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10 things I learned watching Geostorm (I know it's normally 100, but we're not going to get that many responses, right)

posted 6 years ago by AndyKing (300)
16 replies | jump to latest

OK, I'll start: -
1. The US Secretary of State always carries a missile launcher in the boot of his car. Y'know, just in case.
2. Hand guns on a space station might not be a good idea (decompression anyone?).
3. The destruction of several major cities worldwide doesn't matter, as long as two brothers get to reconnect (awwww).
4. Asian smart cars handle better than 4x4 off roaders.
5. How? Because I'm the goddamn President of the United States of America!

[–] Moonglum9 (10713) 6 years ago

6. Stuff, things and various chicanery.
7. Additional gewgaws and thingummies.
8. Explosions and guns.
9 Crabs and crumpets, sir! Crabs and crumpets!
10. One day, I may watch this movie. Nah.

[–] Webeny (1) 6 years ago

Yep. I agree with everything you just said. Can we add the following:

11. For the love of all things good, we also don’t care about the total destruction of an entire beach of tourists with an impending tidal wave, but can someone please make sure that the dog makes it out alive..... oh thank you, he’s safe.

[–] AndyKing (300) 6 years ago

12. Wearing flip-flops helps you to run faster than anyone else on the beach.
13. Its no good running faster than everyone else if you end up in a blind alley.

[–] Moonglum9 (10713) 6 years ago

Of course, dogs are cute! If the dog was killed, it would have to be rated NC-17.

[–] Pomacea (14) 6 years ago

14. When it gets hot outside, cats prefer to cool off in the refrigerator section of the local grocery store.

[–] AndyKing (300) 5 years ago

On second thoughts, how DID the cat get in there. You know what, it's ok, I don't care anymore.

[–] actionkamen (23176) 5 years ago

The cat definetely escaped from the meat aisle.

[–] AndyKing1967 (33871) 5 years ago

Or the Ready Meal aisle, depending on where you come from.

[–] FootOfDavros (6726) 4 years ago

Things like this are how Coronavirus got started!

[–] SweetTooth43 (1782) 3 years ago

Well that response was gay

[–] Moonglum9 (10713) 3 years ago

You son of a June bug!

[–] chrichrichri (184) 6 years ago

10) The things I learned section often contain spoilers, so its good to read it before watching a movie like Geostorm

10) Best way to become president: just kill every candidate. So then I will be next president.

10) I'll always have a female german living at my space station. So when I can't find the right door again, she will appear out of nowhere and tell me the right code even of the wrong door.

10) What my daughter knows will always become true.

10) When even in India the dog survived, I know everything is fine.

10) I only have to use a super secret code once (best something fishy), next time I don't have to care about it, nobody will care (as everybody will thinl we anyway will only talk about fishing with the family).

10) Better not to have a younger brother, 1) he is mean 2) he hangs out with the guy who wants to destroy the earth 3) he is mainly occupied with various girls, even when I am stuck in a malfunctioning space station and could need some help 4) whatever he does, I will have to appologise TO HIM 5) I nearly die, while he is home doing nothing much, and afterwards I even have to make peace with him again

10) The president of the United States of America can never ever be a villain.

10) Weather occurances that I rather should avoid: Tsunanies, tornadoes, hail, and giant laser beams coming from the sky.

10) USB was yesterday, today we transfer data via the internet, tomorrow we will have silver pens, and when we touch the screen with them we can upload something.

10) Good to have a geostorm mode in a device which should actually do the opposite.

10) Since we have computers, there is this one and only threat: THE VIRUS

10) It always good to have a mexican guy flying around in a space shuttle when it happens that I am drifting in open space.

10) Space stations have hard drives in every window panel. These are common hiding places for viruses.

[–] chrichrichri (184) 6 years ago

10) Crashing one sattelite into another can be a good solution, but it will not really make a difference, at least we might save a hot flip flop girl with this strategy.

10) Better beware of cool young guys, they like to see the world burn, and they mean it litterally.

10) If I build another giant network of sattelites covering the athmosphere of an entire planet, it is a very bad idea to send the only password for the reboot mode to the president of the United States, even if they are the American ones, whose president will never ever be a villain.

10) Having sex won't be a success with your brother on the phone.

10) On earth I can communicate talking into a phone, but on a space station I need to enter a special room and speaking to a larger than live sized projection (probably because otherwise I wouldn't hear the one I want to talk to, as he is so far away)

10) Wonderful recipe for making a movie: family members (best male) talk pathetic things - enough deepness, huge budget - don't have to worry about quality, Crashing sattelites, exploding space stations, bad weather, the president of the United States of America - more story not necessary, the protagonists all survive (bonus: they go fishing together) - ending suitable for any movie

10) The reason a movie with such a wonderful recipe might still be could be flop: we forgot to show the aliens

10) It makes sense to kill everybody, me included, because I will become the magic president of the United States of America by doing so.

10) I have built this super sophisticated satelite system, which I need to control from a huge space station, but when this station self destructs, Nasa can control everything from earth too

10) SciFi = some cool technical stuff + I do not have to think if it makes sense
(Maybe also add a countdown just to make sure the audience knows something is about to happen)

[–] VeneVidiVici (2) 5 years ago

11. Spend millions of dollars on CGI effects - don't ask any of the 100's of development staff how computers work. Oooh - a virus, oooh a reboot, oooh back to the original OS, oooh-ah a "hard drive" in every random piece of crap.

[–] JepGambardella (466) 5 years ago

33. In the near future there will be a market for video playback software packages with the option of playing back only certain words on a video file, following a numerical pattern that the user inputs.

[–] mariomonsieur (221) a year ago

The chief operating scientist is responsible for all the computer systems, engineering, design, infrastructure, maintenance (or lack thereof, fixing transmitters) as well as all the astrophysics. And room for a relative handful of crew members.