Someone else bagged it but that scene seemed pretty real and good acting I thought, how most girls would react. I've been given the yeah maybe line except I don't keep on persisting like the guy did.
shareYup. Been there too.
shareHe managed to be both funny and creepy.
shareI hated that scene - made me really uncomfortable, although it was very stereotypical. I know a lot of my female friends hate the whole assumptive "married, gay" etc. crap that gets thrown at them -- "Why can't I just tell you I want to be left alone and have you respect that?" She made it pretty damn clear she wanted to be left alone, and it was starting to make me uncomfortable -- I was almost relieved by the crash.
shareRelax... he was completely harmless in the entire exchange... smh.
Right. Well, I have to-- I have to go now, Duane, because I, I'm due back on the planet Earth.
It's not harmless when someone can't take no for an answer. It's annoying and creepy. Like "No I don't want to *beep* go out with you!" That should enough.
shareAgreed. As an (I'll pardon the presumed narcissism comments this will invite) attractive female it's incredibly frustrating when guys won't stop coming on to you even though you've made it clear you're not interested and have tried to be polite about it. We have to be polite and smile and say maybe because some (please note I said SOME and not all) of you guys get really abusive when rejected and it only takes one of ya'll to make our life hell in Oh so many glorious ways. So please guys out there if a female is trying to be nice but clearly wants to be left alone DO NOT continue to harass her, it puts the woman/girl in a situation where she feels she had no control and is not respected as a human by men/boys. It's awful feeling like you could be in danger and have no way of protecting yourself and no one cares. It sucks feeling like you're prey and it eventually changes your Outlook on things typically not for the better.
shareI agree. It gets INCREDIBLY frustrating when you're trying to let a guy down in a friendly way but they insist on harrassing you. If a woman is interested, we will let you know. If it's obvious we're not into it, leave us alone. It's not cute or charming. Don't keep pushing until we're forced to be rude and then label us a "bitch" or a "prude" just because you couldn't (or rather wouldn't) take the hint. Just move on.
shareTo all of the "why don't they take no for an answer" complainers here: what you are overlooking is that the average guy is incredibly oblivious, and the kind of guy who hits on strangers on buses and such is even more oblivious than average. When you say it is "obvious" that you're not interested you are wrong ... it is not obvious to them unless you spell it out. Just say, "Look, I don't mean to be nasty, but I guess I need to be blunt. I'm not going to go out with you, and I don't want to talk. Please leave me alone." Anything short of that isn't going to work. Half of the guys who would give you unwanted attention in a public place are clueless nerds and dorks who will finally get the message and you'll be done. The other half are cocky jerks who fancy themselves as womanizers. They may well give you the nasty responses you complain about, so pick your poison when it comes to them. Maybe try the "I have a boyfriend" routine with them first if you can't bear the nastiness. Unless you are oblivious yourself, in most cases you should be able to tell which of the two types you are dealing with.
By the way, MissCaptainObvious, I think the guy who asked if you have a boyfriend was making a joke in response to your rant. (Like pretending to make a pass at you.) The "obvious" isn't always so obvious.
You don't get what I'm saying. I have been in situations where I've flat out told them I have a boyfriend or no thanks I'm not interested and they still won't go away. They just keep pushing "he doesn't have to know" or "come on give me a chance" even after I HAVE put it plainly and clearly that I'm REALLY not interested. The fact of the matter is I shouldn't have to get nasty about it in the first place; they need to understand "no means NO". This is when I'm apparently a "bitch" because I'm not into cheating (or when I was single just not looking for anything). So while I get your point, that's not what I meant. I've been very very straight-forward with "no" and still been harassed. I'm simply saying that if a woman tells you NO, then leave her the *beep* alone (not meaning you, meaning overly-persistent guys).
And yes, I'm sure he was making a joke. I'd just not been on this thread in a while and didn't think of that at the time lol.
While I agree that in NORMAL circumstances, it is rather rude and/or creepy to talk to a stranger like that, and KEEP on pressing after they would clearly rather be left alone (and that goes for anyone, not just women that are being "hit on"). But I think the key factor here that most of you fine folks seem to be ignoring, is that the movie makes it pretty clear as the story progresses, that they are in fact, basically, "Soul Mates". They have been connected since childhood, have a ton in common, and shared a headspace while she was in her coma besides.
Stopping to consider what the rest of the film reveals, it is not longer quite so evident that he is being a "creeper", but rather...seeing her "for the first time", he felt irresistibly compelled to talk to her. As in he subconsciously knew he HAD to talk to her. These two people were Fated. He even said to her, in the dream/spirit world, near the end, "This is why we're here". They were forever connected, and that particular night in their lives was something they both had to finally find a way to come to better terms with, and grow from.
It was also fairly obvious that, as stated in the movie, they were both "hermits", drifting souls, alone and incomplete. It became obvious as the story unfolded, that while it initially seemed as if they didn't get along, that they actually had a lot in common and got along rather well. In some respects, they literally filled the gaps that were missing in each other. That's textbook "Soul Mates" material. He went out of his way for her, and she for him, because they needed each other.
Right down to the very fact that that dream/spirit world was a fusion of both their making, and she couldn't escape through that door without him, the door required both of them to open. IE she couldn't wake from her coma without him, and once she had awakened, she was able to help him start to recover as well, which he had also been unable to do on his own. They absolutely needed, and completed, one another. To me, that was the essential crux of the entire story.
So taking all of THAT into context, and going back to that opening scene, it paints a much different picture. Just imagine if they had actually met each other that fated day back in '92, instead of just bumping into each other. If he had started talking to her then, and they had hung out, instead of him hanging out with his "no-good" friends. How different both of their lives might have been, even just on that night. The opening was an awkward beginning, yes, but by design.
If the reason that he was so pushy is that there was a soul connection, then why didn't she sense it? If nothing else, why wasn't she at least open to the idea?
shareI agree with Godzilla.
Mr. CBKaufman, I'm sorry if you've approached women who weren't "open to the idea."
It's possible that they were preoccupied with something besides finding a man, or a date.
One night in a hotel lounge/bar/restaurant, I noticed three very cute guys at the bar, while I was at a single table eating dinner and reading a science fiction book which I needed to write a review for in the next 24 hours.
(If anyone's interested, it was Dan Simmons's "Hyperion," quite a horrorshow in itself.)
I was fascinated by the book, but in my direct vision were these three handsome college kids pushing each other: who would ask me to come over and join them for a drink? (And then who would get to go to bed with me?)
One of them finally came over, nice enough to wait until I'd finished eating, and begged to buy me a drink. I explained that I had been hired to read and review; plus, I was really into it and I WANTED to keep reading.
He was persistent and suave and persuasive (see what he did there?) and I had tears in my eyes when I said, "I would LOVE to come over and hang out, but I am enjoying this book, and I have a deadline, and I have to turn you down. I am not a man-hater and I'm sure we'd have fun, but I just can't."
Perhaps I saved myself from Roofies; perhaps I lost a chance to make three great friends. But I wrote the book review and got paid and I'm sure those three drunkenly charming guys found other women half an hour later, if that's all they wanted.
As for Freddy: I would certainly have found him attractive. But Ana was busy with something and told him so more than once. It can be scary to have a stranger insist on spending time with you. This ought to be true for boys as well as girls, men as well as women.
A very good thread, thanks.
Science first! And information: also first!
Uh, severe space invasion and creepiness. The hairs on the back of my neck would have been up.
"What would you like to see on your honeymoon, Mrs. Cord?"
"Lots of lovely ceilings."