Uhhhhhh, the kid really didn't recognize his mom?
After only a year apart... He wasn't that young...
sharekids are stupid
share
MovieChat Forums > Fort Bliss (2015) Discussion > Uhhhhhh, the kid really didn't recognize...
It had been 18 months...and the kid was 5 when she returned..
That means he was about 3 when she left.
How much do you remember from 3 years old?
What would have been more helpful was if the ex husband had tried to keep her alive a little more for the kid while the ex wife was gone.. But he actually ended up doing the opposite because her departure had traumatized him.
It's not about remembering from 3 years old to adult age...it's about remembering from 3.5 years old to 5 years old... Very different..and yes, I do believe he would have remembered after only a year and a half.
shareAnd actually, I just rewatched the trailer and it had only been 15 months, so not even a year and a half...
shareChildren's memory dynamics are different when comparing the age of 3 to the age of 5.
Some describe that from infancy up until the age of 4 or so (the duration varies from child to child) long-term memories are stored as still images (not just images, but includes sound, smell, etc), like a screen shot. Between the ages of 4 to 5, long-term memory is stored in the manner that our adult memories are stored.
This doesn't mean the child didn't remember her entirely, just that she wasn't fully identifiable to him when he saw her after 15 months absence. Also, he could have had a deep resentment because she left. In fact, his sleepwalking shows that he had difficulty with her absence.
Faulty memory plus resentment could explain why he refused to acknowledge her as his mother when he first saw her. Notice that he did not continue to deny that she was his mother and ended up responding to her as you would expect a child to respond to his mother.
Consider that the brain you have at birth is not fully developed. Capability grows as neural pathways are formed. The child's brain was still in formation, so his perception would have changed a great deal between the ages of 3 and 5.
I have no criticism for the child's mother or father because it was just an unfortunate situation and nobody is perfect, but the father could have made an effort to help the child have positive feelings towards his mom. I think the father's reasoning was that he had a substitute mom for his child, provided a nice home and finally got him to stop sleepwalking, so why bring up his mom at all and rock the boat.
Likely a plot point to move the story forward. Imagine coming home after that time away and your own kid doesn't recognise you. I thought it was similar to the way young Paul dismisses the photo album gift showing the "adventures" of the rubber duck his mother had carefully assembled while in Afghanistan. Would rip your heart out as a parent.
shareAbsurd!. I was in the U.S. waiting for my son to come over here from China. I had not seen him in 14 months. I had to finally go over to China and get him. He was only 3. My wife's sister met me at the train station and I got into the car and my son was not really sure who I was for about 3 minutes, then he bean calling me Daddy and came into my arms.
In these days of Skype and MSN Messenger what mother would ignore her child? It just did not make sense. Now if she had last when he a little baby and was gone for 4 years I could see the resistance shown in this movie.
They did skype, she says as much in the movie when he doesn't recognize her
shareIt was 15 months and in my view He actually did recognized her but it was very traumatic experience of separation anxiety that had him very confused. They told of and shown his sleepwalking episodes that came on after she had left and began again upon her return. Then of course the father more or less encouraged a new motherly relationship with his fiance. Doing that didn't help his confusion it just made him easier to deal with. Believe me I know from personal experience that relationships can change a whole lot when people are apart for a few months let alone 15.
The dad could have had pictures of the mom. While in Iraq, there was daily internet and phone time. I don't know about Afghanistan-they seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. I can't imagine she couldn't have written letters often and I was baffled at why she didn't send the pictures home-until I realized she couldn't get pics developed at Walmart, for instance, during the time she was deployed. I do wonder why she had no break at some point to go home for two weeks...
shareOH MY EFFING G-D!
I can't believe how stupid some of you bozos are. I haven't even seen this movie (want to, though) and I'm not a psychiatrist, let alone a child psychiatrist, but even I know what this kid went through.
Of course the kid recognized his mom. It's called "acting out"; the kid was so angry at his parents for not being together and for his mother's abandonment of him. Additionally, he was confused at having to live with his dad and a woman who was not his mother.
He was punishing his mother for not being there for him by doing the thing that hurts the most: rejecting her as mother. Kids might not necessarily be smart, but they are quite aware of their feelings even if they can't articulate them in words. That is where psychotherapy comes in the picture.
It's not that he doesn't physically remember her. He is traumatized. It happens worse with the moms than with the dads. My daughters first experience with me being away was for 13 months. She had no problem with me at all when I came back. She wasnt super depressed when I left and she was only excited for about 3 minutes when I got back. She was more attached to her mom, so it didn't really affect her. I was also able to keep in contact every few days with her, via video at least once a week if not more. And the wife made it a constant battle to keep her remembering some how some way. My son on the other hand I was gone 8 months the first time for him and I came back via medevac. His defense was to shut down. It took a month for us to be alone together and counseling as well.
Its actually not at all uncommon. I went to a class with my son at Ft. Hood and saw cases that were much harder than us. I have also had a few female soldiers with much worse issues. As a Company Commander I had a female Company Clerk. She deployed with us having an infant at home. Tried to get her out but she was all about wanting to go. When she got back she had one messed up kid. Ruined her marriage, ruined her career eventually.
And sometimes it doesn't matter about age either. I currently have a Sgt. Major whose 15 year old kid won't talk to him since he got back. Just silent treatment. Acts like he isn't there.