You can call me Danny Thomas's Coffee Table..

"You can call me Danny Thomas's Coffee Table because my name is about to be clear". It's a hilarious line for some reason but what does it mean?
Well here's one explanation:

"The gist of it is that Danny Thomas would sometimes saunter home and announce that he wanted "eggs, sunny side up. After saying this, Danny would go into the living room and lie face up underneath a glass coffee table. Then either his wife/mistress/girlfriend of the moment etc would come into the living room sans bottoms of any kind, squat over the coffe table approximately over Danny's face and go #2."

"the day I tried to live, I learned that I was alive"