MovieChat Forums > Weekend (2011) Discussion > How do gay men put up with this stuff?

How do gay men put up with this stuff?

posted 11 years ago by ycntrl
20 replies | jump to latest

I just watched this film and was beyond moved, it really blew me away. I just thought the realism of russel and glens relationship was stunning, photography was beautiful, and was one of the few lower-budget british films that didnt at some point make me clench my bum cheeks in embarrassment at the cringey acting.

But as a straight girl, the main thing for me was that it really put into perspective how skewed and just pretty much incorrect the usual portrayal of gay men is in film/tv. I honestly dont understand how gay men (and women for that matter, but thats a whole other mess) can stomach the usual picture thats painted of their relationships - now, in the modern world, in western society? Not that I've watched a wide range of gay themed films because, lets face it, they're not exactly playing alongside Marley and Me down at the odeon, but every portrayal of a gay relationship I can think of right now is camp, full of innuendo yet physically sterile. All tight vests and blow job jokes but strictly NO kissing on the mouth.

Weekend was the opposite. In fact I'm struggling to think of a recent film in which even a straight relationship is so honestly and realistically depicted. I absolutely loved it, but doesn't it make you sad when you think about the relatively tiny fraction of people who are ever going to see it? I don't think any of my straight male or female friends would watch it. I think they, like a frighteningly large portion of straight society, have the same knowledge and understanding of a relationship between two men as they do of a relationship between two badgers. And that sh*t scares me (the lack of understanding, not the thought of two badgers in love).

Anyway that's the end of my rant. I just think that if I was a gay man watching most wide release films which includes a gay relationship, I would spend a looot of time banging my head against the tv.

[–] tennisplaya45 11 years ago

I'm a gay man and I bang my head against the wall, TV, anything really, every day when I experience most of the homosexuals around me.

You my friend, are a Goddess among women.

Also, I can't really think of a lot of straight relationship movies either but maybe check out "Dakota Skye". It's a tad pretentious but still really good.

"Looks like she has the right to remain famished" - Veronica Mars

[–] tennisplaya45 11 years ago

Ya know what, you might also want to check out The Outs if you thought this movie was really good.

http://theouts.squarespace.com/

"Looks like she has the right to remain famished" - Veronica Mars

[–] kevinjo67 11 years ago

(Spoilers)

I also found this story incredibly moving. Glen and Russel's last kiss, Glen role playing as Russel's father, and Russel's best friend willing to drop everything and get Glen to the train station--all of these scenes still resonate with me. This movie will stay with me a long time. And I think I've finally beat down my Pavlovian responses to gay sex that were conditioned into me and allowed these men's passions to be in every and each expression of them, beautiful, powerful and wild as they are.

Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.

[–] godzillabird 11 years ago

Well put and thank you very much! I am unable to watch Will and Grace, Modern Family, Partners etc for just this reason. When I'm in a room and friends or family have these shows on, I am actually embarrassed and hoping they really don't believe they're watching an accurate portrayal of Gay culture. Don't get me started on how offensive I found the film Bruno...

[–] SenaShetani 11 years ago

I agree and most of the times it is really annoying especially as a black gay man because so often i feel ignored and when we are portrayed we are the oversexualized black thug or the closeted gangsta.

[–] BeeXxX 10 years ago

So true...

Im a pimp... and pimps don't commit suicide. - Boxer Santaros

[–] meaninglessbark 11 years ago

The common images of queer guys in TV and films, even gay films made by gay directors, are the usual cliches of Ken doll looking party boys and drag queens. What's bugged me about these cliches is that any guy trying to figure himself out who doesn't have a waxed and ripped body or doesn't want to prance around like a woman has had little to identify with. But fortunately there's now YouTube where any guy wondering who's out there like him can see hundreds of queer guys who don't fit the image LOGO TV is constantly selling.

[–] craigbear 11 years ago

First off, bravo -- I don't usually expect to see this level of insight and awareness in an imdb thread. But I digress :-)

You're right, in fact, that a lot of mainstream portrayals of gay or lesbian relationships just aren't terribly realistic. And as a gay man, this film did indeed feel very real to me; both Russell and Glen felt *very* much like real gay men that I might actually know, rather than broad, stereotypical caricatures, and their story felt heartbreakingly genuine.

Of course, part of the difference comes from gay people telling our own stories, rather than waiting for straight people to tell them for us -- we can write them from a place of honesty and familiarity that an outsider might not necessarily have. It's not an accident, for example, that distinctively gay films became much more common in the early 1990s, right when the whole indie film movement made it much easier for a small, unconventional film to get made and find an audience.

And it's also not an accident that while many gay films of that era were happy to fly the queer outsider flag (and damn, do I love many of them for it!), more and more these days you see films like this or "Concussion" or "Milk" or "Brokeback Mountain", which use queer characters to tell a more universal story that's ultimately much more about their humanity than their queerness. Because of course, we're just people -- with exactly the same hopes and dreams and fears and worries and sorrows and joys as everyone else -- and while I thank my lucky stars every day that far more people understand that in 2013 than when I was 16, unfortunately we're still not living in a world where *everybody* gets it.

Long story short, I'm much more thankful for films like this than I am for poorly-written tripe like "Will & Grace" (in which a lot of the time Will's gayness was downplayed or entirely irrelevant to the story) or "Queer as Folk" (which was just a cheesy soap opera that even at its best, still felt as laughably unrealistic as any other cheesy soap opera.)

[–] DRamirez04 11 years ago

I agree that there is a lot of good insight going on around here. I also know what you mean about people understanding more and more these days but there will never be a time when "everybody" gets it because that just can't be. Racism will always exist and sexism... homophobia will be the same but I do think we are getting close to being universally accepted. Sadly I think religion is the only thing standing in the way.

Politics aside, I loved this movie. Watched it for the second time recently and enjoyed it even more. It has some surprisingly good dialogue in it and the acting is so well done. So many long takes. Tom Cullen is one charming son-of-a-bitch in this movie. Charmed my pants off. Lol

[–] BrokenMirrorsbrokenMinds 11 years ago

More kudos from me to the OP. very interesting point of view that I've often agreed with. Even more interesting to hear it from a female perspective.

[–] happygoldensunshine 11 years ago

Kudos to the OP from me too! I totally agree. I too am a straight girl and this very evening recommended 'Weekend' to a gay friend of mine. It is just so honest and candid in its approach of portraying the beginnings of a relationship. Particularly for gay men (obviously), but also for anyone and everyone.

If you enjoyed it, I would alsoadvise 'Before Sunrise' and 'Before Sunset' - both are very similar in terms of meeting someone who could be *more* than just a one-off encounter.