MovieChat Forums > Vampires Suck (2010) Discussion > Worse Than Twilight?

Worse Than Twilight?

posted 12 years ago by scraps992
24 replies | jump to latest

Now, anybody who knows me also knows that I hate everything having to do with Twilight. Still, having said that, I watched this movie not too long ago because my friend said that it's worse than Twilight and he wanted to hear my opinion. And you know what? It actually is.

On a viewpoint of overall entertainment value, Twilight is the clear winner. The Twilight movies are so bad they're hilarious in and of themselves. This movie is the anti-comedy (as are all abortions created by Friedberg and Seltzer). I had to quit watching Vampires Suck a couple of times because it was so bad. The Twilight movies (with the exception of Breaking Dawn) I was able to sit through very easily because they're so hilarious. I've actually seen New Moon twice because as far as unintentionally funny movies go, it's up there with Plan 9 From Outer Space.

But with regards to how well-made each Twilight movie is in comparison to Vampires Suck, you don't have to like Twilight to say that it beats this. Now, I'm not saying that Twilight is a well-made franchise, because it isn't, but these spoof-movies aren't known for their Kubrick-esque quality, you know what I mean?

So are we alone hear - my friend and I? Is there anybody else who would agree that this movie is a bigger waste of time and money than Twilight is?

"You need people like me."

[–] 12 years ago

[deleted]

[–] scraps992 12 years ago

I'm a 20-year-old man who hates Twilight and Stephanie Meyer for mutilating vampire lore by converting them into Dawson's Creek characters instead of blood-sucking undead monsters. Dracula is one of my all-time favorite books because it has everything that vampires are all about. I hate Ann Rice as well because I cannot stand this sub-genre.

After I read your post, I decided to scroll through your previous comments on threads... You seem obsessed with this movie, with Roswell, and with Twilight. It's actually quite creepy if you ask me.

Is Disaster Movie your favorite movie? With all of its flat, uninspired jokes that have the creativity of a comic strip a 5th grader made during math-hour in school. Because in terms of quality, Vampires Suck pretty much up there with Disaster Movie. Vampires Suck is only better because it makes fun of a turgid and overrated franchise that actually deserves to be spoofed. If it isn't your favorite movie, then what the hell is? Because anybody who actually likes this crap is bound to have shockingly bad taste in movies and a disturbingly low overall IQ.

My friend, you are a tasteless and overdramatic moron who's in serious need of an ass-kicking because it's obvious that you think way too highly of yourself. And oh my God! You're in film school?! Well *beep*

Here's a nice little ego booster for you: Just about anybody can get into one of those places if they can afford it. If it's even true (which I highly doubt) it's a practically invisible statement that says nothing about your taste or your knowledge of film. What does say something about your taste is that you actually like a movie by Seltzer in Friedberg. Go ahead and tell your classmates that; see what they say.

You are made of stupid if you ask me.

"You need people like me."

[–] 12 years ago

[deleted]

[–] scraps992 12 years ago

Okay, there's no way you're for real. I seldom see this many people that are this stupid.

And your entire class might comment on this?! Oh no! Anything but that! Please! I'm begging you! They might say I'm an idiot or something! Truly a fate worse than death, that!

There's no way that a group of people will all agree that Vampires Suck is anywhere near a competent film. So, now I know you're just a nitwit looking for some credibility. It's actually quite funny how transparent these posts are.

"You need people like me."

[–] jeetp-26 12 years ago

LOL I hope you're a troll. Because if you're actually being serious, then you are the most pathetic film student ever.

So what if you're a film student? Doesn't mean you automatically know films better than anyone else? Oh you got a 2390 on your SAT? You're on a full scholarship? Oh you must be our future leader then. Haha and your classmates agree with you? I can't imagine anyone who would actually even have a conversation with you without you flipping out about how you're better than everyone. Pathetic.

[–] Heretic_Of_Jeff_Bezos 12 years ago

Is Disaster Movie your favorite movie?

One of them. I love avant-garde artistic war-protest films!

I could literally spend hours analyzing the minutiae Seltzer and Friedberg have put into every single scene.

For instance, in one scene, Will is banding with 3 people, on the brink of death via tornado, and they all start cheering for a hero to show up. As soon as Iron Man shows up to rescue them, he gets squashed by a falling cow, which turns him into a metal can. This is like Mother Earth is saying "Enough with the industrial military complex that gave birth to war machines like Iron Man! Bring about peace and start recycling!" A strong element of Dadaism is antiwar, and this is a blatantly anti-war joke, so it comes as no surprise that the war-mongering, rich Republican film critics hate these films so much.

I notice from your profile that you have a beef with another movie with similar themes, Highlander, which ends with the world becoming peaceful. No more wars. Why do you hate peace so much?

Seltzer and Friedberg are trying to get the message of peace out there, despite how many cretins like you want them to stop making these films and want to use tax dollars to bomb children in villages I can't pronounce.

Clearly you've got some issues. Calling people stupid just because you don't get the complex layers of these films is your problem, not ours.

But, it gets better. You posted confused about the best artistic anti-war film of all time, Dr Strangelove:

So is this a movie that's just for the sake of comedy, or is there something deeper here? ... Maybe I'm just too stupid to get this, but I don't like that assumption for... Obvious reasons.

I am eyesbick-1. Prophet of the IMDb Moderator Gods.

[–] scraps992 12 years ago

Now, that was one funny comment.

P.S. I actually rewatched Highlander. I kind of like it now.

"You need people like me."

[–] 12 years ago

[deleted]

[–] scraps992 12 years ago

That's a case of the pot calling the paper black.

"You need people like me."

[–] scraps992 12 years ago

Yeah, you're fake. Nobody's this stupid.

"You need people like me."

[–] 12 years ago

[deleted]

[–] scraps992 12 years ago

Oh, please do explain more. This is better than television.

"You need people like me."

[–] 12 years ago

[deleted]

[–] scraps992 12 years ago

Oh really? I was getting so excited to hear from your class about how much of an idiot I am for not liking a spoof movie that has a 3.3 on this website has a 4% on Rotten Tomatoes, and was nominated for four Razzie Awards.

But before you go, I'd like to present you with an award I just made up. The award for biggest nitwit on IMDb. Would you care to give a little "Thank you" speech?

"You need people like me."

[–] theycallmebrandon 12 years ago

Jesus.. just a glimpse of your pathetic opinion is enough for me to believe that there is a god and that he created you as a place to store all the world's douche bag personalities.

One can only hope..

[–] 12 years ago

[deleted]

[–] scraps992 12 years ago

Wow, the retard actually kept his word and didn't respond again. It only proves that you think you won this little "debate" - even though it was more like me teasing you because you're stupid enough to fall for it - and if you're dumb enough to actually believe you can make a lasting impression on anybody's opinion, then you're dumber than I thought.

But seriously, I want to get this out there. I legitimately have suspicions that you are indeed a fake and you're just trolling. If you're for real, then you are amazingly stupid. And I don't mean that as an insult. You're dumb. Some people are born with lower IQs than others, and you were unlucky enough to be one of them. You're so stupid, I actually feel bad for making fun of you. But then I'm reminded that you're nothing but a worthless stain on humanity that serves no purpose beyond mere entertainment value, what makes that even worse is that you think you're better than everyone else.

Live in your little fantasy if you want, but I recommend laying off the shrooms, they're probably not doing wonders for your smarts.

"You need people like me."

[–] srath2009 12 years ago

You are right this movie really sucked. I mean Twilight itself is a spoof of vampire and romance. The overrated romance is funny. So why even bother making this movie, except from some parts the jokes used in it were pretty lame.

[–] nightwing60 12 years ago

Come on, anything is better then Twilight. Staring at piece of Sh!t is better then Twilight. Watching a corpse rot is better then Twilight.

[–] jaynemanfieldscar 12 years ago

lol it is "cool" to hate Twilight. you guys are a bunch of sheep, tbh. why hate something just because your friends and society do? think for yourself, form your own opinions, dont follow the crowd.

anyway it is worse but why does that shock you?

Sweet as sugar, hard as ice, hurt me once I'll kill you twice~

[–] clout571 12 years ago

Because twilight is for *beep* *beep*

[–] PRBOO1087 12 years ago

I did not read this entire thread, but I have to say that before any of the movies came out, my younger sister begged me to read the book because she loved. So I read the book, I read them all, and then when the first movie came out I went with her to go see it. All of my opinions are based on my first hand experience.

I'm not here to rip on Twilight, but I do feel like it's God-awful. I know lots of people love it, and lots of people hate it. I personally just don't understand the appeal. Anytime I read their boring exchanges, or a description about how cold Edward's flesh is, I feel repelled.

On that note, I found this movie to be HYSTERICAL. It was well written, the actor's were dead on in their impersonations, the scenes were hilarious. It's true, the original movies are so bad that they are already comical in their own sense, but the fact that it's supposed to be taken seriously also slightly pains me. I feel like there's a freedom in this spoof.

I teehee anytime I see the scene where Becca and Edward share their first kiss. And every time Jacob spritzes his abs. It's funny because it's true!

...you shall give birth to a fully-grown midgit in pirate regalia...

[–] KaZenPhi 11 years ago

I haven't seen it nor do I intend to.
I don't hate the Twilight movies, yes, they are a really embarrassing pop-culture phenomenon that my future mutant-children will tease me mercilessly for, but there's not much to hate about them. They are inept in every conceivable way and it's kind of frustrating to see even intelligent people you know fall for the it, but both the books and the movies are just really, well, lame. Not much in the way of unintentionally funny either. I actually watched the first two films and I can't remember watching them. I can't recall any details. Every fuzzy piece of memory is drowning in a grey mush of vapid expressions and trees, lots of trees. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what's wrong with that franchise (saga my ass)and it doesn't take an 80 minutes movie to explain it. An intelligent parody about Twilight might be watchable and even fun (a funny comedy? That would be something different) but given the track-record of the makers I doubt wasting more than one hour of my time on their genius parodies of the medium film is worth doing. There's paint I could watch dry!

I'm baffled by these "writers"/"directors". Why do I always get the feeling they are actually some kind of failed artificial intelligence experiment that went amok and tries to understand human nature by crudely mimicking their activities?

[–] ohilodude 11 years ago

Indeed. Worse than Twilight.