MovieChat Forums > The Invisible War (2012) Discussion > Why didn't they say 'no' to the drinking...

Why didn't they say 'no' to the drinking/getting drunk?

posted 11 years ago by lukn4frnz
22 replies | jump to latest

I've never been a drinker, never cared for the taste, and found people who drank and got drunk to be repulsive to be around.

But so many of these women's stories mentioned that they were drinking, or around men who were drinking.

I don't care if your commanding officer orders you to drink, you can say 'no'. Afraid that'll mean you won't move up in rank or something like that? So be it.

Whether in a military profession, or non military profession, each of us has the choice to say yes or no to what our boss tells us to do. I've quit jobs where it was an unhealthy place to work. Sure, that means I won't rise to a higher position there, won't make bigger bucks, can't look forward to an awesome pension - again, so be it.

Yes, I'm clear some of the stories had nothing to do with alcohol - and my post isn't meant for those cases.

But come on! I know not to walk down a dark street in the middle of the night in a gang ridden, high crime area, with a purse with cash falling out of it. That just makes common sense. Why isn't it common sense to know you shouldn't get drunk around a bunch of gung ho guys? I picked up in high school how much of a jerk an arrogant guy can be, and steered clear of them. But then many of these women were in their late teens, and I guess they wanted so much to belong that they'd follow when they knew they shouldn't? Honestly, I don't get it.

And if these women had stayed sober, and some drunk guy came at them, didn't they learn and practice combat maneuvers? I'd think a sober woman against a drunk guy would have the woman coming out as a winner. I'm a 5'2" middle aged woman who worked for years in juvenile detention centers with very big males and was trained on how to handle them, and they weren't intoxicated.

I'm not saying they were 100% at fault for what they experienced, but they should put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror for a little while.

And that they'd join up with forces who believed controlling others with might is right, well with that mind set it makes sense what's happening. Not saying it shouldn't change, but when you hang around with 20 yr old guys who live by the 'might is right' creed, it's not surprising what's happening.

Welcoming your responses.

[–] sugar_n_spice 11 years ago

I don't care if your commanding officer orders you to drink, you can say 'no'. Afraid that'll mean you won't move up in rank or something like that? So be it.

Right there, we already have an unacceptable situation: official orders to drink, even if you don't want to. And if you don't drink, you can suffer career penalties. This was (is) a reality highlighted in the film. Already we have a problem. And now you've blaming the victim for operating within that reality.

I've quit jobs where it was an unhealthy place to work.

The military isn't exactly Dunder Mifflin. It isn't as easy as "quitting," and people work extremely hard to get into the military. And those women that were in the situation of being ordered to drink were in the Marine Barracks in D.C. - they worked for a long time to get that much respect. Granted, the women in the video likely don't look at it as a "respectful" position anymore. But Marine Barracks isn't like getting a promotion the head of the marketing department. It's more like a career lawyer & judge being appointed to the Supreme Court, in terms of the prestige it has within the Marines.

http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/5355253/Black_and_Blue

[–] melissadaly830 11 years ago

"I'm not saying they were 100% at fault for what they experienced, but they should put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror for a little while"

Do you truly believe these women don't "look in the mirror", don't question what they did wrong, don't second guess their situation, don't blame themselves. I'm a victim of sexual assault and I "look in the mirror" all the time. ALL the time. I just cannot see how you would feel differently.

[–] allthewine 11 years ago

These women did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing. I don't care if they got so drunk that they could not see. The rapist is to blame here. Not the victims ffs.

[–] melissadaly830 11 years ago

Exactly.

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] Grizzleberries 10 years ago

i'm not commenting.. odds are, i'll upset someone.

[–] alexander_szatkowski 11 years ago

Because they have the right to drink if they want. They jave the right to drink and not get raped.

The best way to prevent rape is for people to stop raping people. It is never the victims fault

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] vonhoffmangunther 11 years ago

I never did like alcohol because it disagree with me plus I have read too many stories of what happens when you become a chronic drunk. You would how about these so-called brothers in arms would go out drinking with you and then throw you out of the service when you become an alcoholic and then go looking for another drinking buddy? Believe me people would throw you away when you are no longer useful to them anymore no matter what the situation is.

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] LillyAnna80 11 years ago

Its *very* sad that you are victim blaming people who are raped. It doesn't matter if they drink. Doesn't matter if their friends drink. Doesn't matter what they were wearing. Doesn't matter if they were flirting. Doesn't matter if they' have a reputation for being easy. Doesn't matter if they were out at a bar at 2 a.m. NO ONE has the right to rape you, period. And 100 % of the blame lies on the predator.

Honestly, people like you are sick and I assure you that if you were raped, you wouldn't be spilling this vitriol against victims.

Shame on you.....and lol. Are you sure you aren't my mother? Your post sounds verbatim something stupid she would say. Maybe its the sh*tty, misogynistic time period you guys grew up in. Wake up grandma.

[–] d.lodewijks 11 years ago

Irrelevant. Why shouldn't these women drink? They do not complain they had to drink. They complain they were raped. Rape is despicable in any circumstance, no matter how much the woman drank.

I'll skip all the other stuff about social pressure, because none of it should matter at all, because of the above.

[–] lisap86 11 years ago

The one thing I really want to respond to is regrading her training in combat maneuvers. First off, I'm not even sure all service members ARE trained in hand to hand combat. Correct me if I'm wrong, because I'm not military and could be misinformed. But isn't it mostly just infantry that is trained in the hand to hand combat? Also, even if she did have the training...SO DOES HE. And yes, in some of the incidents the man was drunk - but that doesn't necessarily mean he was stumbling all over the place.

[–] mico_stella 11 years ago

Yes, to say 'no' to a drink sounds like the simple answer. However, she was drinking with her superiors. These are the people that were holding her career in their hands. She was ordered to drink...this means if she didn't she could have been charged with disobeying a lawful order. If she didn't accept the drinks that were being given to her it probably would have reflected on performance reports and resulted in administrative action. Yes, that seems absurd and like an blatant abuse of power...and it is. It's not right but it's the way the military works in this country today.

Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow to blow off Auntie Em, La Vie Boheme!

[–] spinflux 11 years ago

What a stupid post. Drinking is legal and rape is not. They can have a drink or drink to excess as much as they like, because they are American adults.

Now, if someone can't be drunk without raping people, maybe THEY are the ones who ought not drink so much, seeing as they end up acting stupid and committing felonies.

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] FlyingTampon 11 years ago

Very true spinflux! It's about time we start holding perpetrators accountable for their actions, and not victims. I'm sick of this constant victim-blaming.