Things I Learned From Winter's Tale

1. Avoid recruiting undocumented aliens as your protege
2. Ginger is a dish best served cold.
3. Pulmonary diseases cause Anchor Babies.
4. Parking in New York streets is for those with demonic influence.
5. You may lose your True Love if you follow unusual medical advice supplied by precocious little girls.
6. Avoid Will Smith’s dentist
7. Good can only triumph over Evil through homicide
8. The devil provides swift judicial services
9. Close encounter with your ex-boss may induce long-lasting amnesia
10. Dem mullet-head redneck furriners have been stealing quality red-headed wimmins from us hard-working red-blooded Mericans with the connivance of dem red Indians for a long time!!!
11. Rounded objects placed close to Jessica Brown Findlay’s eye delight her.
12. Cute girls are vectors of diseases like cooties and miracles.
13. Sex in an unprotected tent with an illegal alien may cause instant death
14. Leave your dying hot virgin daughter alone in your home unprotected for a few days so that she will find true love.
15. You can save on your heating bill by acquiring Tuberculosis.