Feeling heartbroken

Tonight was an emotional night for me. I watched “Wrestlemania XXVI” only to see who would win the “career versus streak” match between Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker. It breaks my heart, no pun intended, to say it wasn’t Shawn.

The match was incredible, and Shawn really pulled out all the stops, as he always does, but it saddens me to think we won’t be seeing him on TV anymore. For me, I won’t have any reason to watch “Raw” without him on the program.

I know professional wrestling isn’t real, at least in the sense that the winners are predetermined, but I was hoping that somehow Shawn would overcome the odds and defeat the Undertaker, effectively ending his Wrestlemania winning streak. I thought, surely they wouldn’t end a man’s career before they’d end a streak. I guess I was wrong. I mean, I know “the streak” is an important part of the Undertaker’s gimmick, but it’s not the same as stipulating a person’s retirement from the sport. I just don’t think that’s a fair exchange.

If Shawn wanted to retire, I understand. I mean, we’ve all heard stories about how the wrestlers are on the road some three hundred days a year, and that’s got to be hard to be away from your family that much. If he wants to be with them, I totally understand, and admire him for that. I just wish he wouldn’t have to be gone from the WWE for good. Why couldn’t they have just had him take time off indefinitely and claimed it was for some other reason? I guess they could even tell the truth for that matter, would anyone really care? I wouldn’t fault the guy for wanting to spend time with his wife and kids, I can guarantee that.

With Michaels, this doesn’t seem like just a gimmick to me. I don’t think he would’ve put his career on the line, unless he was truly prepared to walk away from the sport for good. Maybe he’ll guest host “Raw” at some point in the future, but if he does, it won’t be for a long time from now, and it won’t be as satisfying as seeing this truly legendary performer in the ring again.

I just feel like a part of my childhood is gone now. I first became interested in pro wrestling around the age of twelve, same as Shawn Michaels. For a while, I even had the same dream to become a professional wrestler, but unlike Shawn, I realized it was only a dream for me. I became interested in the sport in the late 1990s, around the same time the industry experienced its largest surge in popularity, arguably ever. In my opinion, I think it was bigger in the latter half of the twentieth century than it was even during the “Hulkamania” era.

I grew up playing “WWF: War Zone” on the original PlayStation, and always enjoyed playing Shawn as a character on the game, but didn’t get to see him on TV much. I saw him as “the Commissioner”, but never really in a wrestling capacity, but liked him immensely, and watched videos of his past matches I’d rent from the video store, all the time. Eventually though, he started appearing on WWF television more and more infrequently, and eventually stopped appearing at all. I waited week after week, month after month, and eventually year after year for him to return. I didn’t realize how bad he’d been injured as a result from a previous match he had with the Undertaker, as the WWE never does a very good job of keeping the fans “in the know” on how wrestlers who aren’t on TV are doing. I hoped he’d come back, but it just wasn’t happening, and eventually I lost hope. I quit watching wrestling, and about a year or so after I gave up, he came back.

When I learned he was back, I was thrilled, but watching wrestling, much like watching anything else is a habit. Once you’re out of it, it’s hard to get back into it. I used to watch it religiously, never missing an episode (primarily watching to see if Shawn would come back), but now I’d been broken of that habit. I’d watch Shawn whenever I’d see him on TV, if I saw him on there, you can bet your ass I’d watch it. I just didn’t tune-in every week, as I had before. However, just knowing he was back made me happy.

In the past few months, I’ve been watching regularly again, and then this happens. I just don’t know what to think, or even why I’m bothering to post these thoughts here, but I thought someone else might be able to relate. I miss being a kid and wrestling with my friends on my old trampoline in the backyard, and renting wrestling videos and watching them all night, and I know I’m going to miss HBK.