MovieChat Forums > Dârin wa gaikokujin (2010) Discussion > Depressing stereotyping

Depressing stereotyping

posted 13 years ago by Russell62
5 replies | jump to latest

I regret very much that they made this movie. Not because I am somehow anti-romantic films, but because of the stereotypes this will only serve to reinforce. I've lived over twenty years in Japan, and during that time I have seen many "international couples". The fantasy world this movie depicts is far from reality more often than not.

The false image that the foreign male in Japan is somehow a sensitive, gentle herbivorous creature that will be a doting husband and father is one that simply is not true in too many cases. More than a few of the western men living in Japan are borderline alcoholics, have various mental issues, and are virtually incapable of having normal relationships. They remain in Japan solely for the money, because they know they would be working minimum wage jobs back home if they left, or because they are married to a Japanese woman. I know this because I have met many of them, and know how wretched some of their lives are.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of happy international couples, but there are a lot who are anything but living in the happy fantasy world of this movie.

[–] Jia-Di 13 years ago

True, but this is supposedly based on the author of the manga, based on her experiences with her husband.

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[–] Russell62 13 years ago

That's right. Perhaps "loosely based" might be more accurate. I've read more than once that the real "darling" is nowhere near as nice as he is portrayed in the movie. Let's face it, this was made to cash in. My point was that while there is nothing wrong with fantasy, I worry that too many Japanese women will get the completely wrong impression that they can easily find this kind of happiness and that a man such as the lead in this movie is commonplace. I know a lot of international couples who broke up after months or years of real conflict and difficulties based on the unrealistic expectations on both sides, especially how the women excpected the men to go on being as charming as they initially came across. Japanese men are sometimes seen to be cold and undemonstrative in relationships or are "Mummy's boys." One woman I knew said once they returned to the USA, her husband became lazy and resented her wanting to have a career outside of the home, so she promptly left him. Others have talked about how their foreign husbands were just as abusive or controlling as some Japanese men can be.

[–] 13 years ago

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[–] Russell62 13 years ago

I hope you're right, especially about the Japanese women not being taken in by this kind of rubbish.

Actually, I don't hang around that many expats recently, as many of the ones I knew have pulled up stakes and gone back home. My circle of foreign friends is quite limited. I stand by what I say about many of the expat men in Japan. Some of them also got involved with or married to Japanese women and ended up dissappointed that those women weren't the passive drones they had expected. (Unrealistic stereotyping working both ways)

I agree that making a movie along the lines you suggest would have been more interesting.

I hope they don't make a sequal (groan!)

[–] chees11 13 years ago

I'm sorry, but you sound more than a little biased yourself here. The fact that foreign men often come to Japan to attempt to easily use Japanese women was even shown in the film, with one of the other foreigner characters. And Tony wasn't shown to be perfect, either.
This film had flaws, but lets face it: the Japanese media has always been more than terrible at representing non-Japanese people in film, manga, and television. The examples of non-Japanese characters being used in mainstream Japanese entertainment as anything other than comedic relief or ridiculous stereotypes are incredibly scant, because like it or not Japan is very xenophobic country where the closest most people get to foreigners is occasionally staring at one on a train. What you see here as a film that might possibly be misleading Japanese women, I see instead as one of the few Japanese films in which a foreigner character was actually treated with respect. Yes, many westerners in Japan are creepers, but many aren't, and in a country like Japan a movie like Darling wa Gaikoujin can do so much more good than bad.
Is it a somewhat contrived romcom? Yes. Is it a morally or socially reprehensible film? In no way.