Things you've learned from Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

*yawn*

I learned that some producers, directors, and executives can take a can't miss book and concept and make one of the most God awful movies I have ever seen. I'm glad this lost money

9: You can trust that silver bayonets and canon balls will be evenly distributed to the troops and not pocketed.
10: The Black guy lives.

_
Every person that served can be called a veteran, but not every veteran can be called a Marine.

6/ To kill a vampire, you don't need to pierce their hearts with wooden stake. You can only cut their limbs with silver axe and sometimes you can burn them or break their skulls - they die easily anyway.
7/ you can work in a shop, hunt vampires at night, study law and date girls the same time :)
8/ Abraham Lincoln cannot lift women sitting right above his chest
9/ If a vampire tears Lincoln's chest, in a few days there will be no mark or wound left.

10. once becoming a vampire hunter, abraham lincoln was horse-proof. he could be hit with a thrown horse without getting hurt and wounded at all.
11. black man is a natural born vampire hunter. no training necessary

12. Abraham Lincoln was str8.

One more thing !!! A common man like Abraham Lincoln, with an axe, can kill many vampires at a time who are more stronger, faster than him

In the early 1800s, a poor, young law student could move to a medium-sized town in the Midwest and begin killing prominent citizens without arousing any suspicion - even after the discovery of six headless corpses is published in the newspaper.

Stovepipe hats could be used as stepping stools.

Common-looking people are the best in the world.

A gun can be built into the handle of an axe with no worries that it might go off accidentally when the axe is slammed into something.

When you re-write the vampire rules, don't bother using logic or historical precedence; just keep invoking the phrase, "one of God's little tricks," to explain the inconsistencies and logical fallacies of your new rules.

Vampires and vampire hunters in the 17th century American South used Asian martial arts.

The entrance road to Southern plantations ran past the slave quarters - that way visitors could witness firsthand the squalor and poverty in which the plantation's slaves were kept confined.

Horses will run through framed glass windows without slowing down or reacting to the flying shards of glass.

It is possible to gather, melt, and mold the White House silver into bayonets and cannon balls and ship them to the field of battle 80 miles away - all within one day.