1. Within seconds of being touched by flame, solid gold bars will melt into a steady flow of liquid, pouring easily 12 feet through the air.
2. Not wearing a cover and shoe over your fake foot will help you in having everyone thinking you're scary.
3. Cutting off some of your fingertips and leaving them (un-burned) with your charred corpse will fool the FBI and help you fake your own death.
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8. Cripples fight better in water without a shirt on.
9. When splitting 10 million dollars between 4 people, each person's cut is...10 million dollars?
10. If you are planning on a murder/suicide with your ex partner and his daughter, forcing your partner to go through a series of useless tasks, including stealing 10 million dollars before killing yourself and them is a sweeter revenge, than say, kidnapping the daughter, meeting at the rendezvous and just killing everyone without running the risk of getting caught.
11. The advancement in technology over eight years is so minimal that spending that long in jail will have no impact on your hacking abilities and you will immediately and quickly be able to navigate the FBI file system to locate whoever you want.
12. However, you wont understand GPS but it also won't be frightening when you see it used in a cab near the end of the film.
13. However at the beginning of the film,, you will have known about GPS because you know to switch out your sim card in the blackberry that didn't exist eight years earlier so that you can put your gps enabled phone on a train so that it gets tracked to the wrong location.
14- If you want to heist a bank in a 3 hour plan, you simply go through the sewage 6 blocks away directly to the safe room.
15- Stealing a bank's saferoom is simpler than ordering a cheese burger at Macdolands.
16- With a simple hands twisting technique you can easily free yourself from police handcuffs.
17 - Nic Cage was still able to get his botox in prison.
18 - There is no way you will hear someone kicking and screaming from inside a locked trunk, even if you are sitting in the back seat or standing right outside of it.
19 - Josh Lucas channeled his inner Jason Voorhees jumping out of Crystal Lake at the end of Friday the 13th for his death scene.
20 - Melted down gold bars that are hardened again look like frozen dog sh!t.
I laughed at #17.
Unfortunately I haven't seen this movie, and probably won't... When I saw this topic, I couldn't help myself. Usually those "100 Things I learned from" are pretty hilarious to read.
Thanks for the laugh. :)
Cheers!
21. Melted gold (1064 °C, 1947 degrees Fahrenheit) do not cause water to become steam, is perfectly safe to stand close to without protective gear - and reaches room temperature in seconds.
22. It is smarter to melt gold though a hole in the floor than to have the bricks fall through the hole.
23. A bag full (50 litres?) of gold is easily handled - even though it weighs 19.3 times water (i.e. almost 1000 kg).
24. Nobody thinks of protecting the floor of a safe with a one meter thick door.
25. Assaulting two FBI agents in an elevator and another two in a car, plus doing a lot of other criminal stuff is OK as long as one can blame the robbery on a dead guy (that the FBI agent doesn't even know is dead).
26. Throwing away 5 kg of stolen gold erases all charges.
27. When trying to avoid the attention of the law, speeding (even though you do not know in what way you should be heading) is the best solution.
28. Beating up a cripple is much harder than taking on FBI agents.
Fun film though.
29. If you are your partner have a little scuffle, you're likely to forget the 10 million dollars you've got stored in a ruck sack, and run to your getaway van without it.
30. Getting shot at point blank range in the stomach and then stabbed in the stomach is not enough to stop you from beating up a muscular psycho, and wrenching a taxi boot open.
31. Nobody ages in 8 years.
32. It makes more sense to go to all the trouble of stealing £10m rather than pretending you have the money, meeting up and shooting the perp in the face.
33. It's the getaway drivers fault, if the two guys stealing the money waste loads of time fighting forcing the driver to leave them behind.
34. Blackberry phones with unconventional keypads are a breeze to dial blind. Pushing the call button is a different story though.
35. Spraying the inside of your trunk with insulation will make it 100% soundproof, however suffocation is not a concern.
36. When 5 FBI vehicles surround you, a happy greeting and a dummy in the passenger seat is enough to distract them from 10 lbs of exposed gold in the bed.
37. A random community bank will hold $100MM worth of gold for 8 years in their vault and a convict will magically know the gold has always been there even though he has been in jail the whole time.
38. A convict, especially one who is notorious for bank heists, will have access to detailed sewage tunnel layouts and construction blue prints of the last bank that he robbed. While in prison, without raising any suspicion.
39. Shooting your friend of 14 years in the leg is better than knocking him out by hitting him over the head.
40. $10MM worth of, or exactly 100,000 $100 bills, will completely burn up, leaving absolutely no trace, in what looks to be less than a minute.
41. FBI agents wouldn't bother trying to dive and retrieve 10lbs of stolen gold right after witnessing the bank robber tossing it into the river.
42. FBI will require a badge to gain access to an elevator, but oddly enough will not have security cameras inside that elevator.
43. Your very dear friend is a bartender in a police bar and are close friends with lots of police officers. Don't bother asking those officers for help in your daughter's kidnapping.
44. Vincent never bothered to even look at the gold. It could have been a bag full of lead for all he knows.
45. So at the beginning, Will and crew knew to throw off the FBI by faking casing a jewelry store. That means they already assumed someone knew who they were and are watching them. With that in mind, freak out when an old janitor sees your face for less than a second, in a dark alley.
46.Will was perfectly willing to give up the job just because their plans were delayed by 5 mins. But when he can clearly hear police sirens closing in, he suddenly wants to go back for the money.
47. Even with THE MOST hi-tech thermal imaging equipment and people power, the Crooks are still able to 'red herring' the Feds and have them stake out the wrong location.
48. If you kick a man off of a bar stool and the stool falls over, the stool will pick itself up and stand on all fours.
49.When a normal, 50 something human being, leaps over roof tops, (getting his leg trapped through one of them), whilst getting shot at by many semi automatic weapons, then falling roughly 30 feet onto debris/rubble, you will still be able to run fairly quickly at "street level" only to be hit by a Taxi cab-but luckily, you will be able to get up,pull out your hand gun, and threaten the driver to then steal his car.
50. And speaking of roof tops, if you run across the roof tops of all the cars that are stuck in the traffic you will eventually find the car you are searching for.
51. At 01:00:15 when our hero is caught (again) by the FB.......AIIIIIIII, THEY DECIDE NOT TO SEAT BELT HIM, JUST CUFF HIM. But that's OK because he can easily snap his thumb and get out of them. Problem is, when the mobile that is perched on the dashboard rings, and you only have "8 rings to answer", the best thing you can do is cause the whole car to crash, bang and wallop into much concrete,slide out of the car without so much as a graze (bearing in mind, you are NOT BELTED), and answer the call (cos the phone probably fell into your un-dislocated hand).
52. When you do not intend to take any passengers along in your cab and don't seem to have any reason whatsoever to drive through the busy town centre, you still do it just because you can and you have mad sound proofing skills.
share17 - Nic Cage was still able to get his botox in prison.
For me, the most important thing to be learned is to avoid Nicolas Cage films. Elephantine nepotism must come to an end.
share55. New Orleans cab drivers don't know how to avoid the parade routes during Mardi Gras.
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57. The cab driver burned and still alive.. he must the robot from the TERMINATOR2
58. Pine cone does not float on the water, it SINKS!
59. Even if you are able to tear a hole into the back seat upholstery, you won't think to make the hole larger so that you can get out of a burning and/or submerged car..
share60. That if you don't want anyone understanding what you are plotting on the phone, just speak Swedish.
share61. Gold that has just been flame blasted at (obviously) over 1064 degrees Celsius, drips into a puddle & immediately becomes cool enough to pick up & stick in a bag.
62. The gold drips through & drops about 8-10 feet into the aforementioned puddle with NO SPLASHING AT ALL, not causing the thieves to get "molten gold splash burns".
63. Twist your thumb to free yourself whenever you are handcuffed.
64. Twist your thumb back and you're free. I promise that your hand won't swell up.
65. Still got an handcuff on the other hand? Don't worry, this one will magically disappear within minutes.
66. Just putted a bag full of gold in the back of your car? Don't bother checking if there is any gold left after your friend leave with the bag. Actually, wait a couple of weeks for your friend to find the gold himself when he's back from the hospital (assuming he went to the hospital after being shot).
67. FBI chiefs always wear stupid hats.
68. After being filmed by all security cameras when you rob a bank (since the tech guy only cut the camera's wires from the jewelry store), freak out when a man see your face in the street.
69. Need a scary villain in your movie? Make him look like a one-leg version of David Guetta.
70. You own a taxi business and need to hire a taxi driver? Think about a driver with one leg and a beat-up face.
71. When you plan to kidnap your ex-partner's daughter, always write her address on a paper and left this paper on your desk. The police will thank you, should they think about visiting the number one suspects when the girl is missing.
72. If a car roll over 8 times in an accident, a phone on the dashboard will appear intact in the hand of the backseat passenger.
73. Nobody in the car will be injured.
74. Even if they don't wear a seatbelt.
75. If you cut your finger and put it next to a corpse, always assume that the police will check the finger's DNA and think that you are dead.
76. If they check the body's DNA and realize that it belongs to someone recently buried, they will... No, let's say that they will check the finger right?
77. After you fooled the police (you little rascal) and they think that you are dead, change your identity. You don't have any money? Don't worry, everybody knows that changing your identity is easy and cheap.
78. Once you changed your ID you may want to take revenge on your ex-partner. If your plan involves you to drive a taxi, get a job as a taxi driver for 2 entire years. You can rob a taxi at any time? Well, you don't want to get bored while waiting for the partner to be released from prison. Working as a cab driver for 2 years makes sense...
79. During fat Tuesday, nobody cares to be violently pushed in the street or to see a guy walking around with a gun. come on, it's fat Tuesday...
80. Cell phones slide around a backseat while a cab drives in a straight line.
81. A hole in a backseat doesn't allow sound to travel through the hole.
87. During a 20 minutes long travel from the city to the abandoned theme park its gonna get dark, tho it was daylight one scene before.
88. After you car-jack a cabbie, drive 75 mph down the crowded streets of New Orleans but have no idea where your going until the cabbie calls dispatch.
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89. If you are looking for a missing taxi driver check the last "distant desolate" places he has visited in the last few weeks and then conveniently have a map in a box of the correct one in front of you at hand.
90. Buying a teddy bear for his daughter when being released from prison is Nicolas Cages thang!
91. The FBI agent who's obsession with a criminal mastermind ruined his marriage and his social life will eventually root for the criminal a bit like John Cusack would!