12. A "doctor" who is being shown around in a mental institution cell area will not know stay within the yellow lines, nor will the guide doctor inform her to do such.
13. The 3 smartest mental patients in the institution will not unbuckle the face mask on the biter until they are outside the cell; then it's just like pushing away a lock of hair.
14. Institutions keep the 3 smartest and deadliest mental patients in the same small cell unrestrained because it's safer that way.
15. Inbreeding results in deformities and a dominant bad hair gene.
16. Mental institutions have ample supplies of barbed wire.
17. Slutmonkeys is a word.
18. When you arrive at an abandoned building with no heat or electric in a snowstorm, it will be warm enough inside to immediately take off your jackets and hang out in tank tops and jeans and even party for hours.
19. Friendship 101: If your friend is being pulled and hung with a chain around her neck above you by mutant hillbillies, you should grab her feet and pull down putting more pressure on her neck and strangle her faster; in fact, keep holding on as blood pours on you from her neck.
20. Uneducated Mutant Hillbillies locked in a mental institution know the mechanics of snowmobiles and removing/installing spark plugs even though they have been isolated in the woods for 30 years.
21. A good fondue never goes out of style.
22. If you are supposed to switch watch in a couple hours with your friend who is keeping watch over hillbilly murderers, you look for spark plugs for a while then take a nap with your girlfriends.
23. When killers on snowmobiles are coming after you, stand in the open field and do not go for the cover of the forest.
24. When you are a cannibal hillbilly, you grab the 2 decapitated heads, throw them in the truck and leave the bodies…just because. I mean why would a cannibal want the body, duh.
25. When you are freezing alone outside in the night, do not put your hood up in an effort to keep warm.
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Boanthrope
9 years ago
26. At remote mental institutions, it switches between day and night every couple of hours or so.
27. After seeing several of your friends brutally butchered, you will have no adrenaline in your system and it will be easy to accidentally nod off whilst you're supposed to be guarding the killers.
28. Lesbian couples love it when their pervy friends spy on them making love (and hence always do so with their door wide open).
29. Mutant hillbillies always remember to leave a hairpin in their old cell, just in case they're ever lock back in again.
30. It only takes a minute or so to make a human-sized tunnel through a huge pile of snow with your bare hands.
31. When nine friends spend the night at a remote, abandoned asylum and wake up to find one of their friends missing and all of their belongings gone, only one of them will express any concern. It's obviously just a prank.
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blairbitchproject
9 years ago
32. After coming in from a brutal snowstorm, everyone will magically be dry and groomed with no signs they were ever outside in the blizzard at all.
33. Despite numerous gory murders occurring in the abandoned hospital, there are no traces of blood visible anywhere.
34. The first thing you do when you stumble upon an abandoned building is get comfortable on the couch instead of looking around for intruders, animals, or any sort of threat that may be inside.
35. Cannibal hillbillies won't kill you while you're all asleep, they'll wait until the morning after.
36. Even though you risked your life to save your captured friend, when all is said and done just leave him on the table to bleed to death and don't bother to check on him.
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ReverseBearTrap
8 years ago
37. Two doctors and one guard is all you need to run a sanitarium with "the most dangerous patients"
38. If you're trying to have a convo with your friends but it keeps getting interrupted by the friend grabbed by imbred hillbillies being tortured just tell your friends he's already dead so you can carry on your convo
39. Even cannibals love to fondue
40. People being eaten alive by cannibals will be quiet long enough for the cannibals eating him to enjoy their fondue
41. The deep frying trend popular in fast food chains and carnivals was started by imbred hillbillies
42. After capturing hillbilly cannibals, jail them, tease them and immediately fall asleep in front of them
43. If someone jumps out with their head covered in a burlap sack who's the same size and stature of the friend you're looking for immediately assume its one of the killers who you've never seen wear a burlap sack on his head
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emileasselin
7 years ago
44. Chest is the first body part cannibals will eat in a fondue.
45. An abandoned asylum where many murders had been commit will stay clean, even after 30 years.
46. Even if they love human meat, cannibals also love chocolate bar.
47. For college students, going 10 times to the same cottage is not enough to remember where it is.
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