MovieChat Forums > Sleepwalk with Me (2013) Discussion > Hard to sympathize with him *sp...

Hard to sympathize with him *spoilers

posted 11 years ago by usernumber655321
29 replies | jump to latest

Because he is an idiot. His girlfriend WAS the best thing he had to say for himself. That bothered me the whole time; it wasn't plausible that this super nice, hot lady would stick with him for that long (they should have at least cast someone less attractive than her). And then on top of that, HE is the one to ask for a "break", and then of course, HE just bumps into some moderately cute younger chick just oh so willing to bonk him. And then the super nice, hot lady girlfriend just takes him back like 'that'. I didn't buy it for a second. This film is the epitome of 'navel gazing'. Oh, and it wasn't very funny, either. Just enough vaguely humorous bits to get me to finish it. Dems my rambling thoughts after having just watched it.

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] usernumber655321 11 years ago

"I think you just wanted to use the phrase "navel gazing". You heard it at the mall and wanted to try it out in real life, but not right away. Maybe test it out on the internet first and if it went well then real life. "

This film doesn't have a reason to exist other than for this guy to emptily ruminate about his comfortable life, hence "navel gazing".

"I don't see how he was an idiot for not wanting to marry that girl. Sometimes couples just stay together too long when they should have broken up a long time ago."

I just didn't 'feel' for him in this regard. He illustrates the girlfriend as more of a coward than him, which may reflect his biography, but in the film it comes across as airing his dirty laundry, and sort of 'pointing fingers'.

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] usernumber655321 11 years ago

"Forgive me if you mentioned this already, but were you a fan of his before you saw this movie? Or did you stumble upon it on Netflix? Just curious.

I've seen his stand up and it was funny. This isn't good though, never the less.

"I've been a fan of his ever since his first Comedy Central Presents special. He seems like a genuinely nice funny guy and I am glad he's starting to get the recognition he deserved. But if you came across this w/o any prior knowledge of his act, I can understand why it might not appeal to you. You kind of need to be "in" on the joke to appreciate this. I'm not trying to be one of those holier than thou "you didn't like it b/c you just didn't get it!" types. He's the kind of comic that grows on you (eventually) if you don't get turned off to his style right away."

Woops, too late. You're already one of those "you didn't like it bc you just didn't get it" types. It's alright, dude. I get it. It just didn't do it for me. You could just disagree, but no, you have to be a dick about it.

I'm done with your little contentious back and forths. Sorry I can't love the film you like.

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] C.S.Wood 11 years ago

I don't see how he was an idiot for not wanting to marry that girl.

It's a really bad double standard. If a woman wants to get married and the man doesn't, he's the bad guy (because if he really loved her he'd marry her). If the man wants to get married and the woman doesn't, he's still the bad guy (because he is trying to possess/control her).

Don't try to cash in love, that check will always bounce.

[–] cobftpa 11 years ago

I thought this movie was not all that terrible in showing equal faults in relationships (thought it's been about six months since I've watched it.)

I just think this movie was so much about seeing "the grass is always greener" and all that.

To reiterate from an earlier post of mine: I once caught a bit of RadioLab where they were interviewing a well-intentioned "peace pilgrim" who tried to walk across the country as at least one had done before. After 3 days he failed and realized that - despite whatever was going on in his life - he was manufacturing the true torment himself by not taking a step back, identifying his issues, and taking action.

I think that reminds me of this movie because it took Pandamiglio/Birbiglia giving up his comforts and exposing himself to real failure to show him that the failures he felt in his comfortable home life were things he could change.

All in all, I really like this move as a nice slice of life. I oft prefer such "slow" or "plot-less" movies so long as they can hit a chord with me and this one did.

[–] popcorndreamer 11 years ago

I agree. May have been more complicated in real life but in the movie she was supportive of his dream, attractive, good person, kind and patient. Seems like he had a great team mate. And for him to cheat... anyone can find a cute person, have a spark and hook up and have a good time, its easy. Its a lot harder to find someone who is going to stand by you during the not so good times, and tolerate or find amusement in your imperfections. What a fool...

I have definitely seen relationships where the guy is lacking, wandering, self absorbed yet an attractive girl continues to support and stand by their side. So I could believe that aspect. Its funny that the movie was from his side, I kind of wanted to grab the guy and yell at him. Many people just dedicate themselves to someone else, despite a lazy and often minimal return of affection. I think happiest (mutual happiness) in relationships springs from team effort.

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] popcorndreamer 11 years ago

I wasn't talking about nice, I was talking about being behind someones dreams. She was totally, 100% invested in the relationship and was a caring partner. What does "soul mate" mean? Thats more of a romantic idea, and being a romantic my thought is, as well as being passionate and excited about someone enough to call them your soul mate, its about how you work as a team that matters in the long run. She was a good team-mate (supportive, loving, caring) I didn't say they were a good team, I thought he was an idiot. I'd like to see what he thought was "better" than that girl.

High Fidelity is another example of this type of situation except John Cusack smartens up by the end and realizes the value of his relationship. Some people are idiots, his girl was awesome to him and its his loss!

[–] popcorndreamer 11 years ago

I guess I also have known guys like this...give him a few years, he'll regret his decision.

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] doggie_rodriguez 8 years ago

I agree. May have been more complicated in real life but in the movie she was supportive of his dream, attractive, good person, kind and patient. Seems like he had a great team mate.

Maybe he wanted more than a teammate?

[–] Slogutis 11 years ago

God I'm so happy I didn't waste my time continuing on with this movie. I turned it off 30 minutes into it.

First off, his GF was way too hot and cool for him. She laughed at EVERYTHING he did and supported him 100%. Secondly, she didn't respond to situations like a secure woman would. If some dude you have been dating for eight years hinted at a break guess how most women would respond? They would either have gotten really ticked off immediately and probably left. Or, let him have his break and let him beg to come back.

Seriously, you don't just stick around with a guy who sort of wants to break up after eight years. You would move on. Ridiculous.

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] Maximus-8 11 years ago

I like how you say "that's implausible". It happened. It was his life. I get the feeling you're nowhere near being an adult.

[–] usernumber655321 11 years ago

"It happened. It was his life. I get the feeling you're nowhere near being an adult."

Most adults know the difference between documentaries and autobiographically "BASED" films.

[–] doggie_rodriguez 8 years ago

And most adults know that autobiographically based films are based on real events. The relationship did happen in real life. Mike is a decent looking, charming, funny guy. Him having an attractive g/f (even before he made it big) isn't a stretch at all.

I'm in that situation now. It's really not that hard to get an attractive g/f if you have a great sense of humor and aren't completely disgusting to look at. You make it sound like it's impossible. Maybe it is for you.

[–] usernumber655321 8 years ago

"The relationship did happen in real life"

No. You see, this is a fictional film. It features actors PORTRAYING written characters.

"Him having an attractive girl isn't a stretch"

You are fabricating an idiotic argument to then 'win'. My issue is that Birbiglia wrote a self flattering version of "real life" that makes his 'based on real life' former girlfriend look like an idiot.

"I'm in that situation now ... (I have) an attractive gf ... (and) a GREAT sense of humor"

Uhh ... congratulations... I guess. Such a humble fella you are!

[–] doggie_rodriguez 8 years ago

No. You see, this is a fictional film. It features actors PORTRAYING written characters.

It's based on his life. Not sure why you keep IGNORING that. (see I can use CAPS too)

My issue is that Birbiglia wrote a self flattering version of "real life" that makes his 'based on real life' former girlfriend look like an idiot.

You'd have to know what happened in real life to accurately determine if that were true or not. Obviously when someone writes about their own life it will be THEIR point of view. You can't write an autobiographical film about someone else. 

[–] 8 years ago

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[–] JackMillion 11 years ago

I agree on a lot of your points.
I like Mike's radio pieces on This American Life / NPR, but he does not translate well into the movies.
True, he is an idiot. I think both he and his ex-girlfriend are equally responsible at having stayed together for 8 YEARS without getting married. He's stupid for dragging her along and not having the guts to stand up for what he wants, she's stupid for sticking with him and not wanting to hurt his feelings by breaking it off earlier.
One thing I want to point out: His real-life girlfriend, I highly doubt she is nearly as attractive as that actress from the movie. So, I wouldn't say a nice, hot lady stuck with him for so long - it's just how the movie showed it.
I didn't find it to be too funny, either - but like I said, his comedy does not translate into video very well at all.
I ended up liking him much less after seeing the movie. He seems more like a mental defective rather than a good comedian.

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] JackMillion 11 years ago

Well, I don't spend a lot of time on here like I used to so I didn't go into a lot of detail, or explain it very well.
Comedy is hard to do. But Mike is an idiot when it comes to real-life relationships; how he handled his girlfriend (8 YEARS together and had no clue about getting married? When they pick the apartment he just kinda shrugs like a dope and they take it? He is chicken about talking to her openly about his problems etc?)
I actually tried to find a picture of the real-life girlfriend but I couldn't find one. But I bet she's a real dog. Feel free to prove me wrong - I'd like to see what this girl looked like. I thought it was a real cop-out they used that gorgeous Lauren Ambrose to be his girlfriend in the movie.
I loved Mike's pieces I heard on NPR and I'm almost sad I watched this movie. Now I think he's a dope. He seems like a clueless wash-out of a man instead of an intelligient comedian. Just a ho-hum dopey fellow stumbling along and got lucky with comedy and that's that.

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] JackMillion 11 years ago

It IS your job! I'll pay ya! I found five bucks on the ground today. It's yours if you can find a pic!
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Most guys are chicken. Most MEN are NOT. Welcome to 2013!!! But yes I agree both him and his girlfriend were stupid for staying together so long at the sake of not hurting each others' feelings.
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I'm going to watch Mad Men. It's freakin awesome. Good day to you sir!
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[–] Maximus-8 10 years ago

Well, thank christ you're here with your finger on the pulse on what "men" do. Given that Mad Men even came up, I'm gathering that this is your basis of what a "man" is.

[–] doggie_rodriguez 8 years ago

I actually tried to find a picture of the real-life girlfriend but I couldn't find one. But I bet she's a real dog.

I bet she's not.

Feel free to prove me wrong

You made the claim, you prove yourself correct. That's how that works. You don't just spout out something and then say "It's right until you prove me wrong". No, find out if you are right before you run your mouth.

Just a ho-hum dopey fellow stumbling along and got lucky with comedy and that's that.

You don't luck into comedy. It takes years of hard work to even get good. Then it takes years more to start making money at it.

Those thousands of laughs he's gotten over the years were not luck. The fact that you think so shows your ignorance about the industry.

[–] doggie_rodriguez 8 years ago

His girlfriend WAS the best thing he had to say for himself.

I think you may be projecting. A g/f may be hard to attain for you so when you do have one you treasure her. It's not like that for everyone. Plus there may be other factors involved that we don't even know about like Asberger's or Adult Autism. This may make someone appear to be aloof or dopey or just not as interested as they should be, but really they have an actual disorder.

it wasn't plausible that this super nice, hot lady would stick with him for that long

I think you are projecting your own situation onto "Matt's" ( aka Mike's character). A super hot nice lady might stick with "Matt" a for a while b/c he's funny.

Oh, and it wasn't very funny, either.

That's subjective. I found the film to be quite charming.