MovieChat Forums > The To Do List (2013) Discussion > 'You had me at.....'

'You had me at.....'

posted 10 years ago by jallen99
29 replies | jump to latest

Despite others on this board, I thoroughly enjoyed this film! Nice to see the female point of view too.

The movie takes place in 1993, a year when I was still in college. And it's nice to see/hear all the 90's/late 80's touches and references.

However, at one point Aubrey's character was with a guy and said something like "You had me at...." which was a clear reference to Jerry Maguire ("You had me at hello"). The problem is Jerry Maguire came out in 1996.

Sure, these kids could have said something like that before the film came out, but it seemed to me that the film and the characters in it were trying for the Jerry Maguire reference, and they wouldn't be familiar with a film that didn't come out until 3 years later.

[–] youngexec 10 years ago

Except the point of few was feminist, not female. That's why very few women or men like the film. Every female in the film is a slut and this is celebrated/normalized in the film.

[–] jallen99 10 years ago

If the pov was feminist, so be it. My wife and I both enjoyed the film regardless.

If by "slut" you mean brought to the same level as most men are at in their efforts to f- every girl in sight, then no, they weren't anywhere close to that.

Most of the women in the film were portrayed as "experienced". This "celebration" is no different than any other male-oriented horndog film ("Porky's" and a lot of early 80's raunchy comedies that centered on men/boys attempts to "lose it", "American Pie").

Maybe you don't like seeing women with the same level of desire as men to take/do what they want which is why you call it "feminist".

[–] DeusExKatrina 10 years ago

You're my hero.

I mean, I was going to say the same thing. But I think it'll mean more to him (*ehem* misogynist) to hear it from you.

Let me buy you a virtual beer.

[%]D

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"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the antidote to shame."

[–] youngexec 10 years ago

Na you should blow him...

[–] jallen99 10 years ago

How about a wine cooler instead, in keeping with the 1993 era of the film? ;)

Seagram's, or Bartles & Jaymes?

[–] youngexec 10 years ago

LMAO.

Lemme get this straight...

A Hillary Clinton worshiping nerd girl is scared into making a sex checklist… for which a line of eager participants forms… and you compare this to a male oriented teen “horn dog” film where the guy doesn't need prompts to want sex and struggles through out the film to get some action.

Maybe you don’t like realizing that men and women are NOT the same sexually and this was just comfort food for your feminists hopes, dreams and most of all delusions.

[–] jallen99 10 years ago

It has been my experience that women love sex. If you've found otherwise, I'm sorry to hear it.

[–] youngexec 10 years ago

LMAO. But you're married and to a feminist... so what do you know about women and sex except nothing.

[–] jallen99 10 years ago

I didn't say I was married to a feminist. I said my wife liked the movie too.

You're saying a lot about yourself when you doubt my claim that women love sex. Maybe more than you intended.

[–] hellobattlefield 10 years ago

Don't worry, there are young men out here in the world that don't view women as submissive sex slaves, so I think we'll out balance this one in no time.

[–] DeusExKatrina 10 years ago

I have the poster on ignore but I can get the gist of what he's saying from your post... I just want to highlight to him that nothing was submissive about Brandy in The To Do List. She found herself wholly in control of her relations, as we see with both Rusty and Cameron.

Anyoo you're right that if the guy doesn't even think women enjoy sex... there is something seriously wrong here. Either that or he's just a kid. I mean he might be 12 years old, we don't know.

---
"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the antidote to shame."

[–] youngexec 10 years ago

You are weird. You make comments to someone you put on "ignore"? WTF.
Brandy made a sex checklist after she was ridiculed for being a virgin, not because she was horny. She also was escorted to a party she did not want to attend. Plenty of submission in Brandy, but I wouldn't expect you to realize that.It's clear that you don't know what ignore or submissive means.

[–] peaceandpenguins-1 10 years ago

Brandy wasn't really ashamed about being a virgin, she was ashamed that their was a gap in her education and she felt that if she didn't get those experiences then she would be less successful in life. So she takes steps to change that and get the experience she wants/needs. Maybe Brandy was submissive to her friends, but ultimately she is the one who took charge of her sexual experiences because she wanted to. And of course there was a level of horniness involved. How else would you explain the "Pour Some Sugar On Me" scene where she is obviously into Rusty Waters?

[–] youngexec 10 years ago

What are you yapping about?

Wake up! Her sex drive was low to the point she had to learn to play with herself. Please shut up and go away now.

[–] berichtausinterzone 10 years ago

I consider myself a feminist, yet I don't see this as a feminist movie really.
Youngexec, I pin you as a pua forum lurking troll, so why don't you go back there ..

[–] youngexec 10 years ago

Did I ask you? Then why are you answering a question that wasn't asked?

And what the f is a pua forum? Can you use mainstream insults rather than some obscure weird ones.

Run along now idiot.

[–] youngexec 10 years ago

Lol. Sorry that your pro slut film tanked at the box office and you so are so butt hurt about it that you need to project negative traits onto the vast majority of those who don't share your or the films twisted view of women and sexuality. You are creepy!

[–] youngexec 10 years ago

Nope you didn't say you were married to a feminist, but you did say your wife liked the movie. And that said alot about you and your wife. Maybe more than YOU intended. This movie made only 3 million, because Its a feminist slut film. Which both of you liked. You put 2 and 2 together. Ok.

The females in the film are sluts, but you don't see that because you confuse loving sex with using sex. There's a big difference. Completing a checklist is not "loving sex"... Putting out to make it up to your husband because you lied to him for 20 years about your past is not "loving sex", and banging a pool manager because your fiance (who actually loves sex) nailed some strippers is not "loving sex". It's screwed up and slutty.

It is obvious you don't even know what loving sex means and have never been with a woman who does love sex. But at least you have sluts buying you virtual beers...

[–] jallen99 10 years ago

Assuming that everyone who likes this film has to be feminist is an error in logic. I know you're not going to agree so its not really worth my time to explain it to you.

I do not think Aubrey's character was using sex for love in the film, so your right about that. But women DO love sex. That's a fact you'll probably never find out unless you change your attitude. Check back with me in 10 years or so after you've grown up a little and see if your experience has changed. If you haven't changed at all, I feel sorry for you.

[–] youngexec 10 years ago

Nah. You're the one with the logic issue. Who said anything about everyone??? MOST people that like this film ARE feminists. So get it right, dude! That fact combined with the way you think and write makes it obvious you and your wife are ones.

So when you spew political rhetoric about what women and sex, I just laugh. Ya see you can't even recognize when a single woman loves sex, so how can you tell me about women? Not a woman in this film loves sex. (yet you think they did)so it's clear you really, really don't know what you are talking about when it comes to who and who doesn't love sex.

Unfortunately because of that you probably ended up with a wife like the judge's who believes in "anniversary sex" and KY Jelly. And yet you are thrilled, because you don't actually know better.

[–] jallen99 10 years ago

I don't remember saying anything political. You're the one who keeps over using the term "feminist".

I was single for a very long time, longer than I've been married, and perhaps as long as your short life (since you bill yourself as "youngexec"). I've had the pleasure of many women before I met my wonderful wife. I love women, all types of women. If that alone makes me a "feminist" in your eyes, then so be it. I'll not shrug it off.

It seems you have a lot to learn, little man. And everyone here sees it. If you treat women like you write about them, then it's no wonder you haven't had willing sex with one. They say your kind never changes, but I hope for your sake you do. There's no reason for treating these wonderful creatures with the regard you seem to give them.

All I can say to you is - grow up.

[–] DeusExKatrina 10 years ago

I love women, all types of women. ... these wonderful creatures...

o.O You definitely weren't lying when you said you weren't a feminist. That seems pretty darn close (i.e. identical) to what we'd call blatant objectification.

That's okay though, I still love the hell out of you. <3

You're right, I hope the kid can get his head straight someday.

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"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the antidote to shame."

[–] jallen99 10 years ago

Please excuse me if I offend. I didn't intend to make it sound like I was a user of women. I respect the hell out of them and all they accomplish.

I guess I'm trying to say that I'm glad I was born a man, if only so I could appreciate women more.

[–] DeusExKatrina 10 years ago

I guess I'm trying to say that I'm glad I was born a man, if only so I could appreciate women more.

O.O As a lesbian I'd say I appreciate women as well as any man.

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"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the antidote to shame."

[–] Lord-Ramsay-Bolton 10 years ago

[–] youngexec 10 years ago

Sexual politics is all over your writing even if you don't realize it. Ya see, even your faux ally was all over you about "objectification". LMAO. Of course her vaginalysis is wrong, but any lame excuse to bust balls for her kind and they’ll take it. Even when it means they are eating there own.

Your comment "I love women, all types of women" is actually called butt kissing... and it's something feminist men do to women way, way to much. And then inevitably get criticized for. Males who think like you make excellent punching bags for females like her. Take note.

I’m sad for you. You think you have it figured out, but you really don't. I don't ass kiss or treat women special so you vilify me when it is you with issues. Don’t you realize all that brown nosing got you was a virtual beer (not even real one) and a tongue lashing from the harpy, Deux ex Kuntrina???

And while you are all kinds of mistaken about me, you made one correct comment. I don't like my women willing. It's true. I like them eager. Which is why in HS and college I banged a lot of sluts and crazy feminists who just like the supposed heroines of this movie are quick to spread their legs and cheeks… but do so for all the wrong reasons. Checklists and lube and “putting out” and revenge. Oooh. How sexy.

But all that was before I knew any better. Now I've moved onto women who respect men and are eager to have sex…but do so having decent motives.

All I can say to you is - grow wiser.

[–] treegiraffe2 10 years ago

Umm I don't know what is wrong with most of the people in this thread but you need to get that checked out soon...

I'm not a feminist and this is one of my favorite movies. Just because you are independent and live for yourself does not make you a feminist. It makes you an adult.

Everyone loves sex. Doesn't matter what kind of sex. Sex is sex is does not have to mean anything. And once you have it you understand why people do it so much.

Having sex doesn't make you a slut. I feel like the people here complaining about this movie and calling it a slutty feminist film are sad lonely virgins themselves and hate other women who like to have sex because they can't get any.

It's a movie. Don't like it, don't watch it. Go get laid.

[–] 10 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Bruno-Diaz 10 years ago

I think it is just using that line as a joke because "you had me at hello" is seen as this super romantic line in a super romantic situation. The way it is used in this film... Not so much.
So I feel it is a 'Jerry Maguire' reference by the filmmakers, but not by the character in the film.

"God, when I meet you, I'm gonna be pretty. If it's the last thing I do. I'll be a beautiful angel."