Utter snoozefest, are all Irish this boring?

Sure. Like showgirls won so many academy awards as did Transformers.

Dood i no rite? Liek totaly not evry movie can be as awsum as battleshp huh bro?

I do think the Irish movie industry is overrated. It seems to be hip to pat Ireland on the head for its great "little" movies (It's just two junkies walking around Dublin! For ONE DAY!!) but I struggle to recall an Irish movie from this recent renaissance that I actually thought was great. I thought The Guard was apalling, What Richard Did was pretentious and hollow, and the likes of Adam And Paul just wafer thin and insubstantial.




No Guru, No Method, No Teacher.

@TwittingOnTender
Please do humour us and reveal what country is home to such an intellect as yourself! A renaissance 'man' if there is one indeed... Perhaps you will have the humility to recognize Citizen Kane and The Godfather as "crowdpleasers" NOT masterpieces. Twit.

Yeah. There should have been a kung fu fight scene when they killed that kid, where Richard and his friends suddenly discovers they're werewolves, and Connor discovers he's a vampire, and Lara was a banshee. And Connor like, tries to bite Richard, but Richard overpowers him and rips him apart while Lara screams something about someone dying. And then Richard corners Connor at the top of a skyscraper and his eyes glow yellow while Connor's eyes glow red and they growl something like "You will die, bitch" and "No U!" and unleash their powers and they collide midair. Connor is knocked out and Richard howls at the moon then suddenly kicks Connor off the edge of the building. Connor gains consciousness too late, and starts screaming halfway down only to be cut off as he is impaled by a wooden maypole in the middle of a wiccan ritual field.

And then the Guardians of Truth and Justice arrive, headed by a sexy and hardened but secretly vulnerable and lonely young woman in black leather with the tops of her boobs showing who goes by the name of Patricia. Patricia or "Iron Lady TrishaXXX Dragon" as her subordinates fearfully call her behind her back in hushed tones, examines the corpse of Connor and realizes that it is the work of a werewolf because of the bitemarks. She comments something along the lines of how they should all have been evicted to England centuries ago. It is revealed that Patricia is the descendant of a medieval witch-hunter Maewyn Succat, better known to us as St. Patrick. And it is her life's mission to rid Ireland of snakes and dragons and werewolves and vampires and fairies. Her eyes narrow and she takes out a huge claymore from the trunk of her customized Lamborghini. She then says something in Gaelic while subtitles in the Gothic font scroll at the bottom in red, translating it as "Kill you until you die!"

Richard, meanwhile goes home to his bachelor pad confused and angry at his werewolf-ness. One of his bestfriends, Cian, is convinced that Richard infected them when they shared a woman many years ago. Not ready for a life of bloodthirst and being a devout Catholic, he angrily denounces Richard, they have a werewolf fight which destroys a local playground, ending with Cian telling him he never wants to see him again. Thankfully, his other bestfriend, Stephen, thinks it's totally rad having superstrength, and superhairiness, and superteeth and is still friends with him.

Richard confronts his dad. And his dad admits werewolfness is genetic and that it came from him. And his mom doesn't know, so they agree to keep it a secret. His dad confesses however that they have an ancient enemy they must destroy. The clan of Patrick MacCalpernius of whom there is only one descendant - Iron Lady TrishaXXX Dragon.

Lara the Banshee is now bound to Richard as his den-mate, and she has a 10-minute sex scene with him with strategically placed fishnets leaving nothing to the imagination. Afterwards, Lara throws away her mousy top and comes out as Laratrix, wearing extremely high heels, a slinky green dress with a massive flared collar made of kitten skulls and four-leaf clovers. Also it is slit at the thighs and the stomach, and it shows her belly button and the underside of her breasts. And they set off in Richard's wolf-mobile for the Guardian of the Truth and Justice headquarters inside an ancient dormant volcano. They zoom through a freeway and attract the attention of several guardians in hoverbikes. They have a long carchase scene where there are lots of exploding cars, squished civilians, and close calls. But Richard eventually kills off the chasing guardians by tricking them into slamming into various obstacles.

Finally they reach the Guardians of Truth and Justice HQ. But just before they enter it, Richard tells Lara "It's too dangerous for women. Go back to the kitchen and wait for my signal." Lara screams "Noooo! I must protect you!" but it is too late, Richard hits the eject button, and Lara is catapulted out of the wolf-mobile into a nearby ditch as Richard zooms off, tires squealing into the yawning gates of the Guardians of Truth and Justice HQ.

Richard encounters three Guardians chatting over a girly mag, and he decapitates them all in a blink of an eye. Alarms go off and hundreds of Guardians rush out of the building. Richard engages in a massive kung fu battle with them, but eventually kills them all. Then three SuperGuardian in armor shows up and he is hit by missiles. But Richard grabs hold of the last missile and sends it back to the SuperGuardians, blowing them to bloody bits. But Richard has been injured. He has broken his collarbone and his left pinky and he is struggling for breath as blood slowly drips from his nose, along with a bit of werewolf snot.

Then suddenly a loud maniacal laughter is heard and Patricia shows up and kicks Richard into a tree, and it explodes into splinters. Richard is hurt! Richard gets up and his eyes glow yellow and he charges fiercely at Patricia. But then suddenly, a huge explosion! Patricia is completely covered with SILVER ARMOR! Patricia, unfazed, laughs again and raises her claymore, saying something in Gaelic again, but there are no subtitles this time, so we assume it's just random swear words. Patricia and Richard battle, but Richard grows weaker and weaker until he finally lies on the bloody floor. Patricia raises her claymore in triumph and brings it down to behead him. At the last minute, Patricia is suddenly shredded to bone and bloody tissue and she dies. Richard looks up and sees Lara with a smoking machine gun. Lara smiles at him coyly and says "It takes a woman to kill a woman." And they laugh together and kiss. But Richard turns away and says "I'm sorry Lara, I have an ancient mission to fulfill. I can't disappoint my brothers who need me." And he disappears into the night, leaving Lara crying in the rain, mascara running down her cheeks, not enough to ruin her sexiness, just enough to make her look Goth.

Then rock music and a closeup of the American flag flying proudly on top of the maypole where Connor is impaled and credits. After the end of credits, from the smoking ruins of the Guardians of Truth and Justice HQ a young boy picks up glittering pieces of silver with bloody human bits in it crying "Mommy". He turns to face the direction where Richard and Lara went and his eyes narrow. Fade out.

It might have something to do with the 70+ million budget.

I, too, attempted the unimaginable, and I succeeded. - Walter Bishop.

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Cuz all you're movies are utter masterpieces. Ya *beep* you, about 5 big movies a month come out for ye and we only get about 5 a year and 3 or 4 out of 5 are usually good.