Let's say you were one of the roasters, what jokes would you make?

About Seth: "Well, Seth, it was very nice of you to take your mouth off of Obama's dick to be here tonight. I'm not saying that Seth McFarlane is an arrogant, left-wing liberal douchebag..... but that's exactly what I'm saying."

About Greg: "I see Greg Giraldo's here tonight. And who cares?"

About Jerry Springer: "This guy spends his time hanging around skeezy sluts and white-bread trailer trash. Or as he calls it, the dais."

About Hulk: "Many people might not know this, but Hulk's an actor, too. You might remember him in....nothing. But seriously Hulk, you were my grandfather's favorite wrestler. He really enjoyed your performances. That and midget wrestling. Kinda tells you were his taste lied. You know, my grandpa's a lot like your career. They both died over 20 years ago."

About Pam: Well, I'd just ask if this did anything for her as I bumped the podium while making beeping noises.


"Why doesn't the world just shrivel up and die?"- Al Bundy