MovieChat Forums > Hatfields & McCoys Discussion > Things we learned from 'Hatfields and Mc...

Things we learned from 'Hatfields and McCoys'


1. Do not taunt a sharpshooter on the other side of a narrow river.




Where would rock 'n' roll be without feedback?

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3. leave somebody smarter then a rock watching the back door. So nobody escapes the cabin you have surrounded.

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4a. Do not sleep with the son of your father's bitter hated enemy on a first date.

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If you are a yankee soldier, don't come back home to a place surrounded by confederates wearing your blue uniform.

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unless you are willing to lie about where you got it (I found it, stole it, killed the Union solder and took it). Or at the very least be willing to urinate on it.

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5. Prayer is completley useless


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6. Never take advice from your cousin the lawyer; and if you come home from war to find your crazy uncle killing people left and right, best to get rid of him sooner than later.

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7. Be sure to eat the pig before the trial.

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If you're being stabbed over and over during a "fist fight" scream out so your kin can know before you die.

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Shirtless men showed off their "six packs" even in the late 1800s.

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Spillin' yer seed outside the canal doesn't prevent pregnancy

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Shirtless men showed off their "six packs" even in the late 1800s


OMG, I totally said the same thing when jonsey (sp?) walked in that scene. I was like "Yea, totally because men had svelt six packs in the 1800's" lol.

Alaric: You killed me!
Damon: you pissed me off.
The Vampire Diaries <3

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and plastic surgery for women was also apparently commonplace, or so costner's wife's face would have us believe

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Never fornicate with yer dawg.

and don't marry yer first cousin

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Be sure to eat the pig before the trial.







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Is the pig in the court room..........

No, its done been ate..........





21st century America....The New France

CLOSE the FRIGGEN BORDER ALREADY!!!

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getting hornswoggled by love can often be fatal....

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7. Be sure to eat the pig before the trial.
7 a) Cut the stolen pigs ears off
b) Dont show the stolen pig to the person you stole it from!

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6a: Especially if your cousin the lawyer is hitting on your daughter with a Hatfield basterd in her belly :p

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Spitting is an acceptable form of non-verbal expression to punctuate your spoken thoughts.

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Show you are honest by rubbing your chewing tobaccy spit into the other mans hand.

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thats what I learnt too. add to that kill the carpetbagger lawyer before he steals your timber and coal rights.

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Only if you're a Mccoy.

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A successful bounty hunter knows that getting your man takes precedence over your sister's honor.




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Kinfolk be crazy!

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Shaving will make you stand out from the crowd

"...and we'll see you tomorrow night!"

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Don't leave home without your flask of moonshine.

The results you achieve will be in direct proportion to the effort you apply.


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when you decide to burn your memories in a fireplace be sure not to douse the fire with alcohol.

"Don't ever go over my ****** head you mother ****** you" -joe pesci(casino)

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7) Using your dog as a wh0re will keep it alive for 20+ years.

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Losing an eye will make you an expert marksman.

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Losing an eye will make you an expert marksman.
BUT ONLY if u use the eye you havent lost.

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Dead dog was Mr. Howl JR. Sadly, Mr. Howl SR. was shot for sleeping with a McCoy bitch (who liked his ribbons and perfumy ways).

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Don't party with people you hate.

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7) If you considerately knock up a member of your whole family's most hated worst enemy, go screw around with her cousin of the same family
while the other one is knocked up with your kid, frequent prostitutes, and then ultimately go on to have ~4 more marriages with other women that you also never can
hold together,

100 years later people will decide that is a very romantic story.

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Don't throw dynamite under trees.

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There were metrosexual men with frosted highlights running around Appalachia in the 1800s. And they were very in touch with their emotional sides.

Appalachian metrosexuals somehow managed to keep their outfits clean, even during kidnappings and raids.

If you're hopelessly in love with the mother of your child and she's mad at you for participating in the execution of her brothers, don't make more than one attempt at talking to her, just marry her cousin. That should make things a lot better.

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• everyone in 1800's had shiny white teeth!
• plus the sixpacks that were mentioned
• plus cool, metrosexual hairstyles that were also mentioned, but these 3 look nicer together!

PS. If you look at the pictures of real Hatfields and McCoys it turns out they didn't look like Hollywood actors! Shocker!
Then again who would like to see ugly people in a movie..

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Alcohol and guns are a great combination. Because no one ever got liquored up to prove something to someone else.

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The guy who knocks you up, abandons you, and then marries your cousin after you risk your life and are disowned by your family for warning his dad that he's about to be shot really did love you the whole time...

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hiring a bounty hunter solves all life's little problems.

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If you want to marry the daughter of your father's enemy, run off to Oregon with her sooner rather than later (like after she and your baby are dead).

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If you're a Hatfield married to a McCoy woman don't tell her where you're Hatfield kin folk are hiding out.

Victory is Mine!!!

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Don't keep screaming over and over how you're going to kill someone at dawn because it ain't gonna happen.

Don't name your son Tolbert or he will be retarded.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rToPNSZ7T1U

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Don't go into a battle surrounded by total and complete morons.

If you end up in battle surrounded by total and complete morons anyway, don't hold up your hand signalling for them to cease fire, they're morons, they'll shoot your hand.

If you held up your hand anyway, and it gets shot, don't let out the most wussy scream of all time when it happens.

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If you want to end a feud, hang the retard.

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Shooting OVER the heads of the brothers of your girlfriend (who also happen to be tied up to some trees) is considered noble.

"Après moi, le deluge." Louis XIV

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When your dad is going to shoot you for having a big mouth, start yapping about the time he would have let you drown.

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