MovieChat Forums > The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015) Discussion > Things that went wrong in this movie

Things that went wrong in this movie

posted 7 years ago by d.rust
7 replies | jump to latest

OK, OK, OK. There's plenty of other threads just like this one, but I'm just too lazy to read through them.

Problem number ONE: No New York. We didn't need an origin story. Didn't have one in the 60s and we don't need one today.

Problem number TWO: Ilya "Tractor Puller" Kuryakin. WAAY too big. Ilya was a gentle soul, not a hulking Soviet self-propelled demolition-derby machine.

Problem number THREE: where are the cool gadgets? A CO2 laser? That's it? Some chunky bug devices that sound like Radio Shack walkie talkies? COME ON! And no RADIO PEN? "Open channel D", that's like not saying "Warp Factor 2" on STAR TREK!

Problem number FOUR: too much RUSSKIE-speak. Again, part of the UNNECESSARY ORIGIN STORY. Yeah, I know, Putin made me put this point in.

Problem number FIVE: Henry. Sigh. Yeah, love him as Superduperguy, but Solo was a slick number. He was dashing without having 200 pounds of beef on his frame. Who would I substitute? No idea. Gabe Macht?

So, on the other hand... what went right? It felt like the sixties. No smart phones. No flat screens. Diathermy interference. A computer "disk" that reaaaally should have been called a tape. Yeah, it's hard to make an eight inch floppy look sexy, but they made it look like a cartridge full of ¾" tape. If they had called it a "memory core" I would have maybe believed it.

UNCLE in the sixties was CAMP. This had some humour, but it was very strained.

Now, what would I do to make a sequel, or a reboot? I'd lose the two hunks. They're great guys for other stuff, but you can't have spies being all juiced up with muskels on their muskels. (Muscles, yeah, I know). Bring it right up to date. You could even say that these new guys are their offspring. But bring it back to the two guys having fun: Solo taking too much time romancing the ladies while Kuryakin has to do all the smart work. Remember? Then Solo would get rebuffed, while Kuryakin would have to beat them off with a stick?

[–] 7 years ago

[deleted]

[–] d.rust 7 years ago

I appreciate the fact you took the time to put together a thoughtful answer, so allow me to retort. I'll ignore the fool comment.

Of course, McCallum wasn't a ROOSKIE, but he used a "foreign" accent to effect the possibility that he studied "real" english. Not that 'Murican english isn't real, but there is a certain manner of speaking when one learns it in Europe than in North America. But the comparison still stands: McCallum vs Hammer-time? Nope. As for hulking tractor pulling, remember Robert Shaw in the Bond movie? Holey Underwear! Of course, he's about as Roosiean as my sweet old Granny. But seriously, you thought Duckie was pathetic? I didn't think so.

Oh crap, have I been misspelling Illya? I KNEW I should have checked. At least I spelled Koory Achin' the write weigh. (Intentional) And now I don't think I should go back and edit my original post because of it. At least I have a shred of integrity.

As for being critical of my desire to lose the two hunks, I think my reasons were good. They cast Robert Vaughn for his profile and good 'Murican looks. But they didn't put in a guy like Mannix or Magnum or Guy Williams, they put someone in who looks good in a white tux. I see the reasoning behind Robert Vaughn, with his famous "murmur", murmer? murmor? A spy has to be a sneak, and RV was it.

Oh, the "snotty little bag!" That's a good one. Actually, I didn't want to get into her "contribution" to the story. I've got to agree with you that she really didn't do anything for the show. They could have had a RealDoll© in her place with a Speak'N'Spell® doing her dialogue, it would have been far more interesting.

And that Blonde woman, the Countess whatshername. Now there was a cut-out character.

The comment about the little dollies every week, true enough, but they wound up spinning off Stefanie Powers as the GIRL from UNCLE.

[–] MaggieMarlowe 7 years ago

(Maybe you should just watch reruns of the old show -- which sure hasn't aged well at all, by the looks of it.)

Oh, we do.

105 episodes.

1 reunion movie.

1 A-Team reunion.

Hand-holding at the Golden Globes.

Neck-caressing in interviews.

So many good things to enjoy.

[–] a_l_i_e_n 7 years ago

We didn't need an origin story. Didn't have one in the 60s and we don't need one today.

Agreed.

Ilya "Tractor Puller" Kuryakin. WAAY too big. Illya was a gentle soul, not a hulking Soviet self-propelled demolition-derby machine.

They were both Russian spies with the same name and that's about all they had in common. Might as well have made Mr. Spock a manic depressive in the reboot.

Where are the cool gadgets? A CO2 laser? That's it? Some chunky bug devices that sound like Radio Shack walkie talkies? COME ON! And no RADIO PEN? "Open channel D", that's like not saying "Warp Factor 2" on STAR TREK!

Yeah, why make a film based on a successful tv series and not include some of the most popular aspects of that earlier show that made it a hit? If Guy Richie wasn't that impressed by the source material then make a completely different spy movie with different characters. But don't call it "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." and expect nobody to notice everything that's missing. Of course it would cause disappointment and (as evidenced by this board) extreme disagreement among those who paid to see it.

[–] Yonilikka-22 7 years ago

Ritchie's abomination may have been set in the Sixties, but at no time did it actually feel like a period piece. The French OSS 117 spoofs got a far better handle on the decade. There was no thrilling action to speak of. In fact the mini-helicopter attack at the start of 'The Karate Killers' outshines anything in Ritchie's movie. Hammer and Cavill are no Vaughn and McCallum. The villains and gadgets were crap too. The lack of Jerry Goldsmith's rousing title theme ( apart from a brief excerpt ) was inexcusable. I had to watch 'One Spy Too Many' afterwards to remind myself what real 'M.F.U.' is supposed to look like. The one saving grace of the reboot was that Vaughn and McCallum did not sully themselves by doing cameos.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

The TV series didn't really devolve into camp until the later seasons.
It was a more straightforward action-adventure before early on.

And I think Cavill was too buff for the role of Napolean Solo. Robert Vaughan never looked like that.

[–] Otter (24464) 6 years ago

All of those things could have been forgiven, if not for ... #5.

It's not like the old show was some great intellectual fount or anything, it was fun because Robert Vaughn had so much charm that nobody cared if any of it made sense! Hunky Henry tried but he doesn't have charm, at least when he's doing that terrible American accent. This movie needed a charming and funny Solo more than it needed a camera, so I've always wondered why the hell they decided to hire him of all people.