2007, Irate Gamer, and Staying Simple

(Spoilers Included)

I've watched the Nerd since the beginning and just finished his movie. I didn't like it, and I understand there are fans that will adore it. It seems like a kids movie... but then there's blood. And swearing. So, then it's not a kids movie. What was this movie supposed to be? It doesn't really have an identity. I know James included a lot of his favorite things in the movie. There's references to movies he likes, like Back to the Future (Give me a Rock. Rolling. = Give me a milk. Chocolate.) and Indiana Jones -- and there's a whole dream sequence where zombies are shoehorned in -- but you know what would have been great? If it were much simpler. Just a simple story.

This wasn't about the Angry Video Game Nerd. This character looks like the Angry Video Game Nerd, but he's not. He's better than other nerds. He's above them. Nerds below him, buy games "that he spits on." This character doesn't want his friends to get involved with women. This character doesn't really have any character at all. In the movie's universe, the things he built up for years, like Kyle Justin behind the couch, Mike Matei, are just background props. Instead, we are given a character named Cooper. Why the nerd hangs out with this kid... never explained. It's established that Cooper is absolutely useless in the first moments he is introduced. James says something like, "I usually shoot these videos by myself." We know this. So why is Cooper here?

The plot: He has to save his fans. I don't like this. I am a fan. I don't need to be saved. This is the biggest problem with the movie. It's too self-focused. It's very self-aware and self-congratulatory. The Eee Tee 2 team wants to be involved with "The Nerd" to sell more games (The Cockburn guy reminded me of the whole Cheetahman fiasco), so the Nerd is supposedly the biggest guy on the internet to do this. The fans he wants to save are portrayed as mindless sheep, and his review -- although he doesn't want to do it for the whole movie, will somehow save them. Or something. Wait, what is he trying to save them from? I don't know.

And then there's some exposition about a monster that lives in Mt. Fuji that created God and Satan. Of course, only this random Cooper kid knows about this, but I'm glad he's here to tell us this information because the monster eventually shows up. I just thought right now... Cooper sounds like Koopa. Another reference? Who cares?

There's a female character, and as a dude, I'm not big on feminism -- but women are portrayed very poorly. They're just there to be put down, thrown up on, gawked at, and treated as nothing. There's a part of the movie where the Mandi character is in danger, and the bad guys try to lure the Nerd to them by showing her tied up. The Nerd doesn't care, and hangs up. The bad guys are disappointed the plan doesn't work. First and foremost, this scene right here displays that Mandi should have been cut from the film entirely, like Cooper. She's not needed, and the audience does not care about her at all. They especially won't care about her if the main characters don't.

The special effects were a mix of terrible, inventive, and cool. I felt a lot of the green screen was poorly done, especially towards the end with the monster running amuck. There are people fake running in front of the green screen while the monster is behind them. I have a feeling this was done for laughs, but the more it happened, the more I felt it was done in seriousness, and it was absolutely terrible. The practical effects, along with the ugly puppet, were fun -- they're memorable. They're not exactly good, but they give the production a charm. It's just too bad there's just too much overshadowing it.

Again, it should have been simpler. That starts with a simpler script. The antagonist is terrible. He poses no threat. The audience doesn't fear him. He hurts himself. He loses an arm. Then the other one. You know what I kept thinking about this villain? What if the Irate Gamer was the main villain? This is when I thought about James' beginnings, and how this whole movie could have been so much simpler.

How surprised would you be if the Irate Gamer was the main villain in this movie, and it was a twist. Like, the trailers didn't show it, nobody knew about it, nothing. I think it would have really been a fans movie. Is James big enough of a person to talk to Chris Bores and include him? I'm not sure. It didn't happen, and it wouldn't happen with such an ambitious project like this. Maybe a simpler story could have worked. Where James is just a regular, angry dude, reviewing games. He's not an almighty god of the internet, where his fans need him. He is asked to review E.T. at a gaming convention, and low and behold, someone beats him to it -- Irate Gamer, showing his E.T. review to the crowd. People boo him, and the Irate Gamer blames the Nerd for overshadowing him. The whole story could have been a dramatized movie of an internet feud of yesteryear. James could have included his friends, MIke Matei and Kyle Justin in more prominent parts -- and in the end, James and Irate Gamer shake hands, where there's enough internet for game reviewers.

This would never happen. If James Rolfe thinks of himself the way he portrays himself in the Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie, I suppose fans are supposed to be praising him for giving him their money so they can buy the movie they funded and applause a product that didn't quite live up to his past efforts.