MovieChat Forums > Won't Back Down (2012) Discussion > She wasn't that great of a mom

She wasn't that great of a mom

posted 11 years ago by carolynhagspiel
9 replies | jump to latest

Okay I know i will get backlash on here for saying this, but I'm going to say it anyway: the character Maggie Gylleenhaal played, although she fought for her child's and other children's education, and what she was doing was commendable, at the core, wasn't that great of a parent. She doesn't comb her daughter's hair, instead she has her going to school looking disheveled and like she just woke up, meanwhile dolling herself up. i can't stand when other moms do that. I know she's just a kid but it still matters esp. at school. No wonder the girl felt poorly about herself---the teacher wasn't the only one to blame here. Yes she's a villian and portrayed so, but the mom can't even do simple things like comb her daughter's freakin' hair? And then she's waking her up last minute, having her eat on the way while running? Not only is that a choking hazard, but that's no way for a kid to start their school day1 I allow my 4 year-old time to wake up and have her breakfast at home. I comb her hair before we go to preschool. I'm prepping her for public school this fall. If that means I have to get up an hour earlier so be it. She never heard of an alarm clock before?? I know I'm going by this one scene but that's all I have to go by with her morning routine. And instead of reading to her child at home, and using her bar tips and other job's wages to buy her daughter studying materials, like phonics etc., materials esp. helpful to dyslexics, she's out there "fighting" for her and rallying, when she could be making a difference with her at home. i KNOW it's the teacher's job to do this at school, but learning begins in the home. Also the child had an obvious learning disability, and the mother needed to spend more time fighting for special ed instead of a brand new school. I admire what she was doing, and yes it was commendable, but at the same time, i kind of got the feeling she wasn't really doing it for her daughter, she was doing it more for herself, because it made her feel alive and intelligent and like she had a purpose and was making a difference, neither of her jobs provided that kind of need (receptionist and bartender aren't exactly rewarding jobs). Meanwhile her little girl's at home watching tv with a blank look on her face while somebody else watches her. Sometimes she was with her but most times she wasn't. Then she flirts with the male music teacher---c'moooon! Grow up already. Then she has the nerve to tell her daughter "don't be a brat' when she's watching tv, while the male music teacher comes to the door to watch her. Obviously the girl was feeling neglected and bored as anyone could see by the blank look on her face as she just layed there watching tv.

[–] Yorick_Brown 11 years ago

Please work on your spelling and grammar.

And use paragraphs too.

Take us down and all apart
Cherry Tree
Lay us out on the table

You're sharp alright...

[–] JimmyCollins 11 years ago

Oh please, so she didn't comb her hair, big whoop, there's a lot of other things she could've done that would have made her a bad mom but not combing her hair does NOT make the cut. After watching this movie there's no denying that she was a loving, caring and attentive mother.

[–] Death163 11 years ago

So not taking care of ones child some how makes one loving,caring and attentive?????

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[–] carolynhagspiel 11 years ago

But it's the little things that add up and become big things, don't you see that? If she can't bother to comb her daughter's hair, which is a simple thing really, or heck at her age teach her how to do it herself, then what else won't she bother to do for her child that requires a little more effort and patience? She can comb her own hair, why not her daughter's? part of being a mom/parent is teaching your kid basic hygene. The girl was too old to go around with her hair messed up like that. It probably had affected her self-esteem and her mom didn't get that. And that wasn't just one thing, that was just one of many examples. The t.v. thing is another. You wonder why your kid can't read yet you park her in front of the t.v. all day and call her a brat when she doesn't say hi to the teacher you're crushing on?
I didn't say she was a horrible mother, or abusive, and yes, of course I know there are worse things a mother can do to her child as we hear stuff all the time on the news with grisly moms. But the movie was portraying her as some kind of heroin, a martyr mother, when these flaws were there, and I don't think a mother who can't take care of her kid in the simplest ways, such as combing her hair before school, allowing her enough time to eat breakfast in the morning, limiting t.v. time and instead reading with before going to her bar job, should be portrayed as such or put on such a pedestal. Focus on the small things first, then the big things like building a charter school can come later. The girl's feelings in the bathroom to her mother reflected her disappointment to her mother. Personally i felt the mom kind of deserved it for being such a crappy parent. JMO.

[–] HwajangshilAgashi 11 years ago

Well, I for one agree with you.
Throughout the whole movie I was thinking that Maggie's character wasn't a great mom. She was also a brat, and not a good role-model for her daughter.

I do think that the first scene of the movie was her having just come back from her bartending job, which, I suppose, was to show us just how hardworking she is. But then that would also indicate that this is a daily routine, and that the little girl was put in a stressful situation (having to wake up in a rush, eating on the run) most, if not every, morning, arriving at school late.

Then it continued with her harassing the lady at the private (I think?) school, asking to be put on a payment plan. When the lady said "it's not personal" (you could tell she was feeling bad and would like to help, but simply can't), she behaves like an entitled brat, hitting the car, and shouting that it is personal to her. I get it. She's trying to get something better for her daughter, but doesn't everyone? Why should she receive special treatment, when thousands of other parents/children do not. There's no harm in trying, of course, but then when you don't get what you want, you don't blame other people for it and verbally abuse them, and physically abuse their property...

Also the way she acted at work. Continually making personal phone calls, having people drop by to visit... and the way she spoke to the owner's wife?! Completely unacceptable.
At the bar she was giving away free drinks, as though she owned the bar.
In the first case it's time theft, and in the second it's just outright theft. I know most people won't see it like this, because it seems that these days it has become perfectly acceptable to steal from companies, because obviously all companies (including small, family-owned ones) are greedy and rich, so it's almost the right thing to steal from them...

And yes, we NEVER see her spending any time at home working with her daughter on her reading. Sure, she gets her to read "stop" off a stop-sign and makes a big deal out of it, which would be more likely to embarrass the little girl than to encourage her. She just sits her in front of the TV, and then laughs at the teacher character who actually does work with her son, and says that he doesn't get to just watch TV.

Finally, I'm not sure of the exact timeline, but we know it's a fairly short period of time during which the movie takes place. She starts a relationship with the teacher, and immediately thinks it's okay for him to stay at home with her daughter by himself. No, I don't think every man is a pervert, but I know that I would not leave any man - or woman, for that matter - whom I barely know, alone at home with my child.

EDIT: Forgot one thing that really bothered me as well: asking the teacher character to take a sick day to meet her! Once again, taking a sick day when you are not sick is, simply put, fraud and time theft. It's very different from taking a personal day, which either comes out of your vacation allowance/pay, or is simply an unpaid day off.
How does she think that a teacher taking a day off (whether it be a sick day or a personal day) will not affect her students negatively? Because it does. It robs the students of a day of learning, because, let's be honest here, a substitute teacher simply can't fill in properly.
(Sure, the school is a mess anyways, and it probably hardly makes a difference whether the teacher is away or there but just phoning it in, but that's not the point.)

[–] hth_lane 11 years ago

Actually I am a teacher and personal days do not come out of your check. You are alloted a certain number and they work like sick days except they don't roll over to the next year like sick days. So actually taking a sick day is detrimental to you because it doesn't roll over to the next year. Just wanted to clear that up.

[–] HwajangshilAgashi 11 years ago

Thanks for clarifying!

[–] Radiant_Rose 10 years ago

The "eating toast whilst rushing off to school" thing is such a cliche!

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[–] perfectjade 10 years ago

I don't think she was meant to be a great mom. she was an average mom who was struggling and wanted better for her daughter.

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