MovieChat Forums > Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor (2013) Discussion > Terrible victim-blaming message of this ...

Terrible victim-blaming message of this movie

posted 10 years ago by The_Wolf_of_Welfare
9 replies | jump to latest

AIDS is God's (completely justified) punishment for whores who stray from their marriage. Really *beep* message to send to young black women (and men). Really awful, sexist movie. If only at some point a member of the cast had called Tyler Perry on this reprehensible *beep*

I remember thinking this movie was a joke when I watched it, but I get madder the more I think about it. The point of view of this movie is essentially the same as those of fundamentalist preachers who preach that hellfire awaits divorced mothers and gays...speaking of which, has there ever been a gay character in a Tyler Perry movie, or has Tyler Perry not come to terms with his sexuality yet?

[–] BettOnThat 10 years ago

Perry's films always go to the extreme and the women are usually the hero that can do no wrong, so what makes this one any different from the rest of his "films"?

[–] conangirl 10 years ago

i watched it half way and figured it out. It's the old "church mentality" that if the lamb goes astray, they will be punished.. PUNISHED, I SAY!! (chuckling).

When i left an apostolic church at the tender age of 15 to be on my own, i was "cast out", i received letters that i would die and go to hell before the age of 16. yes, i would meet a pimp, who would give me heroin, and i would be "found in a dumpster" for straying from the lord.

oh yes one letter said that i would "still have the tourniquet when the police find you".. yep.. i would die, then burn in torment.

you can't make mistakes, or be independent, or stray from the fold - you'll be PUNISHED!! PUNISHED, I SAY!!!

well, i left church, and didn't get pregnant at the age of 12 - 14 with a bunch of babies, like the rest of the girls.

I was homeless, yes, learned many lessons on the street, earned my way through college, have 3 degrees, have a successful job, boyfriend and i am very happy.

Those people live in absolute fear. Fear of adventure, independence, but most of all, fear of making choices, right or wrong. They need someone - even if it's a make believe friend - to tell them what to do.. they have to be "lead" by someone or something.. thus, if something happens? "gawd told me to do this".. right..

Also, there's more screwing around in church than what i saw in the clubs. and yeah, those same hypocrites were in the club, drinking and dancing with the rest of us.. but on Sunday mornining, there they are masking their hangovers on the pews.

religion is a fear based concept, and keeps "followers" in line.

some days, it's not worth chewing through the restraints..

[–] AScott20 10 years ago

The message I for from this was that this girl was so sheltered and religion was forced down her throat. Harley gave her all the attention and affection she was missing from her marriage. He made sure she was completely romanced. But that meant nothing once his violent personality surfaced. She lost out on a good man who would do anything for her because she was missing out on others things she had not experienced. As the moral of the story
is why tyler perry makes them so drastic is that grass is not always greener on the other side. Adultery has it's price and the fact that she lost herself completely and had a forever life alternating affect..it just goes to show what she gave up in order to pursue Harley and his empty words. She thought she deserved better and that Harley was the guy to do that for her.
I don't think it's a particular race issue or anything..I think at the end when Judith talks to the married woman about the story it made her client think twice about having an affair. Because the decisions in life that you make always have a consequence wether it's for the good or bad. I honestly thought this was a brutally honest film. People who have affairs usually regret them because it destroys their marriage or their families. They end up not getting what they wanted from that relationship in the end. I remember the 80/20 rule his cast quoted in "why did I get married?" And I thought it was a great quote.
This is coming from a woman who's been married to the guy she met in highschool for 10 years.

[–] lokigal 10 years ago

I felt the point of the story was you have to live with the consequences of your actions. It isn't sexist that Judith and Karen got AIDS anyway because obviously Harley had it, too.

[–] jmaybay 10 years ago

Technically it's not sexist because Harley cheated and he got aids and didn't tell his lady who stayed faithful even though her cheater man was abusive and she got aids. Then comes the sheltered girl that stepped out and she got aids

Pretty much, you cheat you get aids, and if you're faithful you get aids.

I do agree though. Moral of the story is living with your consequences. Brandt's char stayed in an abusive relationship until it was too late just as most women who stay in those relationships end up dead/hospitalized/permanently injured.

Shrug. I thought it was good.

[–] FridayOnElmStreet 9 years ago

That seems to be the message.

[–] Xex-Arachnid 8 years ago

I respect your opinion but for me, I see this different. It's truly a tragedy of love and partnership. In life, and I'm sure we can agree, everything is a chance. In this story, it's more than just "if it's too good to be true" but rather, taking a chance, risking it all for something only to really lose it all in the end but thus comes wisdom. I don't really follow this guys movies but this one got to me. It's depressing.

Take out all the southern god worshipping faithfulness and what you get is a sad betrayal of the most intimate partnership people can ever come to. Hey, I've been there. When you say ,"I do" to sickness and health, for better or worse, you and your significant better be ready to take that vow to fullest. It seems gangbangers hold more loyalty to their street oaths than commoners to marriage.

[–] Born_Tomorrow 8 years ago

So I guess TP was suppose to totally avoid giving the character HIV/AIDs because everybody knows that nobody gets HIV or AIDs after cheating on their spouse, especially not someone who cheats with a rich, drug using, abusive, millionaire, ass hole, who likes to party. The nerve of TP. Everybody knows that that never happens .

I woke up this way...

[–] vesil_vesalier 8 years ago

I understand your anger, and your point... But resorting to questioning his sexuality is NOT the way to go.

You can't, on one hand, be angry at him for not showing any gay people and then question his sexuality. I understand you're angry, but stick to what you're angry about.

Because I do agree with you. It's hard to see any other point to this movie except for a punishment of cheating. It's kind of ironic, considering how many of his plays and stories treat cheating like a joke, all the while preaching God's word and whatnot.

THE HAVES AND HAVE NOTS, the play, mind you, repeatedly jokes about the butler who cheated with the rich man's wife. It's a joke. Kinda strange, considering that Adultery is actually listed in one of the commandments. Worse, when you consider this movie.

Message movies are hard to pull off. And that's all that Tyler Perry does. It's a shame, really, because I do think the man has potential.

My thoughts: https://xanderpayne.blogspot.com
My book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01G6OI7HG

You didn't come here to make the choice, you're here to understand why you made it.