He now feels emotion and do you know what? Emotion hurts sometimes.
I agree, but also feel it's perhaps a little more complex than that. I think we all, in some ways, yearn for our youth-- for a simpler time, when things were 'innocent', before we were really hit with the harshness of the world. I can't imagine how twisted that innate sentiment must be when your youth was what his was. Also, though camp life was (I'm sure) excruciatingly difficult; it was also excruciatingly simple. Stepping out into the world from that must be like traveling a thousand years into the future. There was also no context for anything he experienced in there. He probably had no real notion of how horrific his life and experiences were-- until he escaped and everybody told him just how horrific they were. And then-- as you say-- he had to confront the emotions of what all that entailed.
But, he submitted his whole family, including himself, to torture out of jealousy. He watched his mother and brother being executed, without emotion. This is not purity of heart; it's lack of heart.
Yeah, that was odd. I found myself wanting to know more about the family set up. How much time they spent together, just how heavily surveiled they were, etc. He clearly had an 'unusual' emotional process. But he's a guy whose been indoctrinated since birth, so it's natural I suppose.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpUWrl3-mc8
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BlueCatsFan
9 years ago
But, he submitted his whole family, including himself, to torture out of jealousy. He watched his mother and brother being executed, without emotion. This is not purity of heart; it's lack of heart.
Yeah, that was odd. I found myself wanting to know more about the family set up. How much time they spent together, just how heavily surveiled they were, etc. He clearly had an 'unusual' emotional process. But he's a guy whose been indoctrinated since birth, so it's natural I suppose.
That's because you're thinking about it from your perspective rather than his. We would naturally think its crazy to report on your own family knowing they would be punished but remember that he was only a kid back then - in his own words "so naive" - and perhaps he did not fully comprehend his actions.
Now he realizes the value of family, he's clearly traumatized by what he did, but back then I doubt the bond between them reflected that. As he said, he first experienced that humans could help each other in the jail cell when the old man nursed his wounds. And being born in the camp, death surrounded him. Imagine your entire life where people around you get murdered and tortured every day. You'd become conditioned to it and I'm sure many of the prisoners learnt not to make bonds or show emotion for that reason.
Its tragic because it is these very bonds that make us human and shows how disgusting these camps are that even the bond between a child and his mother can be reduced to nothing.
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