MovieChat Forums > The Vow (2012) Discussion > Should have been called 'Car Crash turns...

Should have been called 'Car Crash turns Nice Girl into Bitch'


Seriously... why so mean?

Amnesia is one thing, but why did she have to turn into a C-word?

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Brain injury.

loss of sleep, loss of memory, irritable, stressed out... it's all part of the symptoms of a TBI. And it can take a long time to heal, even after she'd been in the coma for a while.

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I suppose you'd go singing through the hills if you lost your entire life? She lost her entire life. Everything she knew. She was an entirely different person - a person who had a husband she could not remember, who is really pushing the love thing so far that it seems like a ruse, her old fiancee has apparently moved on, she knows she fought with her parents but not why, only to find out they've been lying to her IT'S HARD. She doesn't want to disappoint anyone, so it's hard to show her true feelings, and it's hard to get attached when she knwos she's SUPPOSED to be doing other things.

--
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
--Oscar Wilde

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Exactlu. Im actually glad they when with that route, because its not all bubbly and happy feeling after that kind of trauma. Everything she knew was gone and everything she told she knew was a lie.

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It was a weird choice to make her so unlikable. Tatum's character is so over-the-top caring, patient, and perfect in every way... giving everything of himself to help her recover. But yet she sh#ts all over him at every turn.

Ultimately, you're glad when he signs the divorce papers, so he can move on... she deserves the phony life she's chosen, and he deserves better.

But of course, that's not a Hollwood Happy Ending™ so we get a cop-out at the finale.

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I never ONCE found her unlikable. In any way. I always identified with her. I knew he was pushing it too far, for example, with the music and I felt the freak out before Rachel did it. How can people possibly not understand that this is a difficult situation?

She could have faked everything and pretended to love Channing and just waltzed through life as a phony until she could remember WHY she was that way - but do you think that's what her husband would have wanted? Or her family? They wanted to see her true feelings, to help her rediscover herself. Given a choice between the two, they'll take understandably upset and bitchy truth over phony love.

--
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
--Oscar Wilde

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Are people really breaking this movie down psychologically? It's another recipe-based Hollywood chick flick. Take an identifiable woman, insert some traumatic experience. Insert studly man to come sweep her away despite her bitchiness. Man gets girl, girl doesn't have to solve her own problems, and everyone's happy.

And, any husband will take phony love over bitchy anything.

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"Any husband will take phony love over bitchy anything." Or wife. Not *any*, but probably most. Which is probably why the divorce rate is high. I mean, why stick around when things get "real" when you can just go find some phony love and be "happy", right?

I can't say anything about this movie because I have not seen it. I came to these boards to find out about the movie, and then I stumbled upon this particular comment and felt compelled to comment.

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I mean, why stick around when things get "real" when you can just go find some phony love and be "happy", right?

I don't agree with the previous poster's options, but I also don't agree that getting "real" equates to putting up with bitching. I find many rom-coms have a not-so-subtle message that being a bitch is an effective way to make a relationship work. This is simply wish-fulfillment and pandering to the female audience. In real life, it doesn't work so well...

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And in fact, he didn't totally take it. Remember "I love you but I'm not your punching bag!"?

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And, any husband will take phony love over bitchy anything.

Disagree. Boys do that. Men do not.

--
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
--Oscar Wilde

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Disagree. Boys do that. Men do not.


But "oh-my-God" isn't there a lot of boys out there?

SpiltPersonality

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"And, any husband will take phony love over bitchy anything. "

THIS. Harsh but true, people will take phony love, phony nice, phony friendly over bitchy rude real anytime. ;D
Of course these 2 don't live in a cave so (in real life) non-phony love, non-phony nice is bound to come along sooner rather than later in a loveless marriage and they would go for that. no offense!

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i'd take foney luv AND da biatchin...im dat desperate

I live, I love, I slay, and I'm content

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OP, she didn't become a bitch. Leo become an unsympathetic person with his neediness and impatience.

You have to know this to be true or there is something wrong with you mentally.

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Seriously balboa82? Did you have a recent head injury? You would not do half of what he did if your partner was like that. He was patient, she was not giving her marriage and present life a chance. She was selfish and didn't think how hard it was for the other person also. I hate these movies where they treat like marriage is a game and you can just walk in and out any time.

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What neediness and impatience? He let her go home to her parents even though the doctor felt that was the wrong thing to do. He didn't out her father for being a philandering mongrel. He gave her all the freedom to do as she pleased while she treated him with complete disregard. Even if she couldn't remember him, it was obvious that he was her husband and she had been in love with him. He deserved better than the bitch she became. If it had been me, I would have dumped the bitch a lot sooner than he did.

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[deleted]

But of course, that's not a Hollwood Happy Ending™ so we get a cop-out at the finale.


Thrillho, I just saw this, and how can you say it's a cop out. In fact, if the movie ended opposite, then I would say it is a cop out, because how the movie ended is what happened in real life. It is based on true life events of Kim and Krickitt Carpenter. If people bother to research the story they would see that Hollywood got it right. And they didn't make her so unlikable. She was unlikable, because that is often what happens with a brain injury. I can't believe people can be so judgmental without getting information first before posting. How Rachel McAdams reacted is how the real life person reacted, and it wasn't because she wanted to be mean, but that is how the brain injury made her. Read also the story of Terry Evanshen, the Canadian footballer who had a similar situation. He was even meaner and couldn't help it.

This is my signature and I'm sticking to it. LOL

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I didn't even find her bitchy. She was really apologetic a lot of the time. We just think she's bitchy because she flips out on the ever-so-sweet Tatum a few times. You have to put yourself in her shoes: she didn't wake up being the person she knew herself to be, she woke up as a stranger in a strange place with a strange man. So obviously she recoiled to what she knew to be true to her.

Did we really expect her to just fling herself back into Tatum's arms? No. It took 6 months for her to rediscover the person she became after she had left her family. She had to do it on her own terms; especially since her memory never came back. Once she was ready, she felt it was time to pursue Tatum and rekindle her old friendships because even though she didn't know them, there was obviously a reason why she chose those people as her "family" at the time before the accident.

Let's all be a little more understanding and a little less critical.

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Very reasonable analysis, Shakzee. If I ever find myself in the same situation, I'd probably not handle it with as much grace (relatively speaking) and determination as Paige did. I would surely lose my composure if 'strangers' crowd me and hug me as if everything is normal. I would certainly stick to the things I am familiar with (such as family & older friends). At least she tried to share her stranger-husband's life in the first few days since being released from hospital; I'm not sure I would even have been that brave.

She was everything but a bitch; just a person dealing with issues nobody can grasp unless you're actually in that situation.

Leo's patience wearing thin is also understandable.

(I know this is based on the experience of actual people. All the events portrayed in the movie is still fictional, and the characters were still products of screenwriters - perhaps a bit idealistically so.)

Please click on 'reply' at the post you're responding to. Thanks.

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Well the same could be said about the husband as well.......did he not lose his entire life also....I mean SHE was his life and now she looks at him like a stranger. How the heck do you think that would feel.....not like singing thru the hills that's for sure. In fact it would probably be harder for the person who knows the truth cause they have to watch their loved one look at them like they don't exist and the person with memory loss can't feel the loss of a loved one cause they don't remember them.
And as for me personally.....before I even saw the movie I thought the previews portrayed her as kinda mean and bitchy and I almost didn't wanna watch it for that reason.
But mostly I just feel like her portrayal was a little too nasty cause the husband had every right to be just as nasty and yet he wasn't. And I think anyone in his position would probably be a little desperate and maybe push too hard to make her remember.

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Oh shut up. Channing Tatum's character's biggest crime was being a hipster. Aside from that, he is 100% sweet. He just wanted her back. And she spent the entire movie being a total freaking b!tch to him.

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I adore that you use the word "just" to minimize the pressure he put on the woman he "loved."

And I'm glad that you thought he was 100% sweet. You're more than welcome to find a man like that for yourself. Other women hold men to higher standards.

There are rapists out there who say, "I love her and I just wanted her to have a good time!" Well, it's all okay then.

How silly that I think of BOTH parties, rather than what just ONE party wants. How very silly that I think a relationship is a meeting of two competent individuals.

--
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
--Oscar Wilde

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I get that but it's was hard to swallow when she kissed Jeremy. Before that kiss, she knows she's married to Leo, changed her life, was told by Jeremy that she dumped him and that he had moved on and was in a relationship with someone else for the last year. So why in the hell would she kiss him? Doesn't make sense to me. Loss of memory and relying solely on old emotions doesn't seem like a plausible excuse knowing what she did. Shouldn't all that she found out about herself caused her to act with caution? It seems to me that a reasonable person would, especially knowing that she is married. She didn't know if her memory would return, so imagining that it might, she should not have kissed him. Assuming that it did return, sometime after kissing Jeremy, how would she feel knowing that she did that to Leo? I'm sorry but I just can't see how someone could rationally justify it along with a few other things she did.

Just what was her thought process? Let's see, I lost my memory, I'm married to someone who seems to be a really good guy, this guy Jeremy just told me that I dumped him, he tells me that he's in a relationship with another girl for the last year, but okay I'm going to kiss him anyway. I can see why some might think of her as a "biatch". My own impression is that she's a very stupid, thoughtless and uncaring woman and was too quick to trust all the wrong people.

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The problem I have with almost all Romcoms is that the man is always this unbelievable human being who has to sweep a woman off her feet. Yet in many cases the female lead is just an attractive woman who really has no redeeming qualities. I realize the film is pandering to their audience of primarily woman, so from that perspective who cares about the personality of the woman, it's all about the audience falling for the male lead. Which is a problem with most romantic films today. I firmly believe in Oscar Wilds position that "Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life." In which case, woman watch these romcoms and believe they imitate life. The problem is, these films rarely give the viewer the perspective from both sides. The men in these films go to ridiculous lengths to get the girl, yet the girl never displays any characteristics beyond being attractive that make such an endeavour worth the effort. The equation of a great romantic film today is to add one attractive woman who smiles plus one man who personifies perfection, equals a perfect man who will do anything to get a generic woman.

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The problem is, these films rarely give the viewer the perspective from both sides. The men in these films go to ridiculous lengths to get the girl, yet the girl never displays any characteristics beyond being attractive that make such an endeavour worth the effort. The equation of a great romantic film today is to add one attractive woman who smiles plus one man who personifies perfection, equals a perfect man who will do anything to get a generic woman.



Very well stated and I agree totally.

There is such an imbalance.

From every soap-opera ever written, to the Harlequin romance novels, to the endless rom-coms being pumped out - young, impressionable women are being given the wrong messages regarding what to expect in a real, loving relationship.

I emphasize young and impressionable,
since most women over 30 will watch these movies and say "Ha! Yeah, right!" many times throughout, since their real life experience with men will not reflect these rom-coms - or if they don't respond this way, they are still living in a fantasy world of finding Prince Charming, and not taking much responsibility for their participation in interacting with men in a fair manner.




http://electronicintifada.net/content/six-year-old-loses-eye-bullets-i srael-promised-phase-out/12830

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Amnesia does not turn you into a witch. It does not change your underlying personality. Basically, Paige was a bitch... period.

I get that she went through a traumatic experience and that "for a while" her selfishness and poor attitude were understandable, but this movie is supposed to portray an extended period after the accident and she never changed. She stayed a spoiled rich bitch from start to finish.

Why wasn't this woman put into therapy the minute she woke up. I find the scenario at the hospital strange and not very believable. Perhaps it was supposed to indicate that she got substandard care because she had no insurance at the time. It just seemed odd to me that there wasn't more help offered for her mental disability.

What is kind of scary is that this is based on a true story. There really is a "Paige" out there somewhere. Glad I don't know her.

What is sad, is that if there really is a man like Leo out there, he is one of those guys who, despite the great "I'm not your punching bag" line in the movie, is exactly that. He probably loved this woman desperately and puts up with whatever she dishes out. Poor guy.


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"...she got substandard care..."


And how about how Leo had to beg and provide "proof", thin as it was, that they were married? Everyone just ignored that fact, and treated him like he was a total stranger with no rights or say in the matter. Just bizarre.

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This movie is nothing like the real story, only that she lost her memory of him and was in a car accident. It's one of those they hyped up. I sure didn't think she was trying at all to get back into her life at all. the second she saw her parents she gave up and let them take over which is what seems to have happened her whole life.

But in the end she made the same decisions all over again so there had to be a nice caring person in there somewhere



**I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly**

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Yeah, Kris and Krickett Carpenter are their real names.

I'd have been embarrassed to put this story into a movie so the whole world could see what a selfish bitch I am. I'm not saying it wasn't hard for her. I get that. She lost several years of her life, didn't know her husband, thought her ex fiance was her present fiance and had no idea of the family argument that drove her from home. She was trying to figure out her life. That's difficult. I understand. But her husband tried so hard tot help her with her memories. No one in the story ever thinks about him ... what he lost, what he's going thru. He lost his life that night too. He lost his wife and love of his life. He lost his only family. They apparently had a great love and no one gave a crap about the guy. A selfish, possessive family only cared about getting back the daughter they lost and once again tried to push her to have the life that THEY wanted her to have. I felt MUCH more for the husband than her. So basically, I left the movie not liking it at all. I didn't like Paige (Krickett). It just frustrated me too much.

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She didn't just have amnesia. She had traumatic brain injury, and it does and will change your underlying personality more often than not. Amnesia is a secondary result of that brain injury.

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Hey pencritical,

I read your review to this movie and felt compelled to respond! I had the same reaction as you - that the Paige character was so selfish and unlikable and didn't even try at all to figure things out with Leo. But I was also curious about the real story, since at the end it said they did get remarried and had two children. So I read the entire thing by Kim and Krickett Carpenter (the real couple) and it is actually entirely different. They never got a divorce. The woman realized she was married even if she didn't remember it - and her entire family and his supported them all and tried to help them figure it out. So even though they had rough patches, she worked just as hard as he did to figure it out. And they DID work it out, she chose to love him until her feelings for him resurfaced, they stayed married and ending up having two kids, and now they travel around the US and lead conferences on marriage and commitment amidst trials and hardship.

The true story is so amazing, I couldn't believe they were OK with the decisions the movie-makers made. They completely changed her character and her family, and made it all about her "finding herself" again rather than about both of their commitment to work it out.

Anyway all of this to say I felt the same way about it as you did - but you should read the book! It is completely different. It is available to read for free online. "The Vow" by Kim and Krickett Carpenter. They also have some videos online.

The true story is really amazing and really inspiring!

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To everyone ehre who's complaining about McAdams being so difficult to deal with after her accident, you need to realize something:

Head injuries that result in brain damage CAN alter someone's personality. Such injuries NEVER fully recover, and some damage is never healed. And if the brain areas that deal with behavior and personality were compromised, then that person will NEVER be the same, even if the memory IS intact.

So it's not that much of a strech to see an apparently sweet and easygoing person turn into a difficult immature thin skinned b!tch.

I mean, take into consideration:
1- About good 5 years of her life were erased, meaning:
a) She's lost whatever skills she learned, so good bye current job.
b) Recent friends and mates now are strangers, so good bye recent relationships.
c) Like coming out of jail, everyone has moved on but you.
2.- She's not and will never fully recover, so there' some disability to stay with her.
3.- It seems her personality was compromised due to the brain damage. So forget about who she WAS, that person is forever gone.

Wouldn't you be also upset and resentful in her shoes? Being forced to relate to perfect strangers whom you LIKED yet are not sure you like NOW anymore, and trying to pierce together what's left of your life?

I'm surprised she wasn't even harder to deal with.

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If you really liked someone, and he or she has done nothing wrong to you. You will like that person after your head injury, because you match together. I would rather die in the accident than to have my personality changed and turn out like an *beep* who rejects the love of my current partner (who I truely believe she is "the one").

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Thank you! My aunt almost died with brain injury and she hasn't been playing with a full deck ever since.

The film should have done a bit more to explain that, so we felt more sympathy for the wife. If it was JUST memory, to her it was like she traveled to the future or something, then her behavior is a lot worse and can only be explained by, "well, before she moved to the city and cut off contact with her family, she was an immature and selfish person without empathy for others."

Because the way she treated her husband was pretty awful. She was so distrusting and didn't even want to try! That's the part that gets me. She wasn't really trying to remember, trying to learn her new life. It was all "me me me."

But if the film made it clear that she was, in fact, irrevocably changed by her accident, and he HAS to be patient with her because she can't help but be different, it's a little more palatable.

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Everyone's saying she was a bitch because she'd forgotten her old life and was stressed out and all the rest of it but what about the fact that with the memory loss she was basically herself some odd five years ago, before she had changed as a person.

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Haha,awesome post, so true. She was just a totally different girl . As soon as she yelled at me once , I woulda been like ..see ya

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[deleted]

You need to mark that second sentence as a SPOILER...Someone coming here while (or before) watching this movie shouldn't find out that particular part of the film until they get to it...

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This thread is already a spoiler and honestly if somebody has not seen the movie they should not be on this board,i don't come on to boards of movies and shows i have not seen yet

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Lotsa people do, and that doesn't stop them from posting opinions about the movie as if they had see it. Apparently, you don't actually have had to seen the movie nowadays, it's sufficient to have heard about it.

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I agree with you but there are people that bitch about putting spoilers

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