The NND Drinking Game

*** The NND Drinking Game is for educational purposes only - any attempts to play this game will probably end in alcohol poisoning - don't try this ***

Have a drink when:
- The narrator says this happened in a small / sleepy / quaint / quiet / rural town.

- The narrator says that nothing like this ever happens around here.

- A simile or metaphor is used. (They'll be as disappointed as a meat eater at a vegetarian dinner...)

- A play on words is used. (The owner of the local Bar & Grill is about to get grilled by the detectives...)

- A detective's hobby is explained to us in order to fill a few minutes. (Hint: 9 times out of 10 it is fishing or hunting...)

- The victim is said to be a quiet / churchgoing / unassuming / friendly / pillar of the community.

- The victim is said to have had no enemies.

That should get you drunk fast enough, but feel free to add more.