Things I Learned from Parker

Any car can be hot-wired with a knife.

An ambulance can be stolen and the cops won't be able to track it down. In fact, you can drive around the streets of the city and even though the movie states that there is a high ratio of police to citizens, the cops won't be on the look-out for a big, stolen ambulance.

Any citizen can buy a fully working fire truck complete with all gear that firemen wear. This comes in very handy when you need to pull off crafty robberies.

Aging Cuban/Hispanic women shower praise and affection on total strangers, but treat their own daughters with disgust and insults, even though the daughters wait on them hand and foot.

Parker has a vast knowledge of medicine and knows just the right amount of pain killers and remedies to get him back on his feet within hours even though he has suffered injuries that would be life-threatening to most humans.

People who plan auctions at top-of-the-line museums/estates wait until the last minute to arrange for speakers and a sound system to be rented.

If you are in the business of providing speakers and sound equipment to top-of-the-line museums/estates you don't need any sort of security clearance to enter the premises.

Big time, ultra-rich mobsters in Chicago have only two highly incompetent bodyguards to protect them.

In Florida, you can miss seven car payments before you are threatened with repossession of your vehicle.

- JLO won't let you "*beep* it up"... by getting kidnapped.

- When asked to kill someone, don't shoot him in the head or anywhere that would be fatal.

- When someone you tried to kill is seeking revenge, be suspicious of real-estate agents snooping around your house.

When bad guys point their guns at you they will run out of bullets. Twice. In less than three minutes of screen time.

never EVER watch a Statham film again
avoid all JLo films
sack Nick Nolte's agent

Aging Cuban/Hispanic women love the soap opera channel and watch it at every available minute.

When someone is about to stab you with a knife, allow the knife to go through your hand.

If a highly trained killer has nearly beaten you into submission and is suffocating you with a shower curtain, just stomp really hard on his foot and he'll howl in pain and let go.

A dog's character judgment is the only thing that will win over a potential mother-in-law.

Mother's are only impressed by men who can take a beating, but not by men who do an honest day's work and can provide stability for their daughter.

If you think your life-long girlfriend might leave you it's acceptable to test the waters with other women until she proves her undying allegiance.

You can pick three locks in under 20 seconds, but if you're hurt it will never work.

A sure way to get into a property without being detected is to dive under the closing garage door, since no garage doors are equipped with safety sensors of any kind.

If you are involved in shady business practices never buy new carpet or it will get you killed without explanation.

Struggling real estate agents will do anything for money, because in the end that's all that defines them as a human being.

If your butt is big enough you can distract anyone from seeing something obvious: whether it's suspicious cops on a crime scene or viewers in a theater.

Sound systems are a safe place to set booby traps that may be activated by use (or timed devices?) because they will never be tested before the event. Oh yeah, and the great thing is the speakers will continue to work, which will help out with the heist in some unknown way!

Picking up shady and nearly dead men on the side of the road may make you rich in the future, so do it early and often...and never ask questions about where any money may come from. (Oh yeah, then wear overalls when interviewed for full effect!)

trickg1
This movie just begs to have a "things I learned" thread. I don't want do do a "100" things thread because it will likely go well over 100, and the numbering gets confusing, so let's lust do our own lists.

Italian women have Hispanic daughters

No two persons ever watch the same movie.