Complete smack in the face

Hellraiser could never be called a Citizen Kane, but it was so entertaining. The cast punched in above their weight to sell a plot that made *just* enough sense. Why in the f'n world does Hollywood think that I need a bad version of a good movie?

It's a straight rehash that brings with it awful performances, dumb dialog, and a complete lack of compelling storytelling. Motivations make no sense. The scenes of Nico's resurrection and prostitute murder, story elements that were incredibly tense under Clive Barker's guidance, lose all power when neither the actors nor the effects are anywhere near par.

Everyone involved should be ashamed. This attitude that horror fans are going to zombie walk to theaters and plunk down money to see terrible copies of classic films needs to stop. Quit the remakes and come up with some new ideas.

-Pecs like melons and knees of fringe