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A couple of illogicalities and inconsistencies - SPOILER ALERT!

posted 11 years ago by Lovergirl_of_Paulie
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First of all, to avoid being accused of being a party pooper, I'd like to say that I really enjoyed this movie and it's definitely one of my all time favorite movies ever. I have re-watched it many times and I still find it simply beautiful. However, I've got some questions and things I dont fully understand about this movie and plot, so I'll bring them up here. And once again, this post may (and probably will) contain SPOILERS, so if you haven't seen the movie yet, stop reading here :)
So, here we go:

1. The last time Mia was home was last christmas, that's what she says while waiting for the ferry. So, since she met Elisabeth and Frida THIS time she visited home, it means Lasse wasn't engaged to Elisabeth for longer than a year (otherwhise she'd be home and Mia would meet her when she came for christmas). Alright. Later in the movie, Elin says Lasse had troubles accepting them both being together. Also we get the impression Frida is getting along with Lasse very well now. With Oskar too. So, basically it all happened in just shorter than one year - Lasse met Elisabeth, had troubles accepting Frida's homosexuality and her relationship with Elin, got over that, got closer to Frida... Dont you think 1 year is quite a short time to go through all this?

2. When Mia gets home after the weekend and goes to change her clothes, you can see the love bite on her right shoulder as she tries to cover it up. Later when she lays down in bed with Tim, he asks about the bite and she said she hit a branch or something like that, but this time the love-bite is on her left shoulder. Am I missing something here?

3. What time of the year is it in the movie? I dont know much about swedish climate conditions, but it is rather confusing. First Frida wears that (gorgeous!) leather brown jacket like it's spring. Then they go fishing and she's got a wool pullover. Then they go swimming. Wool pullovers and swimming? lol.

4. Ok, so Mia lives in a big city and Frida lives in a rural area, more like a small village or something. In the beginning of the movie, Mia and Tim take a flight to this village where her father lives. We clearly see them in an airplane which brings me to conclusion that there's a significant distance between these two places, obviously so that you cant just travel by car or it would take too long.
But after Mia and Frida get in a fight and after Mia leaves Tim, she goes for Frida and looks for her at her parents' place. So how on earth did she get so quickly from this big city she lives in to this small village when she had to take a flight in the beginning?

5. After Frida kisses Mia, Mia tries to leave the island and calls for an information on how to leave. And obviously she doesnt get a satisfying information because there's no car to rent and there's no way she could leave the island without a car. She needs a car to get to ferry. And she's stuck.
Later when Frida's car breaks down, her mother suggests they take a bus in order not to miss a ferry.
So, there still is a way to leave the island and you dont need a car, Mia practically could leave.

6. Tim sees Frida with Mia, he sees Mia kissing Frida and doesnt get pissed off. I mean, he does a bit but he still wants to marry her, he gets really pissed off when she leaves him in the church. Why then, why not sooner? A late reaction?

7. Frida comes with her school to this city where Mia lives, they have some school performance or something. Then how come she's able to leave with Mia after the show is over? She tells Mia to give her ten minutes just to let kids leave with their parents. What parents if they're in another city? And the kids come with school to another city, it's not usual for parents to go with them, is it. And if parents did go with kids, then why would these kids travel to other city just to perform in front of their own parents?

8. And yes, it's so normal to find people like that in Barcelona. Yes, the love of your life wants to be left alone and to find peace, leaves to Barcelona and you follow her and after you arrive, you know excatly the place where to find her in the whole damn city. You're in a foreign country, in a not so small city but you cant miss her, she's right there where you look for her. Lol :D

Also, I dont think Mia is bisexual. Frida first thinks she is, but later she admits a relationship with a woman before. And also when Frida asks her if she loves Tim, she says no. I think Mia is also gay, she just tried to convince herself (and Frida too) that she's straight. Not bisexual.

And yes, this is such a beautiful movie and although I loved it so much (all 10 times watching it :D ), and I wont say anything about the kiss happening too soon because everything has been said and discussed on that one. But the thing I dont quite get is this: they've known each other for 2 days! I understand the chemistry, but I dont understand how it can be so fateful for them.
I do understand there's a chemistry between them and that they want each other sexually and that they're attracted to each other. But hey, where do those other feelings come from? I mean, they've known each other for 2 days, they slept together and Frida almost bursts into tears during the dinner after they come back from the islad. They've known each other for 2 days and Frida tells Mia she could live in a box with her... C'mon, these things are serious things to say, you dont get to tell them really to someone you know for two months, let alone two days, no matter how attracted to them you are.

Still, the best quote: "I asked you to be nice, not to fall in love with her!".
Hahahaha I'd kill for a mother like that! :D

[–] janar72 11 years ago

Hi Lovergirl_of_Paulie,

I try to answer your questions as good as I can after watching the movie again, haha. I didn't count how often, though - I love it very much like you. I want to answer in short because I don't have much time to write. 3 general things first:

1. I live in the north of Germany but was never in Denmark or Sweden where most of the movie was filmed. I don't know that much of the countries despite living nearby.

2. I don't speak swedish and my english isn't that good so I depend on subtitles. But subtitles are subtitles and I know at least 3 different english versions that vary in some details a lot. So all my answers depend on the translation and it might be inaccurate.

3. A lot of your questions depend on the locations in the movie. I know the fictional locations of a movie don't have to be the factual locations where it was filmed - but it helps for this movie. According to the infos here on IMDb this movie was filmed at the island of Fyn in Denmark, in Sitges near Barcelona in Spain and in Ystad in the south of Sweden; but it was definitely filmed in Malmö near Ystad and in Stockholm in the north of Sweden, too. There are a lot of hints for real locations and I will explain it by answering the respective question. So, let's start:

1. The last time Mia was home was last christmas, that's what she says while waiting for the ferry. So, since she met Elisabeth and Frida THIS time she visited home, it means Lasse wasn't engaged to Elisabeth for longer than a year (otherwhise she'd be home and Mia would meet her when she came for christmas). Alright. Later in the movie, Elin says Lasse had troubles accepting them both being together. Also we get the impression Frida is getting along with Lasse very well now. With Oskar too. So, basically it all happened in just shorter than one year - Lasse met Elisabeth, had troubles accepting Frida's homosexuality and her relationship with Elin, got over that, got closer to Frida... Dont you think 1 year is quite a short time to go through all this?

No, in my opinion you miss a very important detail: Lasse acted very sympathetic towards Frida, but he wasn't comfortable with the fact that she was homosexual and with her relationship to Elin. He only accepted it by not thinking or speaking about it and maybe to please Elisabeth, but you can see his true feelings and confusion with this matter when Elisabeth confronts him with the sexuality of his daughter Mia. He said to her: "No parents really want their child to be gay or lesbian, if we're being honest, Elisabeth." - which shows not only resentment against his daughter's sexual preference but Frida and Elin, too. And it leads to a fight with Elisabeth because he was dishonest and in fact couldn't accept it.

On a brighter scale: The relationship between Lasse and Mia might be partly so complicated because of the fact he couldn't accept that she is in his opinion "not normal" and she wanted to be "normal" for him by marrying Tim. There is a lot of anger between them (he cheated on her mum and she's angry about it; he doesn't want to speak about her projects; he doesn't show up on Fyn without telling her), but his subtle homophobic resentment is a great part of their problems.

2. When Mia gets home after the weekend and goes to change her clothes, you can see the love bite on her right shoulder as she tries to cover it up. Later when she lays down in bed with Tim, he asks about the bite and she said she hit a branch or something like that, but this time the love-bite is on her left shoulder. Am I missing something here?

The first time Mia recognises like us the lovebite through a mirror that she stands in front of. So it is on her left shoulder like later in bed with Tim.

3. What time of the year is it in the movie? I dont know much about swedish climate conditions, but it is rather confusing. First Frida wears that (gorgeous!) leather brown jacket like it's spring. Then they go fishing and she's got a wool pullover. Then they go swimming. Wool pullovers and swimming? lol.

Deduced from the trees I guess it's summer or late summer; I couldn't find the actual filming dates. The climate in Stockholm is different from Malmö and again different from an island like Fyn in Denmark. The fishing and swimming scenes were on this island (the characters named this island often) and my own experience told me that a big factor on islands in the baltic and north sea is the wind. You could have a terrible cold summer holiday when there's a lot of wind, especially at evenings. Lakes and sees could be warm enough to swim when you find a spot without the wind and enough sun - so if you ask me this is accurate.

4. Ok, so Mia lives in a big city and Frida lives in a rural area, more like a small village or something. In the beginning of the movie, Mia and Tim take a flight to this village where her father lives. We clearly see them in an airplane which brings me to conclusion that there's a significant distance between these two places, obviously so that you cant just travel by car or it would take too long.

Mia und Tim live in Stockholm (there are a lot of hints) and they fly to Malmö in the south (the airport we see is Malmö) which is about an hour per plane and 6 hours by car (600km/370miles). I don't know exactly in which towns Frida, Elin, Lasse and Elisabeth live but it's definitely around Malmö in the south of Sweden (several hints for that) like the city they shot the movie, Ystad. Elisbeth's house on the island Fyn is approximately 160km/100 miles away from Malmö but depends on ferry (Fyn isn't such a small island, the house could be everywhere).

But after Mia and Frida get in a fight and after Mia leaves Tim, she goes for Frida and looks for her at her parents' place. So how on earth did she get so quickly from this big city she lives in to this small village when she had to take a flight in the beginning?

You missed the last words Mia said to Tim before leaving him: "I'm going to Skåne with dad. I'll move out when I get back." In another subtitle she said she will go south with her dad, Skåne is the region in the south of Sweden including Malmö. My understanding is that there is a short time off-screen between the scenes she leaves Tim (Stockholm) and the next one when she knocks on Elin's door to look for Frida (Elin lives in the south) in which Mia settled in (so to speak). So the distance from Elin to her father's place is very short.

5. After Frida kisses Mia, Mia tries to leave the island and calls for an information on how to leave. And obviously she doesnt get a satisfying information because there's no car to rent and there's no way she could leave the island without a car. She needs a car to get to ferry. And she's stuck.
Later when Frida's car breaks down, her mother suggests they take a bus in order not to miss a ferry.
So, there still is a way to leave the island and you dont need a car, Mia practically could leave.

Yes, that's a good one. Fyn is too big that she can't get a car and there's the bus - I have no possible answer to this.

6. Tim sees Frida with Mia, he sees Mia kissing Frida and doesnt get pissed off. I mean, he does a bit but he still wants to marry her, he gets really pissed off when she leaves him in the church. Why then, why not sooner? A late reaction?

In my opinion: Tim hopes Frida is just a fling for her and Mia will come back to him because it's worth the last 7 years of their relationship. He loves her, there's too much at stake to quit from his side - until she decides for both of them.

7. Frida comes with her school to this city where Mia lives, they have some school performance or something. Then how come she's able to leave with Mia after the show is over? She tells Mia to give her ten minutes just to let kids leave with their parents. What parents if they're in another city? And the kids come with school to another city, it's not usual for parents to go with them, is it. And if parents did go with kids, then why would these kids travel to other city just to perform in front of their own parents?

This event is a concert at a school called Östra Real which is in Stockholm. My understanding is that Frida's group is like a little childrens choir that occasionally has guest appearances in schools all over the country. It's quite common for such groups to travel with parents and teachers in my country in holidays or for partner schools on a day trip - it's 4 hours by train; that's alright in my opinion. Frida isn't responsible for so many children alone and it's plausible for me that she could stay with Mia when the other responsible adults are fine with it to drive back without her.

8. And yes, it's so normal to find people like that in Barcelona. Yes, the love of your life wants to be left alone and to find peace, leaves to Barcelona and you follow her and after you arrive, you know excatly the place where to find her in the whole damn city. You're in a foreign country, in a not so small city but you cant miss her, she's right there where you look for her. Lol :D

Yeah, Ok, that's a stretch at first sight and you could say it's a movie and it's all artistic coincidence. Fun thing, though: the spanish city Sitges near Barcelona, where this scenes were filmed, is widely known in the gay and lesbian community as a popular travel destination and my guess is that was the (hidden) intention with all the implications you can make from that for the future of Mia+Frida. And of course it's easier to find Frida in this small city than in Barcelona.

So, my answers to your questions. Some comments to the rest:

Also, I dont think Mia is bisexual. Frida first thinks she is, but later she admits a relationship with a woman before. And also when Frida asks her if she loves Tim, she says no. I think Mia is also gay, she just tried to convince herself (and Frida too) that she's straight. Not bisexual.

Does it really matter? They love each other and Mia seems a lot less "anal" than before (as Frida would put it).

And yes, this is such a beautiful movie and although I loved it so much (all 10 times watching it :D ), and I wont say anything about the kiss happening too soon because everything has been said and discussed on that one. But the thing I dont quite get is this: they've known each other for 2 days! I understand the chemistry, but I dont understand how it can be so fateful for them.

I gave up to understand falling in love rationally a long time ago. It's much more about emotions and attraction and Mia and Frida are shown as two people who love each other at first sight.

I do understand there's a chemistry between them and that they want each other sexually and that they're attracted to each other. But hey, where do those other feelings come from? I mean, they've known each other for 2 days, they slept together and Frida almost bursts into tears during the dinner after they come back from the islad. They've known each other for 2 days and Frida tells Mia she could live in a box with her... C'mon, these things are serious things to say, you dont get to tell them really to someone you know for two months, let alone two days, no matter how attracted to them you are.

It's a movie, they have to dramatise their story to entertain in a certain way and I think they've done it beautifully. And I love the music theme that plays so often, it's just great.

If anything is unclear, don't hesitate to ask. Best wishes,

janar

For relaxing times, you know.

[–] Lovergirl_of_Paulie 11 years ago

Thank you so much for taking your time to answer my questions.
This sure was one thorough and detailed post. :)
As I can see, my confusion with most of the things is somewhat connected to geography, as I am not very famililar with geography of the nordic countries.
This sure seems like a rather good reason to learn something about it :)

Also, I laughed when I read your answer about the lovebite and the mirror thing. I have no idea how come I missed the fact that she was looking at herself in the mirror. I havent noticed the mirror at all! (I guess I was just too busy staring at beautiful Mia hahaha!).

And the thing with kids traveling with their parents while having concerts was also unknown to me, because in my country kids travel without their parents and are a responsibility of teachers, staff and school in general. (so, not a great thing for teachers here :D lol ).

Based on your answers, I've come to a conclusion that they didnt even make a lot of mistakes or goofs in the film.
So once again, thanks for your time and your answers.
I think I'll just travel to Sweden this autumn and get more familiar with the geography, culture and people.

And yes, your english is excellent. Es ist viel besser als mein Deutsch. :))

[–] janar72 11 years ago

You're welcome, Lovergirl_of_Paulie! One short comment to travelling with teachers and parents: from all the trips I personally remember every time the teachers etc. were of course responsible for the whole group, yes. But on almost every trip were a lot more adults travelling with us and often it was a mum or dad to support his/her kid.

Dein Deutsch ist ausgezeichnet!

Best wishes,

janar

For relaxing times, you know.

[–] greek-fan 11 years ago

About question no8 and Barcelona. Well I don't think Mia found Frida right away. Or that she knew where to find her. They way they show those last scenes of Mia , makes me think that she just walks around the city hoping to run into Frida. Obviously she goes in every popular attraction/place of the city and that's how she finds Frida.

[–] janar72 11 years ago

greek-fan,

I'm sorry for the late answer; I had many other things to do. In my opinion the (small) fun fact to question no8 is that according to the fictional movie storyline we are supposed to believe that Frida and Mia meet in Barcelona at the end. However, we as viewers actually don't see the city of Barcelona but the real small town Sitges near Barcelona which is somehow known in the gay/lesbian community as summer holiday place to be (to put it this way). If you've ever been there on your own in the past you might remember the places they show in the movie - I think that's quite smart to put it at the end of the movie as a hint for people who might recognize it.

Of course, you're completely right with this:

Well I don't think Mia found Frida right away. Or that she knew where to find her.

I had a very good friend at university whose mother was born in Barcelona and who was regularly in this town for different reasons. She once told me that the streets of Barcelona are mostly structured in squares and it's very complicated to find addresses because it all looks the same (she said it's like a labyrinth). So it would be very difficult for Mia to find Frida in Barcelona - but they actually are in Sitges (25000 people live there) and it's much easier to find her in this smaller town by searching at all the attractive tourist places.

Oh, and another obstacle about these last scenes in Spain: I remember that I read somewhere that the film crew wanted to shoot more material in Spain but they had only money for two weeks. Unfortunately and very unlikely for this time of the year in Spain, in these two weeks it rained almost every day or the sky was clouded and they had to shoot all the scenes on their last day when the sun finally came out. I don't know, but maybe that's the reason why these scenes seemed a bit rushed. Anyway, I think the end is perfect.

Best wishes,

janar

For relaxing times, you know ...

[–] lamont-hard 11 years ago

You Say............... 6. Tim sees Frida with Mia, he sees Mia kissing Frida and doesnt get pissed off. I mean, he does a bit but he still wants to marry her, he gets really pissed off when she leaves him in the church. Why then, why not sooner? A late reaction?

In my opinion: Tim hopes Frida is just a fling for her and Mia will come back to him because it's worth the last 7 years of their relationship. He loves her, there's too much at stake to quit from his side - until she decides for both of them.

.............
To which I say this was handled way to easily and seemed for the sake of just moving the story forward, they had invested a lot in each other and it was glossed over with out much realism. Hard to root for people if we think they would leave/destroy there mates so easily.

[–] janar72 11 years ago

lamont-harden,

hm, there is some small truth to what you wrote but I don't agree with your last sentence at all:

Hard to root for people if we think they would leave/destroy their mates so easily.

I wasn't under the impression that it was easy for Mia to leave/destroy Tim after 7 years living together - actually the contrary. In my opinion the scene when she left her engagement ring on the bathtube (the ring that she promised to never take off on the plane at the beginning of the movie) was the most convincing one in which I rooted for her to do the right thing for herself and for Tim: Leave the person that you don't love and live the life you want for yourself with the person you love. That wasn't easy for her and she really tried hard to not break up with him - but it was inevitable and for the best in my opinion.

For me this didn't come out of the blue - there were so many scenes before that showed to me that this relationship wasn't working for both of them. Some examples from the top of my head: discussion about the wedding dress of Mia's mother; discussion about having kids in the near future when making their bed and Tim's sharp remark that Mia has to be kept in line by a strong man the morning after; the violent attack in the bed after he found out about Mia and Frida. No one in a loving and understanding relationship acts like this - on both sides, of course. Yes, you're right, they "had invested a lot in each other." However, in my eyes Tim seemed very controlling and she wasn't happy at all in this relationship.

And the main reason for her unhappiness is her difficult relationship with her father - she wanted to please him in every way possible and Tim was a small puzzle piece of this life that seemed perfect to her dad (and other people). To a certain degree she just pretended to love Tim for her father's sake; it's kinda convenient to live a lie with a father who seems to have a problem with a lesbian daughter and Mia was just too afraid to admit it to herself. Frida is the trigger to all these feelings that are coming out and in my opinion it's quite convincing in the way the movie shows her inner turmoil during this personal growth. So why on earth hold on to a relationship that makes you unhappy and just because you invested so much time in when you don't really want it?

I wrote at the beginning there is some small truth to what you wrote, and I mean you're kinda right about the fact that "it was glossed over without much realism." I would agree that in reality these break ups might not happen that fast and with more complications. On the other hand: It's a movie and they had to deal with certain restrictions that come with making/editing movies. The time when Tim and Mia went back to Stockholm after the first sexual encounter of Mia and Frida could have been longer and more detailed - but I was fine with it, to be honest. I never thought it was unrealistic; these things could happen when people break up for whatever reasons.

So for me - personally - Mia did the right thing despite the fact that it was hurtful to Tim and herself. And it's better for both of them ...

Best wishes,

janar

For relaxing times, you know ...

[–] lamont-hard 11 years ago

Great Post janar, but i have to say a couple of things that you may be missing. Most writers, even the very good ones will stick to the reasons you gave. They are easy cardboard answers to something that I find difficult to grasp. You say she did not love him and I believe just because someone comes to a painful choice of having to release there partners has nothing to do with how much they truly love that person. To me It was not for lack of loving him but close to loving him but knowing It is best to leave him know. Love is hard to let go of even if one finds another to love. The love does not evaporate over night, there are still a lot of loving memories and triggers of doubt even for the sure headed people.

Remember he loves her and did nothing wrong, got heartfelt sorrow for being rejected and still loving her.

There is a movie called "Torn between two loves" where the love for her husband never wanes even though she fell for another man. This was written by a writer who did not take the easy cliche guy is a jerk route for her affair. It was great dialog on what a person truly goes though.

I know writing 101 means don't go the with showing how difficult it is to face the spurned one so keep it brief and vague. The thing is the best love stories is when the breakup scene is done with grace to the rejected partner.... then we can believe it.

[–] janar72 11 years ago

lamont-harden,

I think we both have a very different point of view when it comes to this movie; which, of course, is fine. I completely believe that Mia wasn't in love with Tim and she certainly didn't want to live with and get married to him out of a feeling of passionate and fulfilling love. You wrote:

You say she did not love him and I believe just because someone comes to a painful choice of having to release there partners has nothing to do with how much they truly love that person.

I as a viewer of this movie was totally convinced that Tim wasn't the one true love of her life and that Mia just settled for a relationship with him because it was convenient for her and several other reasons (issues with her father; fear of coming out as a bisexual woman; not enough self-courage to fulfill her dreams for example).

And there are so many clues for the fact that she's not truly in love with Tim in the dialogue of several scenes. When Mia told her the first time in the greenhouse that she loves Tim, Frida doesn't hesitate to reply: "I don't believe that." I can see in her behaviour that Mia is lying to herself, and we as viewers get Mia's confession later in the movie when they are at the beach house and Frida asked explicitly: "Do you love him?" and Mia shake's her head while they were both crying. Later, right before she left Tim in his apartment, when she and her dad sat at the stairs and he was asking why - of all people - she's going to leave Tim for Frida, Mia just states in a very convincing and self-assured manner: "Because I love her." Right before that confession to her dad she indirectly states that she doesn't love Tim: "I think the biggest reason Tim and I were getting married was that everyone was expecting it."

So, all these scenes keeping in mind (and some others I can't add right now because I can't remember them as good as the one's I mentioned), I'm completely sure that Mia doesn't truly love Tim and never had in my opinion. He was never the one "who turned [her] world upside down" - another quote from the movie as a clue for that fact. They lived in an unbalanced relationship from the beginning: Tim truly loves her, she doesn't.

I guess our different view of the movie results mainly from a different understanding of the "love" that we're arguing about. You wrote:

To me It was not for lack of loving him but close to loving him but knowing It is best to leave him know. Love is hard to let go of even if one finds another to love. The love does not evaporate over night, there are still a lot of loving memories and triggers of doubt even for the sure headed people.

Yes, of course Mia cared about Tim in a loving way because they shared a lot of time together and they had a lot of memories and so on. The thing is: That's not being passionate and head over heels in love with someone! If you truly fall for someone like Mia did for Frida, all this convenient companionship with someone you just care about in a loving way like you do with your mother, father, siblings and good friends seems forgotten in a split second. It's all about passionate love or chemistry or finding your soul mate or whatever you want to call it - here on this board is this very interesting other thread

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1859522/board/nest/201781763

that explores this kind of love; both ljr-x25 and itgirlx explain beautifully what this kind of love means. You might say this is unrealistic or romantic, but it's obvious that Mia doesn't have the same feelings for Tim and I think she never did have such strong feelings for him than she has for Frida. For example, think about the scene in the bed of the beach house in which Mia told Frida that she loved another woman before but it ended long before she met Tim - and she never told Tim about it! In my opinion, that's the kind of information you could and definitely want to share with someone you want to live with for the rest of your life. But she was afraid or ashamed to tell Tim and, ironically, she could share this information without any hesitation with Frida right away - that's what sharing in a relationship means.

So, to me, Mia wanted to leave Tim because of the lack of love for him but (among other reasons) she was scared what others might think about it and she didn't have enough courage to fight for what she wanted (that was the last obstacle to get over with when Frida left in the taxi near the end, meaning that Mia has to stand up for her own dreams and fight for her own happiness and for them possibly being together). You might say that such love is unrealistic and romantic, but it's the love a lot of people dream of their whole lives and many of them through movies like this one.

All that said, to a certain degree I think you're right about Tim when you wrote:

Remember he loves her and did nothing wrong, got heartfelt sorrow for being rejected and still loving her.

Well, like I wrote in my earlier post he wasn't a gentleman attacking Mia in bed after he found out about her and Frida. In fact, he handled this whole situation a bit strange by not talking about it to her at all. That makes him a jerk from this point on in the movie; but you could cut him some slack because he's really mad about her.

I explicitly write this because: You would be able to talk about something like that betrayal and your own feelings about it if you're truly in love with someone; that's what a sharing relationship is all about in my opinion. Tim did wrong in this kind of sense in the time before; he didn't had a clue what was going on when everything was nearly over - he did nothing wrong to cause this break up in the meaning of being the reason for it because he did something terrible. So for me he's not just the innocent guy; in my interpretation of the scenes in which they are together he doesn't really care about her opinions or emotions or feelings; he merely wants to keep her in line and doesn't really sense that she's unhappy about that.

But I have to agree with you in the main point: Mia was the one who hurt him badly. In my opinion first and for all just by agreeing to have a relationship without truly loving him; that was all Mia's decision and her fault. She should've never let this relationship come so far to the point of discussing marriage; she betrayed herself and Tim the moment she considered to get together with him. And I think a lot of people who have seen the movie would agree with that: Both Mia and Frida aren't holy saints in this movie and for me it's shown quite convincing in the movie.

So, in my opinion Tim isn't described as a jerk who caused the break up at all; in fact in my eyes he's a really tragic character because he seems a very nice person who truly committed himself to a relationship and thought everything is alright. His flaw, if I might call it a flaw, is that he has no clue why Mia wants to live with him in the first place; he doesn't really care about what she sees in him and he seems to me kinda delusional about her and their relationship. Not knowing about all these things that go on in her mind and emotionally - you have to wonder about his awareness of such things.

When I thought of this right now I remembered the speech of the father of Rachel (played by Anthony Head a.k.a. Giles from "Buffy") in the very similar movie "Imagine Me & You" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0421994/) about his marriage at the end of the movie:

When I first met your mother, back in the Trojan War, I fell for her right off the bat. And although she loved me back [and] she married me - somehow I always knew I was never quite up to snuff. We muddled along, got through the years but I've never doubted that if she ever met anyone she really fell for who made her realize what true love is she'd leave me like a shot and how could I argue? Whatever you choose to do from here we'll support you, we always will. But please, my darling follow your heart.

This man is aware of what's going on in his relationship and he's fine with it. Tim, on the other hand, is clueless about Mia and what she sees in him - and that makes him a really sad and lonely character in this movie.

Thanks for your suggestion of "Torn between two loves!" I don't know this one; if I can find it anywhere I'll watch it with your comments in mind.

Best wishes,

janar

For relaxing times, you know ...

[–] lamont-hard 11 years ago

Another great post janar72, but I still feel we will be on two different tracks and that is good, we both gave sides that can be debated by level headed viewers.

There is no need for us to go any further only for me to say almost all of your conclusions has a flip side.

The only thing is, I say she did love him besides them not being a great match from her POV. Maybe she realized he was not what she wanted but it still was a love tapering off to a break-up more than a comfy relationship of companionship she was accepting...maybe.

Another reason why we may be both right is Some men and women,s ideas of love are very different. ...I enjoyed your post as we were able to discuss with out fighting RARE. I actually understand what you are saying and in some instances agree with some of it in other movies, just not this one...

One does not need as long as she did to realize what she had. Maybe she had a epiphany [compromise] ok I will accept that.

[–] janar72 11 years ago

lamont-harden,

I liked our discussion about this movie as well - thanks very much for your posts! I learned a lot.

You know, I read your other post on this board; the one about the aftermath of love stories in which you wrote:

I like all genre's of love plots, but why in films they never want to spend anytime showing the aftermath.

I tried to remember movies in which they actually showed the aftermath - but I couldn't really remember a single one. That might be because I watch way too many movies - just kidding. I think you're right with this observation, it's not a very common theme in movies.

Today I thought of something else in this context you might be interested in to know (if you don't know it already)? There is a tv movie called "A Village Affair" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111627/) from 1995 with a love story between two women, one of them married to a man and they both have two (or three) children together. I don't want to spoil anything about the movie or the end of this love affair, and to be honest this movie isn't that good at all to watch. But there's a real life story that I think is quite interesting and that has something to do with the aftermath of a relationship - not in this movie, but in real life, in fact.

In this tv movie actress Sophie Ward (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001830/) played the married woman who falls in love with the other woman while married and with children. She has to decide between marriage and new love - and of course it's very difficult for everyone. A short time after this movie was filmed the actress Sophie Ward left her husband of 8 years, Paul Hobson, together with her two very young kids, to live with a woman, Rena Brannan (she still lives with her until today).

What might be interesting for you in regards to the aftermath of this real life love story (despite the fact that this isn't a movie script) is that it was a very hard decision for all people involved to manage this whole situation - but they obviously found a civilized way. At least according to this interview with Sophie Ward from 1997, six months after she split with her husband:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ni_OYPNsVZ0 (9:18 min)

This might be one-sided because we don't know what really happened between them and we don't hear what the husband has to say about it. However, if you take this interview as their truthful story you can imagine how hard the aftermath was for all people involved, especially her husband. On a side note: I don't know that many movies with a fictional script that had such an impact on a real person, but the real life back story of the producer of "Kyss Mig," Josefine Tengblad, seems very similar to the story of Sophie Ward. Of course, it's not exactly the same, every story is an individual one, but I thought you might be interested in this real life aftermath (I read more about Sophie Ward after I watched the movie a long time ago; unfortunately I forgot most of it but I remember it was incredible to read about her and her story).

Best wishes and thanks again for this discussion,

janar

For relaxing times, you know ...

[–] PapaQuonis 7 years ago

I just rewatched this lovely film for the third time, and I noticed a few odd things as well, so I obviously came to IMDb to see what other people were discussing here. You mentioned almost all of them and there are reasonable answers to most of it in this excellent thread.

One thing I will add (since I'm Danish and familiar with some of the areas in the film) is that Elisbeth's house isn't actually on the island of Fyn but rather on one of the many tiny islands surrounding Fyn. I can say that with certainty, since there is no reason at all for taking a ferry, if they're only going to Fyn, because it's connected by major bridges to another major Danish island and then on to Sweden. But all the little islands around Fyn require a ferry ride, so that would also explain why it was difficult to rent a car (but not the bus thing, so she could have left easily anyways). The main reason they keep saying Fyn instead of the actual island (I don't know which one it is), is possibly because the film was in part funded by FilmFyn.

I did notice something else, but it's only a tiny thing. When Mia and Frida kiss for the first time in the forrest, it's pretty dark indicating late evening. Mia then runs away and immediately after we see her (in the same clothes) in the house, but it's much brighter and obviously earlier in the day.

[–] janar72 7 years ago

PapaQuonis,

One thing I will add (since I'm Danish and familiar with some of the areas in the film) is that Elisbeth's house isn't actually on the island of Fyn but rather on one of the many tiny islands surrounding Fyn.

Thank you very much for sharing this detail about the island!  You're right, it doesn't explain the question about not taking the bus, but I always wondered why she couldn't rent a car on Fyn? Your explanation is very convincing. Also, your assumption about the funding by FilmFyn sounds solid.

I did notice something else, but it's only a tiny thing. When Mia and Frida kiss for the first time in the forrest, it's pretty dark indicating late evening. Mia then runs away and immediately after we see her (in the same clothes) in the house, but it's much brighter and obviously earlier in the day.

I actually didn't spot this one and have to watch it again some time soon and look for this scene. I guess because this first kiss was so lovely, I never noticed anything that happened right after that. Just kidding ... 

Thanks again for your post and best wishes,

janar

"Love [...] is the most incredible gift to give and to receive as a human being." - Ellen Page