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Things we learned from 'Hatfields and McCoys'

posted 12 years ago by VoodooDissolve
91 replies | jump to latest

1. Do not taunt a sharpshooter on the other side of a narrow river.

Where would rock 'n' roll be without feedback?

[–] pepenet23 11 years ago

When you get shot while returning the girl you knocked the night before. That will light up the fire of love you have for the girl.

When you fist fight a big guy and he already knocked down you and your brothers three times each. It’s a pretty damn good idea to pull out a knife and stab him in the back a few times. Even better idea, if he’s still standing shoot him in front of everybody, that’ll teach the bastard a lesson.

Oh, and saying you’re really sorry will make things better.

[–] katherine_garner 11 years ago

You'll probably die young; either from gunshot wound or consumption.

[–] pinbackwiggly 11 years ago

You can do the nasty on a creaky wood floor with a girl you just met while your young sisters sleep through the whole thing in the bed next to you, cause the 1880's were filled with so much excitement and entertainment that they would totally not pay attention.

[–] Stevicus-2 11 years ago

- Never threaten to nut a McCoy.

- State governors should never take sides in feuds.

- If your uncle is on his death bed, wait until he actually dies before cutting the boards for the coffin.

- Murder and kidnapping are legal depending on which state you're a citizen of and where you actually do it. More serious offenses, such as pig stealing, automatically require a jury trial.

[–] paul_cowsill 11 years ago

Fathers with dirty blond hair and green eyes and blonde mothers with blue eyes can have a baby with dark brown hair and eyes. No, that's genetically impossible. Hair and eye color is recessive.

I'm sorry the Coen brothers don't direct the porn I watch. They're hard to get ahold of, okay?

[–] puredingo 11 years ago

If your a sympathetic character in a gun battle NEVER gloat over a victory...

I had a fish named Sam he lived in a bowl........

[–] gruesome 11 years ago

Violence and anger is much better than love and comfort.

Dumbexes.

[–] averagejoeman2013 10 years ago

If your name isnt one of the first in the credits, you won't last long in the feud. You're about as expendable as a gerbil in a bath-house.

"Freedom and morality do not go hand in hand. In fact, they are usually devoid of one another."

[–] mcgallagher_8 10 years ago

125. Nobody calls Bad Frank "bad Frank" twice and lives

don't call me shirley

[–] kh154390 7 years ago

Listen to your elders. Whether or not it happened in real life, I don't know, but Wall Hatfield told both Anse and Randel that if they didn't settle things it would only lead to more bloodshed. If they had listened McCoy wouldn't have lost most his family and Hatfield wouldn't have lost his brothers, nephew, or son.