For guys at least.
If a kid comes up to me be it family friend's kid or whatever I don't acknowledge them. I snarl at them so they get the message.
If the kid is trying to be friendly with you, you yell at the kid to go F off.
That way, you won't ever be accused of sexual abuse.
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you're an idiot, but that's not your fault, you grew up in an idiotic society.
It's kind of a funny society we live in. I remember when we were in our Senior year and we were tasked to act as student-teachers for the day. We were explicitly reminded not to touch the children. I don't know if this no contact thing was protecting us or them.
shareI agree. No adult should put themselves in a position of being alone with a child that is not their own and no parent should allow such a thing to happen. It occurs to me upon re-reading this that I do believe this applies only to males.
Personally, I am unaware of a case where a woman taking care of children was found guilty of molesting them. Given the world we live in, I'm sure it has happened but it's just not as notorious as the molestation of children by men.
Nah, just use cam to record what you are doing so nobody can blame you with nonsense we saw in movie. They could just install cameras in nursery and they would see nothing happened and she is lying (better said forced to lie, since klara didn't really lied and she is innocent in this, as is Lucas).
The best - Fight Club, American Beauty & Falling Down.
That's actually a good idea in putting in a camera. But would you put a camera in the washroom as well?
shareI guess not in washroom, but anyway a) they would see where are the adults all the time, so it would be very difficult to match this accusation that both subjects would be at same time in unmonitored place, b) they could just ask her where he shown his dick, but judging by professionalism of that molester conducting interview he would probably ask "did he show it to you in washroom without cameras, nod your head if you wanna finish soon and go play out with other children", because that's way his questions were made.
The best - Fight Club, American Beauty & Falling Down.
Plenty of women molest children, but they get off light or even completely. Recently a woman rapist spun herself to be the victim (of an 8 year old!) and the feminists stood up for her...
Passion is just insanity in a cashmere sweater!
Kids are awful anyway. I don't need a reason to stay away from them.
shareGrubby, smelly, needy, selfish, crafty little rodents they are.
...then whoa, differences...
2TerraFirma - you forgot to mention, that - the adults here were surely no better.
Hysterical, unprofessional, laden with false beliefs that children don't lie, unwilling to conduct thorough investigation, quick to point finger and spread the blame to everyone just like that and have no problem killing a dog and physically attacking someone they suspect is guilty of what he is accused of.
And hypocritical to boot.
2jlprizm86 - but if you really think kids are so awful, why do we go out of the way to protect them so much that we believe, like Grethe did in this film, without any real evidence that what they merely suggest, and answer with nodding to leading questions, as the absolute truth, and get totally innocent men like Lucas to become outcasts of town to be seen as monsters in need of condemnation and violent suffering?
Also, have you heard about what Dostoyevsky said about children?
What you call - "awful anyway to the point of there being no need for a reason to stay away from them.
Also, from watching this film, to the OP and other users, did it not even remotely occur to you that, at many times, ADULTS themselves are surely no better?
And yet no one here advocates staying away from THEM, now do they?
Not to mention, it were the adults THEMSELVES, if you watched the movie closely, who accused Lucas of being a child molester, not a kid.
And all the physical and emotional violence against Lucas was indeed directed by the adults.
Where's the outrage here at the behaviour and stance of THEM?
But if you yell at them like that, won't they maybe get you into trouble in a different way or worse still make up story about that kind of abuse and get you in trouble?
And also - wasn't this particular story with Lucas more an accidental exception rather than the rule?
Cause it seems the young girl accused him by accident.
Also, by that logic, should we avoid having kids as well as being around them in a sense that we have no schools so no adults can teach them, no hospitals so no doctors can treat them and just leave them off to their own devices or God forbid they accuse us of something utterly terrible and adults believe them without proof and start witch hunts?
shareMaybe we should also do ourselves and the world a favour by erasing memories of when we were kids. After all, kids really ARE awful and you just don't go NEAR them at all, right?
shareAnd plus, in this movie at least, it was actually the ADULTS that were responsible for how the situation turned out against Lucas due to lack of professionalism, poor handling and acting on emotions, particularly Grethe and Ole.
So while you can if you want talk all about how its best to stay away from kids to avoid getting into troubling situations such as Lucas did in this, the real blame lies on the adults and how badly they handled the situation.
Plus of course the brother who showed that image on his tablet, which was a catayst for this.
So I think it should be said no less that this movie exemplifies why adults should handle accusations or even POTENTIAL accusations such as this in a much more professional MANNER and avoid acting on pure emotions and personal beliefs. Conduct a thorough investigation and don't prematurely reveal to the whole town just like that who is "responsible" and "what happened", as you'll never know if a dangerous and unjust witch hunt such as this may happen to a man who was totally innocent.
You could ALSO say this movie exemplifies why we have and should CONTINUE having laws, police and courts and why "vigilante justice" is generally NOT SEEN as an acceptable method of sorting out wrongs in a society. Cause you'll never know if under poor handling of issues and misinterpretations of certain situations wrong people can end up being hurt or even killed, even if in the name of good.
In a way, it is a wake up call against coming to conclusions based on emotions as opposed to total evidence, mass hysteria and vigilante justice.
And I don't think "don't go near kids at all" was supposed to be its overall message like the OP and others here have interpreted.
After all - the man worked as a teacher in a kindergarten for crying out loud. How can he simply "stay away from kids" if it is his job to be around them and teach them, and of course, plenty of kids the world over become friends with adults and if something goes a little wrong, like what happened here, they don't ALL accuse them (even indirectly) of sexual abuse and create situations where adults believe them without proof and start witch hunts. There may always be at least some exceptions but it doesn't ALWAYS happen just like that.
And whatever happened to the old saying - If you're innocent and done nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about?
You can be cautious and stay away from kids just like that all you want. But I don't necessarily think that being driven to conclusions like the OP here did will solve such problem like that once and for all, nor was it this film's message?
What about the fact that the director, actors and crew worked with that little girl and other children in this film? Given that all children are potential false accusers of something like this, according to the OP, shouldn't they have stayed far away and avoided working with kids on this film at all? After ALL, you shouldn't go NEAR them at all, right? So they all took ENORMOUS risks, right?
Can't believe no-one posted a long, intelligent argument to this post as of yet. Anyone want to try?
shareEXACTLY!!!! That's why I don't have any of my own and won't go near them.
shareThe best defense is a good offense.
shareWhat used to be a simple case of "Never talk to strangers" (like in "Kindergarten Cop" (1990) with Arnold Schwarzenegger) back then, or even stuff like witch hunts because of people suspected of being witches many centuries ago has now officially gone into being aware of adults being with children BECAUSE they end up suspecting that these adults are child molesters. Not necessarily just strangers, not even potential child KILLERS, but such molesters full stop.
I would also like to say, without being rude or implying anything on the sort to suggest that such should be acceptable, without spelling ANYTHING out I will say this -
There is at LEAST ONE, if not more, major OMISSION from this thread and a piece of discussion thoroughly missing. Does anyone want to GUESS what it is? No?
Alright I'll spell it out.
If we live in a world today when innocent people merely SUSPECTED of being child molesters, like our character Lucas here is, suffer so much after the suspicion lands on them, how on Earth are ACTUAL child molesters able to not only do what it is they do and get away with it, but be untouched thoroughly by society and not ever live with the notion that someone might find out and make their lives hell? In THIS day and age?
I mean, if a mere suspicion of it can damage you and your reputation so badly, how come none of that in today's world deter actual or even officially potential ones from doing such abuse for real?
Considering the fact that some of them aren't even mentally ill as such, and may not be so stupid either, and some may perhaps have conscience to an extent as well, why doesn't the fear of society deter them much at all?
Also - do most people here who post about not only avoiding kids to avoid such situations (even if adults here are more to blame for their mishandling) and even go and angrily talk about how "awful children are in general" ALSO suggesting that we shouldn't generally immediately believe them when they say or say words that may be indicative of such abuse? Do you think we should all forget about child protection just like that?
Because that often feels as if, even unwittingly, this is what people over here are suggesting.
I bet most of you will not go towards a child if he has been involved in an accident or is trapped in a burning building cause you fear they may automatically accuse you of this with all the terrible trouble this entails.
And will probably be suspicious and disbelieving of cases when a child ACTUALLY informs they have been a victim of such a violent mistreatment.
If none of this is really the case, can you people just STOP advocating this "Stay away from all children as they are all so equally horrible and will accuse you of being this horrible monster and there isn't and cannot be any way to stop this" unnecessary hysteria.
No one is saying you should be or have kids if you oh so don't want to. That is your choice and you are welcome with it. Heck, in our lives, we have been taught since birth for many decades, for various reasons, not to talk to strangers including children etc, so if you choose to abide by this, you are in the right to do so, or even avoid working with children etc if you don't feel comfortable or convenient, whether OFFICIALLY because you fear THIS might happen, like with Lucas, or otherwise.
But PLEASE, for the love of HUMANITY, think about WHAT you say or HOW you say it. Advocating being rude to kids and telling them to eff off like that isn't going to solve anything.
And by the way, for your information, director of this movie Thomas Vinterberg has children HIMSELF. Woo-hoo, he took such a huge risk, after all, where's the guarantee they won't say something and have it misunderstood forcefully by society and get HIM into trouble?
My my. People over here tend to act as hysterical as the community portrayed in this movie. Prefer not to read between lines and see things black and white. Oh dear! Or are a lot of your posts and claims here exagerrated jokes?
I mean, if a mere suspicion of it can damage you and your reputation so badly, how come none of that in today's world deter actual or even officially potential ones from doing such abuse for real?
Exactly. Or bank robbers - they surely know that majority of robbers get caught and imprisoned, however there has never been a decrease or a lack of robberies. And, also, there is more chance to get away after molesting a child than robbing a bank - there are security systems and cameras in banks and (usually) not in places where molesting takes place; also, banks don't become shy as some victims of molesting can, and people in banks understand completely what is happening while young childrens sometimes don't, finally some kids are emotinally conected with molestors (being members of family, friends, otherwise friendly neighbors) so they sometimes even protect the perpetrator - I don't believe that many bank employees protect robbers because of emotional connections. These are reasons why some molestors expect that nobody would ever find out what they've done. And still, neglecting so high risk, so many people try to rob a bank...
But, on the other hand, people suspect every man talking to a kid (and God help him if he hugs the child even if trying to comfort or calm him for any reason) to be a molestor; equally, they should suspect every man entering a bank, especially if carrying any kind of bag, to be a robber... Do they? And, if not, why?
My thoughts exactly, as a male adult you have to be mindful when around kids that are not your own.
In other words stay clear.
I have a story of going away to a theme park for the weekend one summer with my nephew who was 14 or 15 and i was 37 but looked in my mid to late 20's and this stupid little b!tch wifey was asking questions of suspicion.
We were in a family bar on a night because there was nothing else to do, there was entertainment on and this family a couple of tables down had a son around the same age as my nephew so they had a game of pool while I watched the entertainment and had a pint. My nephew sat back with me for a while then back to them and so on all night.
I noticed her look at me a few times, a funny look she gave me. She was asking my nephew who I was because I was too young to be his father, he said Uncle, whether she believed or not I don't know, She also asked him if id dropped something in his drink and she said she saw it, I never touched his drink.
He told me after we left on the way back to the hotel. I was gobsmacked.
If I knew I would have confronted her head on and smacked her husband in the face for letting her talk like that.
Women are wacky