MovieChat Forums > Shark Night 3D (2011) Discussion > Add your 'What I learned from Shark Nigh...

Add your 'What I learned from Shark Night' comments here!

posted 13 years ago by cutterhead
50 replies | jump to latest

This movie is awful, yet it's so bad that it's QUITE good! I'm pretty sure that was the intent of the people involved. It's a lot like a Syfy Channel movie, yet the acting and production values are better than most Syfy movies. On the positive side, it's always fun to see Donal Logue and Joel David Moore. Still, HOW did this get a theatrical release?

With that spirit in mind, please list some of the insane stuff you learned by watching this flick.

I'll start with just a few things:

If someone loses an arm in a giant lake, you can easily find it in brackish water by swimming out from your shoreline/house without a mask or goggles. While locating that lost arm, you can also spot a bloodthirsty shark. When you see that shark, you can out-swim it even though it can overtake a speeding boat and/or someone skiing behind a speeding boat.

Your additional comments, please...

[–] Carycomic 13 years ago

That the only time a great white is faster than even a mako (scientifically establishled as the fastest shark in the world) is _when_ it's chasing a speedboat going full out. And, afterwards, it will roar in triumph like an African lion.

[–] cutterhead 13 years ago

The way the sharks "roared" underwater...ridiculous, yet so awesome?!?!

[–] Bag_of_Cancer 13 years ago

I don't think the great white was the one chasing the boat. I think that was the bull shark.

[–] Carycomic 13 years ago

The same sarcasm applies, FD. In the real world, not even a mako can catch up to (let alone, inexhaustibly keep up with) a speedboat at full speed.

[–] ostermjr 13 years ago

Yeah, the great white was locked up when that happened.

"More Special!!!"

[–] Carycomic 13 years ago

The same sarcasm applies, dude. In the real world, not even a mako can catch up to (let alone, inexhaustibly keep up with) a speedboat at full speed.

[–] Carycomic 13 years ago

I've also learned that "rap" is still three-fourths of crap.

[–] bb8977 13 years ago

I learned that two guys with a small boat can somehow manage to catch a huge Great white in the middle of the ocean and then transport it into a lake with no problems but when its after the good guys the said shark can easily outrun a jet ski and power boat !

[–] ezzy666 13 years ago

I can no longer count on big boobs when watching a shark eat a person. I'm still so sad over that.

[–] papadodgio 13 years ago

I learned that when you lose your whole arm..you can still live for a long time without going to the hospital. You'll also have enough strength several hours later to try and spear a shark.

When you're trapped in a shark cage, even though you can fit your head through the top of the cage, you still can't escape by just swimming out.

[–] mldavidson624 13 years ago

that's what i was thinking, why don't she just swim out i mean you can fit your whole head but that's it..lol.

for a second i thought that the blonde was apart of the whole thing, like some hills have eyes type killing. think about it she makes friends at school and just brings them back to be eaten they said she had many majors...

[–] mikeyflatley 13 years ago

wow, dat wudve been better plot - shark food trafikker

I live, I love, I slay, and I'm content

[–] rwsmith29456 13 years ago

What I learned. That stressful situations are a good time to frame Sara's panting chest and watch her breasts heave in an and out. Also, The black and latino characters will be eaten first.

[–] TitoVicandJoey 13 years ago

I learned when your hot Gf gets eaten by a shark you've lost the most important thing that ever mattered in your life.......more important than your arm that got bit of by the shark.
You can punch a hammer head shark.
I learned i was more concerned when they threw the dog in the water than when any of the characters were being attacked by sharks. I guess i like dogs.

Remember, use the magic twig wisely

[–] FourthYear 13 years ago

Just a few off the top of my head:

- Sharks are faster than speed boats/ jet skis.

- In a HUGE salt-water lake, all sharks will be exactly where you don't want them to be and in a very small radius of each other.

- Severed arms follow their former owners.

- When tied to a chair wearing a bathing suit, you will of course have your Zippo lighter. Even though you were never smoking. And were swimming. And are a doctorate student.

- All sharks are very angry, hungry, and prone to jumping out of the water.

- In a movie with 3D animatronic and CGI sharks, you can still see the guy doing the "sleeve inside the shirt" gag to show a lost limb.

This movie was hilarious. I'll go ahead and say that if you have serious COMPLAINTS about this film, you may have had too high of expectations for a film titled "Shark Night 3D." Just sayin'.

And did anyone else see a rather racial component to Malik, the college athlete on a sports scholarship suddenly wielding a spear?

[–] ostermjr 13 years ago

lol, some good ones. But the lighter thing is questionable. I know a few people that carry lighters and don't smoke.

"More Special!!!"

[–] Bag_of_Cancer 13 years ago

- When tied to a chair wearing a bathing suit, you will of course have your Zippo lighter. Even though you were never smoking. And were swimming. And are a doctorate student.

I carry a Zippo around and don't smoke. I love me some fire.

And did anyone else see a rather racial component to Malik, the college athlete on a sports scholarship suddenly wielding a spear?

Yeah, I laughed at that part. Reminded me of Deadliest Warrior.

[–] r_ichh 13 years ago

Horrible movie, could have been way better. Should have had a lot more gore, kind of like how Piranha 3D worked. Was a really crappy story line but very entertaining.

I thought the kills were really weak in Shark Night. Didn't show much of anything really.

[–] moooovieman 13 years ago

Seriously, I cared way more about the dog than any of the humans.

Also, why would the shark have swallowed the arm? That's stupid... the shark just wanted to hurt Malik, he didn't want to eat him. Sharks are clever like that. So he bit off his arm and spit it back out and swam away.

[–] ostermjr 13 years ago

-It takes 3 shark attacks to kill a brother, but only 1 to kill a white person.
-Brothers are serious about revenge.
-All black star college athletes have nerdy white friends to help them pass their classes.
-Scars create character
-Sharks look a lot more awesome in CGI then real life
-Lake police are awesome metalheads that let you get away with anything as long as you give them the occassional beer.
-Doctorate students are serious halo gamers. And so serious about their halo, that they will stop studying at the second they hear their gaming points are in jeopardy.
-Almost every college dude is ripped out of their mind naturally.
-Hammerhead sharks are terrible human-killers, especially in shallow water.
-Dogs have the stamina to doggy paddle in water for hours.
-People pay top dollar for real shark attack human death footage when shark week is on TV.
-PG-13 is still PG-13, and will never be R(for those of you complainers out there)
-Rapping about sharks is hilarious

I enjoyed the movie for what it was. And this clarifies it pretty much:
"
This movie was hilarious. I'll go ahead and say that if you have serious COMPLAINTS about this film, you may have had too high of expectations for a film titled "Shark Night 3D." Just sayin'. "

Who was honestly expecting a Jaws-type or R rated guts and shark murder scenes in this movie? That's incomprehensible given the rating and storyline.

"More Special!!!"

[–] TwoMushrooms 12 years ago

- If you want a girl to get eaten by a shark, you think it's a good idea to place her inside a protective metal cage, instead of just tying up her hands and throwing her into the water.

- Ironically, a great white shark apparently will have the strength to simply crush through said metal cage with relative ease.

- Even if one of your arms has been bitten off and you're in a critical condition, you'll still be able to hold back a big hammerhead shark underwater with just one arm.

- Nobody cares that over 40 people have never been seen again after venturing to this particular lake.

- You will carry a lighter in the back pocket of your swimming trunks even though you're not a smoker and are simply out to get a dip in the water.

- Sharks are faster than boats and jet-skis.

- If someone loses an arm in a shark accident, it will magically reappear in a completely different place closer to you. Convenient!

- Horny rednecks will force a girl to strip down to her bra and undies, but will never ask her to show boobs. Because that's rude!

- It is difficult to decide whether to be a great academic, gaming nerd or athletic jock.

- Listening to Guns n Roses will make psychotic small town sheriffs like you better.

- Dogs survive infested shark waters better than people.

- Movies like this are great for racial equality, because it doesn't make you care whether the black guy dies first or not, it simply makes you wish that everybody dies.

- It's not at all difficult for three rednecks to safely capture and transport huge man-eating sharks from the oceans into the lake.

- Growling CGI sharks are better actors than certain people.

- Highly explosive stuff will be placed neatly on the pier so accidents can occur.

- Night will turn to day during the few minutes it takes to swim out to a boat close to the shore.

"I want a frisbee made of Mexico."

[–] hellbillyrebel 13 years ago

I learned that I will never see another movie that is directed by David Ellis.

[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] KillerBobb 13 years ago

"I learned that after you escape a dunk tank connected to the lake filled with sharks from an evil sheriff, that the next thing you do is immediately dive into the lake and swim after a boat."

And it takes you enough time to swim & board that boat that night suddenly becomes day.

That college students think it's worth their time to shoot a flare for attention FIVE MINUTES AFTER A FREAKIN' GASOLINE STATION EXPLOSION.

That a Sheriff who has been a family-friend for years will decide to feed you and all your friends to sharks if you leave home.

That bad guys like radioing each other from like, the other side of the room - and will gladly spill their plan over the radio even if they receive no response to their initial call.

That some crazy exes will hack your e-mail, some will spread nasty rumours & some will collect 45 sharks in order to place them around your island home when you come back.

If Shark Week can be listed as inspiration for homicidal madness then anything can. Deal or No Deal: The Movie (9 Boxes Contain the Heads of Your Friends... One Contains a MILLION DOLLARS).

_____________________________________
I am the Devil and I have come to do the Devils work.

[–] SosCoch 13 years ago

I learned that it was possible for one director to make two of the worst films of all time (this piece of **** and Snakes on a Plane)

[–] movieman82us 13 years ago

This movie sucked but David Ellis is still a decent filmmaker. I really liked Cellular and Final Destination 2 and Snakes on a Plane, which, unlike this movie which despite being ridiculous and stupid, seemed to be playing things straight, Snakes on a Plane was played for laughs. It had it's tongue firmly in it's cheek yet still had some effective scares. Oh and it has another thing this movie doesn't have: Samuel L. Jackson.

[–] skinky_1999 13 years ago

another thing this movie doesn't have: Samuel L. Jackson.

After "Deep Blue Sea," he may be reluctant to get his feet wet.

YOU COCKY COCK! YOU'LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY!