17. Demons are highly melodramatic. If they'd stopped mucking about, waving their arms and speaking in tongues and just got on with the stabbing, the job would have been done and everyone could have gone home and had a nice cup of tea.
18. Demons have wings like that Denis Egel dude from Britain's Got Talent - two bits of bin liner on a shoddy frame that look a bit crap, to be honest.
19. Michael Landes can make a polo neck look really saucy.
20. A scientist somewhere has managed to clone Keira Knightley.
21. You can be at death's door yet remarkably spry and unbelievably creepy - certainly enough to scare your eldest son at every given opportunity.
22. Your father is dying, you are plagued by visions/demons, a mad-man wants to kill you, time is a-ticking towards an apocalyptic event, some strange bird you barely know turns up and hey, suddenly it's a great day to go sight-seeing!
23. You've been shot, you've lost a ton of blood, your first thought isn't to call the paramedics on your mobile phone but to call a strange British girl and give her dodgy directions to the only shop in Barcelona that develops photos.
It's too cerebral! We're trying to make a movie here, not a film!
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Technomage001
11 years ago
24. Always take it for granted that a women you don't really know will follow you where ever you go and run errands for you.
25. Never show fear when an upset person points a gun at you and always chase him.
26. Never call the police yourself but always tell others to and never check to see if they did or not.
27. Never be afraid of demons who suddenly appear before you just keep doing what you were doing.
28. Never ask yourself why your brother doesn't want to leave a house full of demons.
29. If you see a little kid stare at you before something bad happens forget about it.
30. Most people can disappear without a sound if you take your eyes off them for a few seconds.
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icechalkhands
10 years ago
31. It's o.k. to be an alcoholic as long as you realize that most AA groups have forgotten that even Jesus indulged every now and again.
32. Best way to avoid repercussions after being caught reading someones dairy, is to pretend that it's not private but rather a book that you can't decipherer.
33. You don't need a cathedral to worship the lord, just a building that is suppose to represent the lords temple (and size doesn't matter).
34. That if your brother asked you to come to his sermon, you can escape the invite by explaining that you don't do cathedrals or basements chapels and then laughing very crudely about it.
35. When in doubt use constant zooming in camera tactics.
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ehaas-3
10 years ago
34. That if your brother asked you to come to his sermon, you can escape the invite by explaining that you don't do cathedrals or basements chapels and then laughing very crudely about it.
But then he'll send his scary maid who will physically drag you there anyway.
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