MovieChat Forums > Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010) Discussion > What I Learned from This Movie

What I Learned from This Movie

posted 13 years ago by GreenInkBrigade
17 replies | jump to latest

1. The US Navy still uses World War II era battleships and manually-operated 1.1 inch anti-aircraft guns.

2. US Navy battleships can be sunk by mega sharks.

3. Sharks jump over things they're attacking - and whack their targets with their tails - instead of using their powerful jaws (in keeping with this, the next shark movie will be called, "Tails").

4. Diamonds can be mined just inside the mouths of caves ... by a few guys with picks and shovels.

5. Navy ship captains don't stay in the CIC during the battle to direct the fight. They come onto the deck and operate the ship's obsolete guns themselves.

6. Heels and a cocktail dress are appropriate attire for traipsing through the jungle and meeting rebel leaders.

7. Crocosauruses can emerge from holes smaller than their heads, but they can't go back into them to attack the guy hiding in their cave.

8. It's Louis ... and he's not getting 10%.

9. People have learned nothing from King Kong.

[–] agorn 13 years ago

Next week's Mega Exam-asaurus will determine if you really learned anything, Milo. Study hard.

[–] GreenInkBrigade 13 years ago

10. Crocosauruses can get by on very little food - as evidenced by the lack of devastation among the Congolese wildlife in the area of her nest.

11. Miami-Dade PD patrol cars are now sporting LAPD colors and badging.

12. Crocosauruses reproduce by asexual reproduction since there was only one and she was dropping eggs like a cat shedding hair.

13. Sharks can "go nuclear."

14. To cut an even more dashing figure as an adventurer, you should carry an antique revolver and a sawed-off shotgun - instead of modern weapons that might actually help you on one of the most armed continents in the world.

15. The Secret Service has helicopters that can fly from Miami to Hawaii without refueling.

[–] Carycomic 13 years ago

12a. In real-life, certain lizards CAN reproduce asexually! It's called parthenogenesis. And, as I stated earlier, in another thread, how prehistoric marine crocodyloforms (like G. giganteus) reproduced is still little known.

[–] KelVarnsen 13 years ago

16. The helicopters and ships that the US Navy has are so fast that you can travel from Miami to Panama to California and then to Hawaii without ever having to travel at night.

17. People who work at nuclear plants salute their bosses after being given orders.

[–] granimore 12 years ago

18. If you call up a nuclear power plant and claim to be from the military, they will follow your orders no questions asked.

[–] chicago85 12 years ago

19. While fighting under water the Mega Shark and Crockosaurus make roaring sounds like King Kong.

[–] robi1138-1 12 years ago

20. Secret Service Agents wear skimpy attire while on duty.

21. The U.S.S. Lexington can transform from a helicopter carrier to a Nimitz-class carrier.

22. Modern helicopters have horizontally AND vertically oriented rotors that operate simultaneously.

23. A battleship will sink in 6 seconds if bluntly hit by the tail of a giant shark.

24. Nuclear power plant operators sit lazily in front of PCs looking like they're ready to fall asleep.

25. Nuclear plants can generate (and direct) "arc flashes".

26. You're not doing yourself any favors by insisting your girlfriend/wife watch this movie with you.

[–] ChairmanMoe 12 years ago

24. Nuclear power plant operators sit lazily in front of PCs looking like they're ready to fall asleep.

I learned that from THE SIMPSONS.

>CM

[–] robi1138-1 12 years ago

Excellent point, CM.

[–] Angel_Buffy 11 years ago

27. That no one on the milatary team whose sole mission it is to destory the Mega Shark has bothered to read the reports of any of the previous people who had come up against it in the last movie....which is why everyone still insists on Torpedoing it, cheering when it hits, and then acting all surprised when it has no effect.

28. That trapping a Mega Shark in the Panama Canal isn't a much better idea then trapping it in the San Fransico Bay.

[–] mkivtt 11 years ago

29. Mega Shark can somehow end up back in the water after being sent flying onto land.

30. You can traverse the Panama Canal by hopping into one or two locks and then voila, you are on the other side.

31. Submarines have large research rooms and have no problem loading or accommodating giant eggs.

32. The green radar map displayed a navy ships' bridges is identical on each ship regardless of location and time.

33. When a ship is supposed to be moving through water, said water is remarkably calm and non-moving when seen from the deck.

34. Air-to-air missiles can lock onto cliff faces.

35. You have no problem spotting Crocosaurus from above when it's swimming in a dark ocean, yet she's impossible to see when submerged in a local swamp.

36. A 500 foot crocodile easily fits onto a standard semi truck, and said crocodile is easy to load onto a truck even when it's in the middle of the jungle.

37. When a giant crocodile wakes up on the ship deck and slides off the ship to go fight with a giant shark, the safest thing for you to do is to jump into the water.

38. Giant crocodiles have no problem being shot by tanks and missiles, but they hate electricity.

[–] bmalone135 11 years ago

39. Panama is so badass, that when houses are hit with missiles, they're completely fines after the smoke clears

40. Unfortunately, the Panama canal is the Achilles heel of Panama, as when it's destroyed, ALL of Panama is destroyed.

41. A giant shark can surf on top of a giant crocodile in a flood-like situation

42. Wave-physics only apply when it's important to the plot

43. When the offspring of giant crocodiles hatch from their eggs, they will just swim around, posing absolutely no threat whatsoever.

44. Everyone just hates Steve Urkel, so they feel they have to yell at him every chance they get.

45. When secret service agents take off their jackets, the absence of formality makes them more likable people

46. The only way a giant crocodile can eat a person is by closing its mouth, causing that person to magically disappear (I actually have a theory that the Crocosaurus as really the island from Lost, and the people aren't eaten, only teleported to some unknown location

47. When a shark jumps out of the water, it doesn't go out in any type of logical head-first formation, but rather flops out sideways, kind of hitting the ship in the process

48. A giant shark's fin will suddenly be bigger than the shark just was when it's the only thing visible.

49. Sharks really love eggs

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Just because you're too stupid to understand it, doesn't mean it's a plot hole

[–] Glock22 10 years ago

37. When a giant crocodile wakes up on the ship deck and slides off the ship to go fight with a giant shark, the safest thing for you to do is to jump into the water.

lol! That was good!

[–] gruesome 11 years ago

50. Shooting the dorsal fin of a really-big shark with a really-big gun will kill it.

51. If you're in a mine and hear the rumbling of an ensuing cave-in, firing an AK47 straight up will stop it.

52. Submarine Captains think just like mayors of Amity island.

[–] mst66x 10 years ago

I can't believe how bad that was! it's like they were trying to make a bad movie and they succeeded.

http://www.best-scary-movies.net

[–] CaramelSquares 10 years ago

53. Not all Tsunamis are a bad thing.

Terrible things Lawrence. You've done terrible things.

[–] By-TorX-1 9 years ago

54. To be really original, create an Indiana Jones/Crocodile Dundee character who sounds exactly like Ringo Starr.

55. You can always rely on a volcano handily situated a mile or two from the shore to sort your giant monster problem.

56. Submarine bridges have corrugated plastic ceilings.

57. Mega Shark really needs Debbie Gibson.

Best films ever:

Snakes on a Plane
Snakes on a Train
Snakes on a Crane
Snakes on Mark Twain