MovieChat Forums > Dreams of a Life (2012) Discussion > Christmas presents

Christmas presents

posted 12 years ago by smoking_cyclist
14 replies | jump to latest

Did anyone ever find out who the Christmas presents were for? The story just about makes sense in describing Joyce's growing isolation, except for the Christmas presents. If I was buying Christmas presents for people the chances are they are going to be buying Christmas presents for me and if they live near me then arrangements would be made to give them in person. If the same applies to Joyce then there would be meetings arranged, however tentative. Why didn't those people wonder where she'd got to?

[–] louolou1 12 years ago

This question was asked of the film-maker at one of the screenings and her theory (no one will ever really know) was that Joyce had intended getting back in touch with family, maybe, and that the presents were intended for them.

[–] andyfraser31 12 years ago

That was sort of my thought too. It looks like Joyce had been through a really bad couple of years and maybe she was now starting to get back on her feet. Maybe she'd bought the presents for family or her old friends as a surprise. Maybe no one was actually expecting them.

[–] TapiocaSunrise 12 years ago

As louolou1 has said about Carol Morley answering the question at screenings, she also revealed that Joyce's family were trying to contact her. They had written to her at the flat but when they received no reply had assumed that she had moved, as she was prone to doing so frequently.

[–] Skepsis93 12 years ago

This was definitely the most puzzling thing to me. Wrapping Christmas presents certainly implies she'd intended to give them to someone, but the fact that her bank manager was her next of kin contradicts the theory that she had someone close to her for whom the gifts were intended. This suggests to me that she was trying to make some sort of fresh start, to regain contact with her friends and/or family, which in turn suggests her death probably wasn't self inflicted, as would seem likely given her supposed depression (possible past abuse, abusive boyfriend(s), job loss).

[–] bangkokbarry 12 years ago

I wonder if she was wrapping presents for imagined friends. There was no indication that she knew anyone at the time of her death - hence no-one noticed her absence. Very sad, but she brought much of that on herself as she was so secretive. No-one really knew anything about her - her closest friends only had a vague idea what work she did or where she worked, they knew nothing at all about her family, and she would disappear from their life for months at a time.

[–] alanhudson-1 12 years ago

Something else that occurred to me after viewing the DVD was that there was no mention of where Joyce was buried. Perhaps due to the wishes of her family?

[–] whistal 10 years ago

You know, I don't know why everyone immediately thinks her bank manager could not have been a close friend. I worked at a bank and my closest person of my life was my manager who also was a friend. And also re: the bank manager thing, if you say it's not like that, then maybe she just was so private she didn't want anyone really close to her to know. That's sort of how I feel in a way.... like if I were really sick... I'm not 100% sure I would want to put people through hardship versus just quietly fading away. Like, a few years ago, I didn't put an emergency contact in my file when I was supposed to.

The xmas presents aspect of this whole thing is very sad to me. You buy gifts to connect with people. You buy gifts for people you feel a connection with, on some level at least.

There's something kind of ideal about just fading away in a weird way... it seems to go with the life she lived. The only thing is that some filmmaker tracked down her rather ordinary life to get it dissected by her associates because of the extraordinary circumstances of her not being discovered. I think that idea would terrify me.... some random (not all were random but most seemed to be) co-workers discussing me as a person! Yikes! It seems almost blasphemous in some way, because this woman was clearly private, as am I, and I don't think she would like this film being made. Neither would I.

---
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[–] TwittingOnTrender 11 years ago

In the DVD extras, Carol also theorises that the presents could have been for Joyce herself - which, if true, is unbearably sad.

I believe that she was something of a nomad who changed her friends, jobs and situations very easily, like a snake sloughing off its skin. She could well have been living happily, with a new set of friends, and the presents were for them. She seemed (from the brief glimpse into her life that this excellent piece gives us) to have been somewhat hard-nosed and ruthless in gravitating towards people who could do things for her (even ending up in Nelson Mandela's presence) so cutting off her previous acquaintances and starting a new life would not have been unusual to her.

As regards her grave, there's a link on Wiki to Find-A-Grave (I've always thought that's a tacky name for such a sombre resource) - it's a nice page, but it says details of her burial are unknown. Her family seem to have shunned publicity after her death, so this would be consistent if they were responsible for arranging her final resting place.

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[–] Slogutis 11 years ago

In the recreation of the scenes where the authorities are checking her remains and apartment, it shows the investigators opening up a present and it was a tie.

As crazy as it is to buy presents for yourself, I can't imagine a woman would ever buy a tie for herself.

[–] Prelude_in_C_maj 11 years ago

I agree that a woman would not be buying a tie for herself -- although we don't know if that was actually one of the items found, or if the film maker made it up.

But about it being "crazy" to buy presents for yourself; that's harsh.

The first Christmas that came around following the breakdown of my marriage, I was alone, in another country (my ex-husband's country), my own parents had died back home in the previous two years, all my friends in the new place had been my ex-husband's friends, and I found myself alone for the first time in my life. My family back home had all picked fights following out parents death and I was estranged from them because quite frankly, they're crazy.

Anyway, it was my first Christmas without a single person in my life. newly separated, parents dead, siblings estranged, and living in a foreign country without any loving person in my life at hand.

Hell yes I bought myself some damn presents, wrapped them about a month ahead of time, put them under the tree, and opened them myself on Christmas Day. I also made myself a full Christmas dinner with all the trimmings and ate it alone.

Sometimes life deals you a really lonely blow, and you do whatever it takes to say screw this, I'm making things seem normal and making myself just a little bit happy anyway.

[–] juxtapose70 11 years ago

She was just a recluse who probably thought that her looks would get her a life..and when they didn't and the big 4-0 was upon her, she stopped caring, quit her good job for a cleaning job (oh the irony)and "gave up". I think whatever she died from probably had to do with whatever it was that was making her vomit blood before she died. However sad it is that no one found her for two years (do the math. It's two years and one month..NOT 3)..it's not surprising and I doubt she'd care. Recluses don't want to be bothered. I know because I am one. If I died no one would find me for a very long time and I am fine with that. Dead is dead...who can care when they're dead?

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[–] cookiela2001 11 years ago

<< She was just a recluse...However sad it is that no one found her for two years (do the math. It's two years and one month..NOT 3)..it's not surprising and I doubt she'd care. Recluses don't want to be bothered. >>

It's true when one person in the film says that if Ms. Vincent was isolated from her family and from deep relationships, then that was mostly her own doing. When people are continually pushed away, eventually, they'll only follow so far.

It is sad, on the one hand, that this woman died alone...yet on the other, she wanted it that way.

So, good...(I guess)

.

[–] persen1 11 years ago

I imagine the gifts was for her old friends and one person in particular: Martin Lister
In the movie it is said that Martin was the first person she contacted after a long time when she got in to some trouble. She stayed in his small flat, sleeping on the couch for 6 months before she moved out.

So maybe she was beginning getting her life back together and remembered her old friends, specially Martin, and wanted to get back together with them because she remembered how great they all had it when ever they where together.

[–] luckylogicgirl 10 years ago

I almost bought a tie for myself this week. It was blue and I was tempted to get it in case I wanted to cosplay as Castiel from the sci-fi series Supernatural.

A lot of girls buy ties nowadays for genderbending cosplays or Annie Hall & Carrie Bradshaw working girl fashion or punk rock style ala Avril Lavigne.