MovieChat Forums > The Lords of Salem (2013) Discussion > Absolutely worse, most boring movie, I'v...

Absolutely worse, most boring movie, I've seen in awhile!!!!!

posted 10 years ago by kd344
28 replies | jump to latest

I patiently waited through half the movie for something to happen, nothing did!!!!!! I basically fast forwarded through the second half, as I couldn't be bothered wasting my time on this stinker. What was Zombie thinking????? He has to stop casting his wife in every movie but she wasn't the reason it sucked, a horrible script and a horror movie, with no horror in it, was the reason.
I liked House of 1000 Corpses and Devils Rejects, which I thought was a very entertaining movie. This movie is just a mess and a total waste of time!!!!
Zombie I know you can do better than this piece of crap!!!!!

[–] ElectricWarlock 10 years ago

Nothing happened? Witches were executed, Satanic rituals were performed, a baby was sacrificed, an addict goes back to drugs thinking she has nowhere else to turn, the Antichrist is given birth to, and you say nothing happens? Wow, the movies you like must be off-the-wall insanity if this is nothing compared to them. I love Sheri and look forward to seeing her in all of his movies. She chooses not to appear in films by other directors so Rob Zombie's films are the only place I get to see her act which is why I always anticipate what role he'll choose her to play each time. I think she gets better in every movie and this is her strongest performance yet. I also think this is Rob's best film yet. While the others are good, I think they have a lot of violence, gore, nudity, and vulgar/obscene language. People thought that was the only kind of horror film he was capable of making but this movie proves those people wrong. It focuses on tension and building a disturbing atmosphere over all the other stuff so because of that it shows how much Rob can do as a director and I think it's a great success.

I've been waiting for you, Ben.

[–] MikePaul854 10 years ago

Fans of RZ hate because it's not an RZ movie. Haters of RZ hate it because it's an RZ movie. Then there are those of us in the middle who truly love and appreciate this welcome change from his usual stab and slash movies. I found it to be one of the most disturbing movies to date. As for nothing happening, guess what? Rosemary's Baby has nothing happening in it outside of Rosemary going hormonal and exhibiting early signs of postpardem depression before delivering her baby and it's considered a horror classic.

[–] ElectricWarlock 10 years ago

Rosemary's Baby has nothing happening in it outside of Rosemary going hormonal and exhibiting early signs of postpardem depression before delivering her baby and it's considered a horror classic.

It really bothers me when people say they hate this movie because it is "too slow" and "nothing happens in it." To me, it shows that audiences today are incapable of appreciating a good buildup. Their attention spans are that short that they can't handle any horror movie that doesn't either have a jump scare in every scene or a gory death. Forget building an atmosphere, a story, and letting us get to know the characters...we need action!

I'm 95% sure this is because of technology. When you can click a few buttons and have the answer to any question you could even think of asking, who has time to wait on anything? Also, you can stream any movie or television show right away with video on demand, download any song to your computer in a matter of seconds with iTunes, even download an entire book on the Kindle. Nobody wants to wait on a suspenseful buildup anymore, they want everything right now.

I've been waiting for you, Ben.

[–] MikePaul854 10 years ago

I don't mind a slow burning movie. The problem I had with Rosemary's Baby was that it built up to what exactly? The whole time we see how scared she is of her neighbors and of her baby. When she looks in the bassinet (which, like in SE7EN, we only imagine what she sees) she screams and then she's rocking it. Um, ok. The tone was suddenly shifted, like in that junk movie The Haunting of Molly Hartley, from horror to oh everything is fine from here on out. Then comes the hated sequel in which author Ira Levin reveals what really happened and the rest is history.

[–] ElectricWarlock 10 years ago

Oh, I didn't mean to refer to you in particular. I just meant people in general who criticize movies like TLOS and Rosemary's Baby just because they aren't action packed in every single scene and have a slower pace compared to other horror films. I personally love both films no matter what other people say.

I've been waiting for you, Ben.

[–] MikePaul854 10 years ago

Actually, the week I watched this one, I added the Criterion Edition of Rosemary's Baby to my collection.

[–] ElectricWarlock 10 years ago

Really? What an interesting coincidence (assuming you didn't plan it out that way). I hear they're planning on doing a TV miniseries remake of it and I honestly don't see the point in that. Although I like it, I feel TLOS is pretty close to a remake of Rosemary's Baby as it is so we really don't need another one.

I've been waiting for you, Ben.

[–] MikePaul854 10 years ago

That's what did it. Having read Ira Levin's novel a few years back, I was able to draw comparisons between the stories. Also the TV remake is set in Paris.

[–] Red_Dust 10 years ago

I wish imdb allowed us to like and favorite comments so I can save yours. So true and you said it better than I could, which I have wanted to say to every person who complains a certain movie of quality is boring.

[–] Geeky Randy 10 years ago

It really bothers me when people say they hate this movie because it is "too slow" and "nothing happens in it." To me, it shows that audiences today are incapable of appreciating a good buildup. Their attention spans are that short that they can't handle any horror movie that doesn't either have a jump scare in every scene or a gory death. Forget building an atmosphere, a story, and letting us get to know the characters...we need action!

This type of movie-goer has been around far longer than "today"; but yes, it really bothers me too.

Votes: 3,110
Website: (http://geeksteronmovies.blogspot.com/)

[–] Soodinum 10 years ago

A RZ movie, not AN

[–] MikePaul854 10 years ago

It's IMDb not English 101.

[–] olivetart 10 years ago

Well I agree with you. This movie was SO incredibly dull. I was actually looking forward to it, but it didn't live up to my expectations... or anyone else in the theater's for that matter. Half of the audience walked out half-way through the movie, and after they left there were only like five people left (me and my friend included). What a waste of $10! HA. His ultimate goal was to end the movie with an acid trip and have everyone die I guess. Pretentious is what it was.

[–] vestdennis 10 years ago

Yes it was silly, dull and convoluted. One of the reviews on this site says they watched it in an empty theatre (and he/she recommended seeing it this way). The fact that the theatre was empty should tell you something...

[–] ItsEddieHaskellBeyotch 10 years ago

"This movie was SO incredibly dull."

Ditto. It also looked alot like a feature length White Zombie music video from the 90s.

'When there's no more room in Hollywood, remakes shall walk the Earth.'

[–] michaeluk26 10 years ago

Agreed. I loved House of 1000 corpses and Devils Rejects. This movie was as dull as I can remember a horror movie ever being.

Haters gonna hate

[–] rc-108 10 years ago

there was some buildup of tension...in spots...

some of the music was good...
the acting was ok...
some of the dialog was too corny.

and the big cartoonish looking imagery at the end was a big letdown.

[–] matt-t-andrews 10 years ago

I found out to be just plain boring. The aging wasn't very good, the story was a poorly executed mess and the effects were embarrassingly bad. The worst part by far is that Rob Zombie being a fellow New Englander had to know that the trials and executions happened in what is present day Danvers. I would have given it some credit if he threw in some historical facts instead of just relying on Salem's reputation for the atmosphere.

[–] ElectricWarlock 10 years ago

Last time I was watching the film, I was thinking that maybe it should've been a period piece taking place in 1692. Besides Mark of the Devil (which took place in Europe), I can't think of too many horror films that center around witchcraft trials themselves without a modern day subplot mixed in. The Crucible is more of a historical drama than a horror movie. I think the trials are begging for someone to make a good horror movie out of them and Rob seems like the right person to do it.

Death lives in the Vault of Horror!

[–] political-terror 9 years ago

You really need to see, (if you haven’t already) Witchfinder General (1968)If you love it then track down Michael Reeves other films, probably the most tragic loss to genre cinema....

[–] ElectricWarlock 9 years ago

I have seen it twice but I haven't gotten to any of his other films yet. I notice they star Boris Karloff, Christopher Lee, and Barbara Steele who are three of my favorites so I'll have to get around to it soon. Sad to see he died so young. Only 25!

[–] political-terror 9 years ago

Get your hands on The She Beast on Dark Sky DVD, they have done a beautiful job transferring this film, it has never looked better. I'm not sure if The Sorcerers is available in the USA, (if that is where you are), if you can play region 2 DVDs then import it from the UK, also just released on blu ray.
Hope you enjoy them.

[–] SpookyT 10 years ago

In the end, the only engaging character was the dog.

[–] 10 years ago

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[–] fiatlux-1 9 years ago

I'm not a fan of Rob Zombie's films, but since I'd heard such mixed reviews of this one I thought I'd give it a shot.

It started out great.
I loved the soundtrack and I simply LOVED the film sets!
That apartment building alone almost made this worth seeing.

The acting was hit-or-miss.

But the script was all over the place! The great actor Bruce Davison was truly wasted here in a thankless role.
Ditto her boyfriend....was he possessed by the witches or was he always a bad guy?

Visually stunning. Truly. But ultimately, pointless.

I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus.
Didn't he discover America?
Penfold, shush.

[–] ElectricWarlock 9 years ago

I think the point of Bruce's role was just to link the events of the past with the present and explain what was going on sort of like an authority figure. He was never supposed to help anything. And I don't think her friend from the radio station was ever possessed or villainous. Not sure where you got that idea. Was it the dream sequence with the doctor that made you think that?