MovieChat Forums > Adoration (2013) Discussion > Pretty disgusting

Pretty disgusting

posted 10 years ago by FilmnTV
79 replies | jump to latest

I don't care who wrote the story, it's preposterous and revolting. Only in the land of film does this seem plausible but if it were true it would be depraved. Two best friends who live next door to each other and are there for the birth of each other's sons and presumably the raising of them, proceed to have wild sex with them.
Insane.
I agree with the other post that said if the gender roles had been reversed this would be a banned film but it is no less ridiculous. I'm not even talking about abuse or rape - not at all. And if these two friends had never met each others sons, then I might have suspended my disbelief (revulsion). What I find most distasteful is that we are to assume its natural that you could see a child born and watch him grow, be a second mother to him, see him go through all his adolescent phases - and then start having sex with him.
No. There's something wrong with these women that a lush string soundtrack and a downbeat ending does not really cover up or make more palatable. It's all so "romantic" on the page but it feels like no one involved really gave this any long thought.

[–] 10 years ago

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[–] FilmnTV 10 years ago

That was also a disgusting premise this time veiled as an "adult comedy". It was misguided trash and maybe its tone hid the gross for some but, though not banned, it is hardly remembered fondly. . Adore is seriously asking us to suspend disbelief and it's asking the impossible.

[–] governess98 10 years ago

There are plenty of movies where there are older men in parent like rolls who end up in sexual relations to the much younger women.

[–] lamont-hard 10 years ago

No there are not, They are indeed rare. In fact the film mentioned is the only one That at this time comes to mind.

[–] governess98 10 years ago

Films such as these and in the reverse are pretty rare if you compare them with every film ever made. That being said flipping out over this one film seems a little silly. Can you really think of only one film involving a man getting into a sexual relationship with a much younger female when he has had a parental or similar roll in her life?

[–] Mykle_Ykle 10 years ago

Rare???? You must be trolling.

[–] Takeshi-K 8 years ago

Warzone. Mon Parre. Cidar House Rules. Nabokov's Lolita. Oldboy.

The Woody allen Bio Pic being planned (just kidding).

[–] mlambert890-1 8 years ago

The general theme of "older man/younger woman" isn't the analog. Otherwise one can simply just list all of the older woman/younger man movies. There are many.

This is a *very* specific scenario. It is two moms who are lifelong friends agreeing to *swap sons* and then everyone being fine with it in the end and choosing to live their lifestyle. The implication is that *everyone else* is crazy. They even went so far as to demonize the sons wives.

There may be a movie featuring two men who are lifelong friends happily agreeing to marry each others daughters, but I find it unlikely.

In Lolita, Humbert is portrayed as a rapist and murderer. Ultimately arrested.

In Cidar House Rules, Arthur Rose is a rapist, is incestuous, and is stabbed by his daughter/victim

War zone, again, is specifically about *incest*. Dad is, again, a monster who is ultimately stabbed. The daughter who participated is shown as mentally ill.

These are *nothing* like Adore. In each case the older male is a rapist. Most involve actual incest. All end with the male portrayed as a monster and killed. These films stories pass *clear* moral judgement.

They aren't remotely counterparts to Adore, which presents all involved as essentially misunderstood star crossed lovers, really indicts *society*, and actually subtley demonizes those who would judge them? And also doesn't involve any incest or murder?

[–] scriptus 9 years ago

Blame It on Rio was shot over 30 years ago!

[–] brainbiter 7 years ago

Feminism is nothing so benign and you should stop lying [assuming you have the slightest idea what you're talking about]. Utopianism is the effort of alien ethnic groups to impose an unhinged ideology on the biological imperative. It's purpose is to undermine the family by turning women against men and and away from the maternal function critical to a fight for survival which will undoubtedly be lost unless this corruption is reversed. Like most lazy thinkers you are swayed by tales of martyred innocence and the warm feeling you get inside expressing sentiments the nice man on television would warmly applaud. That's a pity. Try reading 'Sexual Utopia in Power' by F. Roger Devlin and prepare to be challenged.

[–] mikko-sandt 10 years ago

I thought it was hot. It's not like the boys were minors.

[–] FilmnTV 10 years ago

Yes the boys were hot and the ladies beautiful but in the context of the movie they were mothers to each other's sons so in that reality it was repulsive.

[–] mikko-sandt 10 years ago

But it's not the same thing. There may be a mental association of a kind, kinda like how some young girls with "daddy issues" want older men without ever even thinking of having sex with their own fathers. The fact that the mothers were close does not make them mothers to each other's sons. For sure, either one of them would have been glad (or felt responsible) to assume that role if something had happened (when the boys were still boys) but it's still not the same thing. I found the fact that the men wasted their time on those young emptyheads way more repulsive.

[–] MWallace77 10 years ago

Yep. Blame it on Rio.

Only immature, no nothings would have a real problem with this story.

[–] oceanicitl 10 years ago

The OP better not watch The Graduate if they find the thought of young men being attracted to friend's mothers so revolting

[–] FilmnTV 10 years ago

My OP seems to be read by some out of context. It's not that these are the children of best friends. It's that they have always been in each other's lives as mother figures to each other's children. The motherly intimacy that becomes sexual is what I find off-putting. The Graduate is not a fair comparison by any means and my objection has absolutely nothing to do with older women and younger men. It's the nature of the existing relationships.
Anyway it's just one opinion.

[–] matahari20-1 8 years ago

I understand your point of view and I share it. This is about the confusing of relational boundaries which take on a heavily incestual theme and it feels so wrong and repulsive.

[–] anohso121 10 years ago

GROW UP and stop going about policing people's lives! If this were to happen in your community next door to your house, could you have called the police and have them arrested? NO! So why going about imposing your cultured BIASES on other people?
As long as both individuals are 'Adult' in the eye of the law and they are both in their right minds and NO ONE is being coerced, then it is up to them to engage in whatever affair they deem fit: it is not for you to go about calling people 'disgusting' because they are not living up to your LEARNT moral opinions! It is that same attitude why interracial relationships suffer as well as persons in same-sex relationships: get over yourself and let people be.

[–] equivoque 9 years ago

I should not have come to this thread. People make me so angry. Go to church and stop watching movies about real life. This is about humanity, not sex, but some people/nations are so obsessed with sex that they are the disgusting ones.

[–] Sugarminx 9 years ago

GROW UP and stop going about policing people's lives! If this were to happen in your community next door to your house, could you have called the police and have them arrested? NO! So why going about imposing your cultured BIASES on other people?
As long as both individuals are 'Adult' in the eye of the law and they are both in their right minds and NO ONE is being coerced, then it is up to them to engage in whatever affair they deem fit: it is not for you to go about calling people 'disgusting' because they are not living up to your LEARNT moral opinions! It is that same attitude why interracial relationships suffer as well as persons in same-sex relationships: get over yourself and let people be.

Bravo! I love this post.

Some people are just so damned uptight and judgemental. I find that disgusting.

So put some spice in my sauce, honey in my tea, an ace up my sleeve and a slinkyplanb

[–] 9 years ago

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[–] jlprizm86 9 years ago

Thank you! Something sensible to come from this discussion..

[–] peachesNcream97 8 years ago

Um, yeah you could have them arrested you moron, those boys were only 16 years old.

[–] matahari20-1 8 years ago

This strikes me as pretty foolish. OP is commenting on a FICTIONAL film and FICTIONAL characters and is every bit as entitled to his/her honest gut reaction to the film's premise as anyone else. And there *is* something repulsive about the idea of people who have played a parental-like role in one's life then to have it become sexual. If you don't feel it, maybe the problem is with you and not the ones who do feel it.

[–] anohso121 8 years ago

Why is it you people tend to think THE RIGHT TO EXPRESS ONESELF is one-sided? The same way OP finds it right to express themselves on a public forum, likewise I have the RIGHT to express my opinion; the same way you have a right to express yours. Therefore, it is foolish to defend OP by questioning my right to challenge their comment.

DO NOT come here acting as if your moral is higher than mine simply because I do not agree to condemn people (fictional or real) who end up in this situation. What is repulsive is you people thinking you are GOD TO CONDEMN others. If you find something wrong about an older woman engaging in a sexual relation with a younger ADULT who she once looked after when he was a minor, then make sure you do not engage in such a thing. I may not eat dogs, but I am not going to condemn the Chinese and call them disgusting for doing so.

Morality is not a one-way street, hence the reason I implored OP to call the police. This is clearly not a criminal offence, thus, the issue is purely a moral one, and morality is relative. So DO YOU and let others DO THEM. I can also guarantee you the problem is not with me because I am not the one suffering from a God-complex.

[–] ScripTipps 10 years ago

<< Only in the land of film does this seem plausible >>

Well, also in the land of prose. It was based on a successful novella.

<< but if it were true it would be depraved >>

It IS based on a true story. In real life, the situation lasted 10 years, not two, and the person who knew the boys didn't find it the least bit depraved.

Author interview, from HarperCollins (SPOILERS):

The [story] was told to me some years ago by a man who has been a friend of the two boys, and who envied them and wished he was in their place. The convention is that boys are the prey of lustful older women, but usually it is the youngsters who approach the older women. I was struck by how the man telling me this tale repeated, again and again, that the women had been cruel to the end of the affairs. I kept asking him, "But what did you think could happen?" They were in their early fifties by then, and they were right to end it before they got too old. But he couldn't see it. "They were all so happy," he kept saying. His view of the thing as ten years of unmitigated bliss did rather influence the writing. Though my view of the story was darker than his. Life seldom comes up with ten years of perfect bliss. This man, my informant, was very funny: he was much older, and was putting past heartaches into perspective.

http://www.harpercollins.com/author/authorExtra.aspx?authorID=11302&am p;am p;isbn13=9780060530112&displayType=bookinterview

http://www.ScripTipps.com/

[–] MyMovieTVRomance 8 years ago

I was struck by how the man telling me this tale repeated, again and again, that the women had been cruel to the end of the affairs. I kept asking him, "But what did you think could happen?" They were in their early fifties by then, and they were right to end it before they got too old. But he couldn't see it. "They were all so happy," he kept saying.

I agree with the man on this one---no way would I end such a happy affair as that, not with such great chemistry involved---just as there is probably no way I would leave that paradise and that perfect set-up, those perfect houses, just for another job with more money, cause what's the point, when the whole reason people typically have jobs is to be able to afford their own slice of paradise someday, when these folks already had it! So, I say, why spoil a good thing?!

I felt sorry for the husband, but otherwise, I love that those lusty ladies found bliss in the buff arms of such hunky young men! A dream come true! And then they went and spoiled it all with that stupid cheating by the one guy with the theater actress, and thereby forcing the other, tight couple, to split. That was the stupidest part of the film, cause as I said, why the heck spoil a good thing?!

Now, I know this was based on a true story, but one other thing I would change about it if I could is that I would make both the women divorced from the beginning. instead of one married and one widowed. It would be a little less sordid that way. But, otherwise I approve and agree with the gentleman-friend of the real-life counterparts.

Please excuse typos/funny wording; I use speech-recognition that doesn't always recognize!

[–] sfrsez 10 years ago

i dont think its revolting. its just lame. i wouldnt think grown up thinking women think like this. it s not much of a fantsay anyhow, and less of a film

[–] Writesomething 10 years ago

And yet, as the previous poster pointed out, two women in real life actually did think like this, since the movie was based on a novel by Doris Lessing, and the novel was based on a real incident, related to Lessing by a friend of the two sons.

Obviously, few women would ever accept an advance from the son of a friend and few guys would make an advance on a friend of his mother but some stories are about what some people do, not what most people do.

[–] sfrsez 10 years ago

oh gingergerbread you believe anything

[–] acwink 10 years ago

I agree with you. My best friend's kid is off limits, period.

[–] 10 years ago

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[–] Writesomething 10 years ago

Hardly any 40ish women look like Naomi Watts and Robin Wright looked in this movie, and hardly any 20ish guys looks like the two sons. But in the novel, all four of them belong to that tiny, tiny percentage of the population who are extremely good looking. Some 40ish women really do look that good (Naomi Watts, in particular, being an impressive example), there are just very few of them.

I'm not sure the movie is a fantasy so much as a cautionary tale. No one could describe the movie as having an unambiguously happy ending and in a fantasy the sons would have never married other women, had children, then lost them.

[–] thepinkrabbit 10 years ago

please please! understand movies are not solely made by and for US citizen ok? In my country guys 25 can have sex with 16yo guys, it's nothing criminal. gays can get married. so 20 something dude having sex with a 40 something women is perfectly ok. The director is related to french culture.
concerning mothers friendship etc.. well It's not that uncommon.

[–] wingedheartart 10 years ago

Well, I agree it is a difficult topic, but there are other movies out there WAY WORSE than this one. This was so well done, so beautiful and heart breaking.

Movies I wish I'd never seen that were at my limit for violence/women being nothing/too much sex etc.
Pulp Fiction...very difficult film, have no idea why so many love it, but it is their choice.
Seven. Took me forever to be able to watch Kevin Spacey in anything.

Compared to movies where women are treated as slaves or boob attractions, this one doesn't even compare.

Plus, Naomi W. and Robin W. were spectacular in this.

I would NEVER be able to do anything like what the two characters did in this movie, for many reasons, but it doesn't take away that this movie was so well done.

Oh and another movie I'm not wanting to see....Shades of Gray. Another female character wanting to be controlled by a man. Even if it is about a woman, written by a woman, sounds like it was to appeal to a stereotypical woman.

blah.

Once again though, if you don't like the topic of the movie...don't watch it. But don't trash it if you chose to watch it
and were "disgusted" by it.

[–] kymess 10 years ago

Thanks for bringing a level-headed response to this thread. These women (Watts/Wright) were exceptional with their roles. The story, while maybe too much for some to suspend their disbelief, was based on truth, and what can you do with that? Although most folks would unlikely know anyone who's lives resembled these ones, it's not out of reach for others to be able to relate. We live in a very large world, if one can see beyond mere North American points of view. It seems Doris Lessing could, and did. But your point, to not watch, or indulge in anything one finds upsetting to their sensibilities is simple common sense, something in which the world is increasingly lacking. There's no need to go on whinging about stuff you don't like or want to see. Turn it off, find something else, leave others to their enjoyment, and maybe just shut up about it!

[–] 10 years ago

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[–] governess98 10 years ago

You may not find the fare palatable, but it is authentic. Incestuous feelings are perfectly natural and happen to everyone when we are young. We normally grow out of them, but this case is unusual.

Are you referring to that supposed theory that small preschool aged children have crushes on their parents but grow out of it and rarely have any memories of those feelings at all due to the fact that they were so young at the time?

I had the worst crush on a friends daughter. I was there all the time while she grew up. I changed her poopy diaper. I carried her down off a cliff edge once while she cried and snot bubbles came out of her nose and her shorts soaked my shirt because she had peed herself. I couldn't have imagined her as a sexual being. But having not seen her in several years...she was 26, 4 months pregnant, and simply stunning. I actually caught my breath when I looked at her, I always thought that was just a expression.

I can understand that if it had been several years since you had last seen her.
This does not seem to be the case with this story. Its not like Roz had been in Ian's life for the first 13 or 14 years and then laid her eyes on him again 5 or 6 years later after he had completed puberty,changed mentally and emotionally too. In other words becoming a completely different person.

[–] 10 years ago

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[–] lethalblonde 10 years ago

I find your comments in this post and above very accurate and well considered. I also have to add that I think it's definitely true that young children display the feelings and behavior you mention. While I don't remember experiencing it myself, I remember my brother at 4 or 5 saying he want to marry my mother, and my 5-year-old son has stated that when he grows up he wants to be my husband. While that might seem bizarre and even uncomfortable to us as adults, we have to remember their understanding is simple and non-sexual--for my son, I am the woman he sees all the time, who he loves more than any other woman he has ever known. To him that very simply means he wants to live with me forever, and for him, living with me as my son is no different from living with me as my husband, because my sexual relationship is of course carried out in private. He can't see the difference in the roles. They don't know there's more than one kind of love.

Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flamethrower.