MovieChat Forums > Dreams of a Life (2012) Discussion > I don't know what was more upsetting...

I don't know what was more upsetting...


Her life or her death.

I missed seeing this when it was first released and only got round to seeing it last night. Like a lot of these real life docs, it shocked me and will stay with me for sometime. I think the not knowing and the feeling of being unable to prevent something as sad as this from happening is uncomfortable and unsettling.

I know some of her family and friends did not want to be a part of the film or to share any of their memories and stories about Joyce and it is a shame as I felt the film was incomplete because of it. Also some of her old friends/boyfriends in the film, Martin in particular, were keeping a lot back as they wanted to keep Joyce to themselves, or didn't want to share her.

Surely some more pictures of her would have helped the viewer get a better idea of what she looked like and to prove that she was friends with these people.

How did you feel when you found out that the Morley had held a lot of information back? Personally it annoyed me. She made a story out of someone's life but didn't give the whole facts. Also, the timline should have been more clear. For example, Martin and his friends all knew her well yet none bothered to keep in touch, but perhaps ten years had gone by.

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This kind of story is very difficult to tell. Had it been a celebrity there'd be all sorts of photos and films and news reports but when it's an ordinary person it becomes quite difficult.

Looking at my own life I seem to have some parallels with Joyce. I've moved about for work and haven't kept in touch with many people from my past. There are very few photos of me and no videos or voice recordings.

There were a few photos of Joyce and her voice recording but that might be it. Towards the end of her life there are virtually 2 whole years where she seemed to disappear as far as her old friends were concerned, apart from Martin.

Did any of the people in this documentary really know her? I'm going to guess they didn't, not really. I think she kept a lot of herself to herself. Maybe even Alistair didn't know her that well. Maybe they just wanted to remember her their own way so that's all they told Carol.

Joyce was a mysterious woman who didn't seem to maintain relationships. If she had she'd probably have been found much sooner but because she didn't there isn't much we can learn about her so the mystery thickens making it a more compelling story. It's very circular.

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"Joyce was a mysterious woman who didn't seem to maintain relationships."

One of the problems I have with this documentary is that the people who agreed to be filmed were friends from over a decade before she died. The documentary doesn't really emphasize the last few years before Joyce's demise which would have been crucial to establishing why she died in the circumstances that she did.

From the timeline, it is implied that Joyce had been engaged to be married, and that she'd bought and sold a property. It seems that her life started unravelling sometime in 2001 which is when her family were last in contact with her. We also know she was a victim of domestic violence, which is of tremendous important to the telling of this story, but is somehow played down.


1997 – 2001 Works at Ernst & Young – Engaged for 2 years.

1998 – Domestic incident reported to the Police. No charges pressed.

1998-1999 buys flat.

March 2001 leaves Ernst & Young.

29th Mar 2001 – Mersey road sold for £94K – 2 Bedroom Flat.

August 2001 – Jan-Feb 2002 – Stays with ex-boyfriend Martin for 7 months.

Jan 2002 – rehoused?
Refuge for Victims of Domestic Violence - she had apparently been placed in the women's refuge accommodation as a victim of domestic violence.

Feb 2003 "Ms Vincent moved into the property, which is general needs rented accommodation. Large part of the rent paid by Housing Benefit.

Operation for Peptic Ulcer.

Dec 2003 Died of natural causes.
Found 25 January 2006 due to Rent Arrears


My theory is that as a victim of domestic violence, Joyce was intentionally in hiding, taking cleaning jobs so as not to be found. Perhaps her family had warned her against her relationship with her abuser and that's why they argued and she severed contact with them. Perhaps it was her pride that kept her from sharing with them what was really happening to her. They did try to find her, even going as far as hiring a private detective which is strangely omitted from the film.


I did come across a comment from somebody who had known Joyce through work:

"I saw the film yesterday and was actually very disappointed. I used to work with Joyce some years ago but did not know her that well. The story was told, it seems, mainly by her former boyfriends and some acquaintances so it was rather biased. In real life she came across as very grown up, mature and in control. Also much more lady like then the character portrayed in documentary. She did not strike me as a victim. She was lovely and friendly and being on her own must have been her choice for a good reason."

There are more photographs of the 'real' Joyce on the special features section of the DVD. Carol Morley did state that she chose not to use them as she felt that it would detract from Zawe Ashton's portrayal of her on the screen.

Morley has also said that she had no intention of creating a factual Panorama style documentary - which is probably the one I would have preferred to see.

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Having done some more research since yesterday, I think I'd have like to see a more Panorama style documentary too but I acknowledge the difficulties faced by Carol. She was completely at the mercy of the people who came forward and agreed to be filmed. I know she made a few decisions not to present certain information to protect Joyce's family and respect Joyce's privacy and we may not agree with those decisions.

This documentary was certainly good enough to get me to watch all of it and left enough questions unanswered that I wanted to do some of my own research. Maybe someone will make a more fact-based documentary in the future.

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I think the most crucial part of this was that she was living in refuge accommodation. As Mrs Mills stated, because of this she was unlikely to have given her address to anyone, so I do think people would have been wondering where she was, but would have no way of getting in touch. Assuming she was still in her cleaning job at the time, her employer would certainly have tried to get in touch, and the Christmas presents, this was evidence that there were people in her life. It would be interesting to know about telephone calls...did she get any? Who from? Lots of missing pieces as already stated by others.

I also wouldnt be surprised if more people who knew her hadnt come forward as a result of this film.

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It's a documentary. Not a mystery novel or a news report.

Documentaries are not required to be unbiased- in fact, most of the time they're a statement by the filmmaker.

While I was curious about a lot of things too, I still really like the film. It cuts out the sensationalism in favour of making us ask questions of our own lives.

So many stories like this focus on the 'dirty details'. This film focuses on the important parts- who she was, and what she meant to people.

Honestly, even if I died like that, there are still a lot of details about MY life I certainly wouldn't want aired in a documentary.

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Cool, then lets never make a documentary about anyone ever in order to keep their "privacy".

If the creator suddenly started feeling like she shouldn't reveal certain facts she should have just scraped this project all together. This is not good story telling. This is not good fact finding. Therefore, it is not a good documentary.

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I think she was running from something or someone and that's why ties were cut or blunted.

It's a sad reflection on so called 'communities' that she wasn't found or missed.

Unfortunately,it happens far more often than we realise but it just isn't news to the media so we never hear of it.
Sad.

Mal,they are starting to damage my calm!

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