl on a boat, is somehow a lot stronger than a grown man, when she wants to take over the steering.
13. You will never get the time back you spent on this crap, so after Olivia takes on more clothes, just turn it off, you've seen the best (two) part(s).