So Wrestlemania sucked a s s this year.
A week late, I know. Anyone else actually watch Wrestlemania this year? Terrible.
The Rock hosted. Why does Wrestlemania need a host all of a sudden? Before the show, Rock and John Cena were feuding. It seemed like it was going to lead to a Rock/Cena match. But Cena faced the Miz (the champion) instead, for no reason. It's always good when the champion is the only part of a feud that doesn't make sense. The Rock came out at the beginning of the show, said all of his catchphrases, and went backstage. Between all of the matches he was involved in wacky comedy sketches. Because that's what I want to see at Wrestlemania. Not wrestling, wacky comedy.
First off, the match I was looking forward to the most, Sheamus v. Daniel Bryan (the best goddamned wrestler they have right now, along with CM Punk) wasn't even on the show.
The first match was Edge v. Alberto Del Rio for the World Heavyweight Championship. What the fvkk? Shouldn't that be the main event? I like both of them, and the match was pretty good, but nothing special. Edge won. Alberto Del Rio should have, but WWE is too p ssy to have a heel win a title at Wrestlemania.
Next was Cody Rhodes v. Rey Mysterio. I'm not a huge fan of either of these people, but it was a pretty good match. Cody Rhodes won.
Next was Kane, Big Show, Santino Marella, and Kofi Kingston v. The Corre (Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel, and Heath Slater) in a 45 second match. I'm not exaggerating. Kane, Big Show, Marella, and Kingston beat them in about a minute. The entrances lasted longer than the match. This was pointless. It was time that could have went to the Daniel Bryan match. Oh, and did I mention that The Corre has the Intercontinental and Tag Team champions in it? Titles mean basically nothing in WWE anymore.
Next, Randy Orton defeated CM Punk. I like both of these people. This was a decent match. CM Punk should have won. He was dominating the entire Goddamned match, but he still lost somehow.
Next was Jerry Lawler v. Michael Cole in a match that went on for way too Goddamned long. Two commentators having a match. Sweet. That's what I want to see. Not Daniel motherfvkken Bryan at Wrestlemania. Steve Austin was the guest referee, and he was the only entertaining part of this whole fiasco.
Up next was The Undertaker v. Triple H. Probably the best match of the night. Undertaker won. It was kind of slow.
Next was Snooki, Trish Stratus, and John Morrison v. Dolph Ziggler and LayCool (Layla and Michelle McCool). Snooki picked up the win. I can't even make that up. I wish I was making it up. Because you know who I want to see at Wrestlemania? Not Snooki, Daniel Bryan. You know, the best wrestler they have on the staff. The guy who was supposed to have a match. But they canceled it. For no reason.
Finally there was The Miz v. John Cena. My God. This was bad. On every possible level. First up, you have two guys who aren't great wrestlers. How good their match is basically depends on who their facing. They have a short, sloppy match. Cena is worse than usual. The ending had to be the worst in Wrestlemania history. Cena and Miz both get counted out. The Rock comes out, restarts the match as a no disqualification match, immediately gives Cena the Rock Bottom, the Miz pins him, and wins. Then the Rock gives The Miz the Rock Bottom. What a match. What a way to end the show.
Terribly booked show. Pointless guest stars. The canceled the match I was looking forward to the most. Terrible matches. Matches that could have been better. The worst main event in Wrestlemania history.