100 things I learnt from The Collection
1 - having a broken arm is the best way of getting out of a cage
2 - the best way to get someones attention is to throw a dead dogs head at them...
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MovieChat Forums > The Collection (2012) Discussion > 100 things I learnt from The Collection
3 - When planning a mission to rescue a very close friend (one you've known all her life) from a psycho who has murdered hundreds, make sure you assemble a team of worthless noobs and travel light...no need for extra weapons or ammo weighing you down.
4 - When your best friend is trapped in a cage with a collapsing ceiling, it is best to comfort her as her head is being crushed rather than look for any means to stop to the trap (circuit breaker anyone?).
5. when it comes to bums getting shot in the middle of nowhere, police and paramedics have exceptional response time.
6. telling the cops everything you know does not include telling them the location of the serial killer they're looking for
7. When going into a killers dimly lit house, flashlights are only an option.
8. When you exit a burning building, suddenly opening the huge front doors that were previously sealed, doesn't cause a massive influx of oxygen that fuels the fire.
9. Shooter Mcgavin wants his daughter back more than he wants that gold jacket.
10. You can use a dead body as a pully-weight to hoist yourself up and down.
11. The Collector's character seems like a relative of Buffalo Bill, especially w/ all the insects.
12. Arkin's little schematic he wrote down on his arm tells him perfectly how to get to the Collector's lair, even though he was stuffed in a trunk and couldn't see ANY road names.
"Welcome to the party pal!!!"
13. The Collector can cure baldness, as he suddenly has more hair than Arkin in the sequel - He must have shaved when he posed for the cover.
14. Bug Collectors can beat trained bodyguards in a knife fight.
15. If you have the chance to get the upper hand and surprise the killer, by all means attract his attention first by throwing a decapitated dog head his way.
16. The collector likes to light up his headquarters like a christmas tree, and has pretty poor taste in interior design.
17. The collector likes to gun down his own dogs, and miss everyone else.
18. The cold wife who is in deep with the suddenly forgiving loan sharks sure looks a lot different. And where is Arkin's daughter?
19. The collector at least brought flowers for Arkin. How sweet.
20. The FBI doesn't exist in this series, or they just don't care about capturing the most prolific serial killer of our time.
Come on in, and try not to ruin everything by being you.
21. That knife you just dropped? DON'T use it to cut the fuse once you're out of the trap.
share22. When trapped in a fire, kneel down and prepare to die, unless there are 20 aquariums nearby that you could smash open...
23. Abandoned buildings are always good places for local serial killers to set up their lairs.
24. When you escape the Collector, forget to tell everyone heading into the Collectors lair that he loves to set up traps to snare his victims.
25. Your only lead in a mass serial killer hunt can easily be smuggled out of a hospital if you use a cop disguise.
26. Always trust the creepy quiet girl when you find her locked away inside the serial killer lair
27. Telling a woman "nice shoes" is a sure lock for getting laid.
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29. Never go to a back alley secret password bar.
30. However if you do go to said back alley bar, you will only find hottest sluttiest chicks getting it on, non stop.
31. When you first walk into previously mentioned back alley bar, you will immediately put your hand in the air and start dancing, immediately.
31. When you land on spikes that will trigger a trap .. just lay there and tell your buddies to go on without you instead of telling them your plan to use a dog to save yourself.. you know because **** it .. we need suspense..
32. When using said dog to save yourself .. find it's head and bring it with you because you never know when you have to make a cool entrance and throw the dog's head at the collector.. and not using that element of suprise to just stick a knife in his face..
33. When coming up with a brilliant plan to attract cops by shooting bums in the street .. don't tell the guy (who probably has a better aim considering you just had your arm broken) your plan but act shady as hell.
34. When hiring people to help you track down an important person .. always adhere to the stereotypes of a group of stupid people .. always get a 'dick' guy in there.. the 'caring' girl and the 'what the ****!?' 'confused' guy.
35. When giant spikes are coming towards you as your are DJ'ing .. just keep the music playing and be the last in the room to die instead of .. you know running or ducking.. it's not like you have the best view in the house.
36. When just recovering from a mental breakdown captivity with the collector .. just ignore everything you just gained (your freedom / your wife) and go back because you obviously don't have a choice in the matter. All you want is your sweet revenge and trust a guy you never met to help you.
37. When you are an evil collector ... make sure your own lair is booby trapped like a madman because you never know when people might be coming over.
38. When making two collector movies .. as a director .. make sure you give no explanation to what is happening .. make viewers not care about any of the characters and just show blood and gore.. that will make them happy. Seriously these two movies have zero thought in them and make me sad. The idea of a 'collector' and everything around it could've been very interesting .. yet we get this garbage.
39. When starting your collecting business.. make sure your are rich beyond belief. Gain acces to an abandoned facility and not make anyone notice something is happening in there for years .. you know like paying for electricity .. making sure your machines are running up to speed.. have traps just be ready whenever you want.. keep your dogs trained/healthy .. feed your army of'zombies' with food/drinks/drugs .. keep your aquariums clean (seriously they were pretty nice).. keeping your spiders and other pets well fed and clean.
40. When you find your new specimen to have escaped your red box and can only still be in the small room with you.. make sure to release several spiders because they will report back immediatly with results and you know .. not just check the see through jars and table where she is under and your vision was on in the first place.
41. When you get collected at the end of Part 1.. at night in the middle of nowhere and it's raining with no clue where you are.. make sure you just stay calm and use your arm as gps to make sure you know your way back because you know.. might come in handy one day.
42. Fans of 'The Collector' and, to an extent, 'The Collection' are terrible spellers (e.g., ascaped instead of escaped).
shareSo ... instead of adding some exciting lesson you learned from this 'film' (mind you which I am not a fan of by any stretch of the imagination) you are playing a Grammar Nazi and insult us? Based on one misspelled word out of the 592 I wrote and labeling me (and the rest) as 'terrible' spellers. Why don't you just make an amusing observation about the film instead of being a douche?
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45. complimenting a girl'z shoez iz a sure way of getting laid, an not a red flag for being gay >__>
www.youtube.com/bernardpumpkin
them haterz cant tell me nothin
46. When running away from a set of rotating blades, I shouldn't trip and raise my hands to block them.
share47. Dead bodies do not have any bad smell. So thousands of bodies in a house CAN pass unnanounced.
48. Also, you just order LOTS of machinery and they arrive at an abandoned hotel for you to do your deadbody museum/homicidal traps without being bothered or rising suspicion.
49. When your in a seedy run down nightclub and have just had your heart broken by a cheating boyfriend just walk somewhere you don't know your going and open any door but obviously not the exit or a toilet.
share50. When being a watchman outside a building in the night, make sure you have something stuffed in your ears so you can't hear someone opening the door and sneaking upon you.
51. When you jump from the window of a building, make sure you land on something, that way you'll always be fine, regardless the height.
52. When you're a collector, don't collect homeless outside your lair, collect only rich girls with fathers who will send hired guns to hunt you down. Avoid boring collections at all costs.
53. If you want to become a collector, make sure you are a sleepless person, day at work (entomologist), night at lair (collector).
54. When you torture people in your lair and kill them, make sure you hire a janitor to wash the blood and mess, to keep your collection house clean and pretty.
55. If you have fight dogs for hunting people when they escape, make sure you take them for a walk outside at least twice a day (or night).
56. If you like collecting people in your beloved antique trunk, make sure you choose persons who fit in your trunk, not too fat, not too tall. Oh, and don't worry about knocking them unconscious to stuff them in the trunk, humans have a tendency of getting in the fetal position whenever they are pushed against an open box.
57. If you have a knife fight with a fierce serial killer and have the chance of getting behind him, don't aim for the neck nor the head, instead stab him in the back and make sure you miss the heart, lungs or spinal cord. That way he won't die too soon and you'll have the chance to punch him in the face and say to him some sarcastic words to get revenge.
Thats 57! Where are the rest smarass?
share127.
When being jailed, find a window and shoot homeless people for help.
127.
When being jailed, find a window and shoot homeless people for help.
I totally thought his sister was a tool and was doing that to derail him from ever getting a chick.
share58. If your loved one is abducted by a demented serial killer who has killed hundreds, by all means ask them kindly to free your loved one.
share59. Psycho serial killers have love lifes too.
60. The collector likes girls with blonde hair.
61 - As a private detective/hired gun, make sure to equip your crew with kid's sized flashlights.
62 - If you and your friends are backed into a corner and targeted by a crazed killer with a machine gun, all of you will survive.
63 - You dont need an ID to enter clubs filled with hot and willing chicks.
64 - If you are in a cage trying to break out and you dropped the knife outside the cage, putting your hand through as far up as possible and having someone break your arm rather than just trying a little lower and closer to the knife, is the way to go.
65 - When escaping from a box of which a serial killer put you in its a good idea to yell for help at the offchance someone other than the killer will hear you.
66 - SWAT always park their vehicles in the line of fire.
67 - Your brother is your best friend.
68 - A gun of which you have to load each bullet individually is the clear choice for any dangerous mission.
69 - The concept of LD 50 is overrated. If you overdose on cocaine you will just turn into a zombie.
70 - When an intruder enters your house and puts on loud music. Dont worry about revealing your position by turning the music off.
71 - bullet proof vest can save you from a machine gun but it will not work again's a knife
72 - You can be tortured and you can pull your teeth because the next day they are born again
73. After you've shot someone through the head, you can look at their pupils and tell if they were on drugs.
I'm aware that it's just a movie. There's no need to remind me.
74. What do you do with your coat in the club? Just take them off and drop them on the floor while you dance.
75. Apparently, a giant rotating blade/booby traps in a club will not be noticed by anyone...until the club is packed.
People...what a bunch of Bastards.
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81 - Never tell someone you love "You'll always be there for them", because ultimately, you won't.
share82 - If you're tasked with finding the lair of the most notorious serial killer of all time, then by no means should you take the time to alert your boss or the authorities of the location before entering. Because you, your rag tagged group of mercenary misfits, and an escaped victim are the ONLY people who should have a shot at saving the girl you care for and bringing the killer to justice. Seriously, don't take the time to call for backup or have a plan b in case you fail or need back up.
share83 - If you have a broken arm, it will instantaneously heal itself when you need to engage in hand to hand combat with a Collector. After the fight it will return to a semi-injured state.
84 - Psychotic Collectors have a preference for vintage furniture and appliances from the 40s.
85 - Entomologists make enough money and have enough free time to set up and maintain elaborate traps, manipulate Collected humans into a zombie like state and curate their own personal art galleries.
86 - If you are going up against a Collector and you don't have any weapons, you should separate yourself as quickly as possible from anyone who does have a weapon.
87 - If you don't want your Collected humans to escape, you should leave them alone in a room that has easy access to the ventilation ducts.
Wow, not many people here who can think straight huh?
share88. Combine thingies with relatively thin blades are able to slice through hundreds of bodies without bending or breaking
89. Said combine thingies spinning at head level will produce bodies with their heads intact.
90. Extra ammo and things like bulletproof vests and night vission goggles are for pussies, tough rescue teams scorn them.
91. If you don't have a weapon don't bother taking it from a dead person, small knife is more than enough to take on anybody.
92. When at rave you can start making out right away.
93. When faced with a narrow corridor full of bear traps don't bother springing them, just walk around them.
You've never been to a rave before lol.
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