MovieChat Forums > Date and Switch (2014) Discussion > What did Michael do wrong?

What did Michael do wrong?

posted 10 years ago by nnenok
7 replies | jump to latest

I thought this movie was nice and a decent comedy. The only thing I disliked is the one that bothers me also in every single romantic comedy they make - the guy (or in this case the straight guy) needs to make a tearful, sappy confession in the end, excusing himself for everything he apparently did wrong (since usually it's not wrong but only the girl thinks it's the end of the world). But here, half of this movie Michael kept excusing himself, and I couldn't figure out what did he do wrong. Apart from when he outed Matty to his family, he was an absolutely stand-up guy and a great friend - he accepted Matty rightaway, learned about the lifestyle, was a more-or-less successful wingman ... Whereas Matty was the one who slept with Em and didn't tell him, who shut him out for days and instead hung out with the guy who broke Michael's car without explaining anything and became pissed off for no reason. I really didn't understand what was up with all those apologies.

[–] ThatsMyJam 10 years ago

I agree. I really hated Matty and I couldn't understand what his deal was. He said he was completely sure of his homosexuality, and yet he goes and sleeps with a girl? What? Why? I was just as angry and confused as Michael was.

You know, at least Michael was trying to be there for him. That's more than you can say for most best friends in a situation like this. Matty was lucky to have a best friend who accepted him for who he was, so he should have appreciated him more instead of acting like a jerk for no reason.

[–] acerock1999 10 years ago

Matty was vulnerable and confused about his sexuality/identity, and Michael made the whole thing all about himself. He made all kinds of assumptions about Matty's interests and preferences, dragged him along to stereotypical gay bars and clubs that Matty didn't enjoy at all, and then FREAKED OUT and outed Matty to his family, just because he had developed a crush on Matty's ex-girlfriend. None of it was any of Michael's business. They were best friends, sure, but all he needed to do when Matty revealed his sexuality was say "cool man, whatever makes you happy." Instead, he made a huge deal out of it and made Matty's life more complicated than it already was.

Everyone's had a friend who constantly needs to be the center of attention and tell everyone else what to do. Michael is that friend. It can be exhausting to be around people like that. He wasn't a bad guy, and his intentions were usually good, but I don't blame Matty for wanting to get away from him for a while. He needed to figure things out for himself, without his spazzy friend trying to make all of his decisions for him.

Besides, why should he have any right to be angry that Matty had sex with Em? Confused, maybe, but again - it wasn't about him. Matty had just gotten his first taste of the "gay lifestyle," courtesy of Michael's coerced trip to the gay club, and it didn't look like anything he wanted to be part of. Sex with Em was a way for him to experiment, just to make sure he really wasn't into women. Sexuality isn't as black and white as you guys seem to think. Plenty of men who identify as "gay" have occasional sexual encounters with women, and vice versa.

[–] nnenok 10 years ago

Okay, I agree with some points you make, but not all of them. Before I start just let me say, I AM aware that sexuality isn't black an white, I've had my (quite large) share of confusement in this area as well.

The point/premise of this movie for me wasn't about the fact that Matty was gay but about their friendship. Matty didn't seem confused - he'd known about his homosexuality since he was seven! The only time he was really confused (I agree with you here) is when he went to the bar and couldn't relate to the gay lifestyle, so he went to have sex with Em. (And btw, being confused doesn't give him an excuse to dump his girlfriend, then showing up on her window one night, have sex with her and then leave with no explanation - that still makes you a selfish douche.)

I guess you could say Michael really is the wanting-to-be-center-of-attention type, but even within these boundaries he really tried to be there for his friend. Try to see it from his point of view. Until the point of Matty's coming out, Michael was a regular straight guy that only knows other straight people. The expectations of gay people are too high when it comes to reactions to our coming out. We deal with this fact for years before telling it to someone. Whereas after telling someone, we expect their reaction will be the correct one right away. They need time to deal with it too. Especially in Michael's case, since he really had no way of knowing, not even assuming (Matty looked and acted like a "typical dude", had a lot of girlfriends, never made a move on any guy, not even drunk ...). Maybe he overreacted in trying to become involved in Matty's life, but in my opinion he was still acting like a really good friend. And you can't blame him for dragging him to gay bars, his only sources of information were gay porn sites an QAF. :D

[–] 10 years ago

[deleted]

[–] InsecureNeuroticControlFreak 10 years ago

This. This. THIS!

Sexuality isn't as black and white as you guys seem to think. Plenty of men who identify as "gay" have occasional sexual encounters with women, and vice versa.

This. So much this. People seem to think that just because you strictly date men that you are unable to get it up for women. Or that if you're gay you're automatically terrified of lady parts. That's such an ignorant way to think of it. Sexuality is not black and white. It is possible to be bisexual. It is possible to be fully gay romantically yet bi when it comes to sexual activity.

Matty went to Em and ended up having sex with her. It doesn't mean he was wrong about being gay. For one thing, he was totally *beep* up at the time, and another… He was deeply confused. He had just come out of the closet and realized the "typical" gay lifestyle wasn't for him. He and Em had had a long, healthy relationship with each other… It's totally believable that they would be confused enough and lonely enough in that moment that they'd end up being physical with each other.

This is gonna *beep* do for him what "Jade" did for David Caruso.

[–] Artemis_O 9 years ago

If you sleep with both men and women then you're bisexual.

[–] Kennedy (96) 5 years ago

Well the outing in front of matty's family was for sure wrong but before that I agree. He really tried to do his best, take Matty to the gay bar in town, the gay club in the city (where they really seemed to have a lot of fun too?!), tried talking about his taste in men, go carting together, dress up the cake with dicks, etc. Come on it's a new situation for him too and he doesn't know yet how to act in it, but he was trying really hard with the best intentions to adapt and stay friends and show that he accepted him as gay and try to integrate that into their life instead of ignoring it and just keep talking about girls only.. Come on maybe not the perfect way to handle it but among such long best friends the good intentions should count above all. Matty doesn't seem to appreciate it at all.

If anything Matty was kinda selfish for (kinda) keeping dibs on the girl despite being sure about being gay, even though Michael and the girl obviously liked each other, and not talking about the fact that he had sex even though they made a pact about it before.