Here's the beignning of MY spoof..

THE RISE AND FALL FO THE AMERICAN VAMPIRE


BETTY DUCK, a spoof of BELLA SWAN, narrating:Hi. I'm Betty Duck. I/m your typical not so happy teenage girl moving with my dad Bing to
Knives, Washington State (whose most famous city is Seattle, home of another Bing, Crosby, and
some of my favorite-read-depressing bands-Hole, Nirvana, you know the rest.

FRANK to BETTY (cloe up): So, you enjoy gping to Knaves, Wash.? I hear that they've got some new blood.
Kind of they have an empire-I mean, VAMPRIE-I mean, empire..

(Betty shivers at the mention of Vampires.)

Ext. House. Chevy Apache track is parke a la Bell's truck. It is their house. They stop.
COUSIN TAYLOR. : Hi,. Betty, I'm your cousin. You notice that 1) I'm very generous-here's
a '53 three sped on steering columb Chevy Apache pcikup just for you
]and 2) that I do not own a shirt.

[The next day, BETTY goes to her first day of KNIVES High School.As you might expect, they torment her.]

CHEERLEADER HGIRL: Hey, Kristen Bell lookalike, go home.

BETTY to CHEERLEADER, correcting: That would be Kristen STEWART[finger in air to scold], not Kristen BELL, myfriend.

CHEERLEADER: Whatever [a la Alicia Silverstone in "Cluelss' She then removes her face to show that she is played by Alicia.Whatever.]

Intt.School. Girl-
GIRL: Hi, [to Betty] I'm Jezebel. I'll be a buddy but onyl so I can be the high school prom queren.

BETTY: Oh, swell, er, goovy, er, rad, er, yeah like WOW.[Notices a new group of students] Who are they, Jezebel?

JEZEBEL: Oh? They? They're the Mullin's. The mull things over, like they fact that they are vampires.

[This leaves Betty Duck shocked]

BETTY::"VAMPRIES, Jezebel?"

JEZEBEL:Yeah, but they're really sultry.

BETTY: hmmm..yeah. Oh, did anybody ever tell you that you look EXACTLY like ANNA KENDRICK? Not almost, but EXACTLY.

JEZEBEL, posing like ANNA KENDRICK: Like, yeah, like I totally get that all the time. [poiting to Robert Dullin: ] Oh, he is a hottie.
abnd that girl there, his sis, is Malice. Well, she can see into the future. They are DEAD serious about their throaty COFFINS here in
the Seattle area.

BETTY: Can't blame you, Jez. But they are hot.

JEZ: But since I'm that much of a STEFANIE MEYER fan, you know, TWILIGHT, I'm so not worthy.