MovieChat Forums > Take This Waltz (2012) Discussion > Why all the hate for Margot?

Why all the hate for Margot?

posted 10 years ago by fool-soul
20 replies | jump to latest

I think that what many of these insightful deconstructions of the movie are missing is mention of the not uncommon adage that an insecure & sensitive person (like Margot) can wind up with an evasive selfish partner.

You can see straight off the bat at the flogging reenactment that she is too timid of a person to say no and stand by it (tendency to give in to pressure, be it direct or indirect) and how she legitimately tried to work things out with Lou in her own way (the only way she could see). I find his selfishness made clearer in his monologue where his focus is almost solely on himself (which is understandable in his shock of not preempting the result of his lack of intimacy) and in the end where he harbors an attitude that she *beep* up - not him. Relationships are two way streets and I think it would be safe to say that he did not reciprocate the level of intimacy she gave and required. I doubt there's need to mention Daniel's clues to selfish inclination what with his never ending attempt to sway her (causing so much grief for her - evidence that her well being is not his priority) and even blatantly self-interested remarks like "My birthstone is a 17 inch Macbook" (joke, yeah, but still evident of self-interested thought).

Maybe I'm just missing the whole commentary on how individuals in relationships are still individuals with their own sets of needs that may not be fulfilled by their partner and should rather try feeling complete in themselves? Goes hand-in-hand with insecurity - not feeling complete in oneself. I should mention that I tend to be an idealist with unrealistic expectations that someone could love somebody as much as themselves - but I'm ok with pushing the envelope because there would be no societal progress without. So I'm now thinking the the relationship demises must all boil-down to insecurity and inability to communicate what one desires (though, even then there can always be lack of reciprocity and a need to move on). I just don't understand where all this hate (not merely just lack of empathy) for Margot stems from, because it seems more like she is a victim of theme.

[–] Bag_of 10 years ago

The hate probably stems from the cheating. Its all well and good to say shes insecure and sensitive but she knew the consequences of her actions, as she voiced them out loud and then still acted on them anyway.

The individual characters vs relationship roles is interesting. As someone who believes its possible to throw everything into a marriage and still keep your individuality, I didnt find the break up as devestating as some would. I thought there was enough ambiguity to take the interpretation that Lou had his cooking and book and his family and with his immediate forgivness and compassion, he would get over her fairly quickly, realise he took a bullet earlier than he potentially could have and die with no regrets about the situation. Margot on the other hand would learn a much harsher lesson, with much more regret but on balance, deserved it.

If you didnt take that interpretation its fine because it was ambiguous, but my overall opinion is that romanticing infidelity and then covering it up with smoke and mirrors complexity and ambiguity in order to persuade viewers to defend a cheat, is a moral sell out by the writer.

[–] Rpdsf 10 years ago

Amen. Well put!

[–] robitussin217 10 years ago

"If you didnt take that interpretation its fine because it was ambiguous, but my overall opinion is that romanticing infidelity and then covering it up with smoke and mirrors complexity and ambiguity in order to persuade viewers to defend a cheat, is a moral sell out by the writer."

Do you think this movie does what you describe? I think it's a pretty honest exploration of what happens to people sometimes. I'm not addressing the original poster. I'm just curious to know if and why you think this movie does what you describe.

[–] Bag_of 10 years ago

I was a bit confused about the point of the movie immediately after the end but yeah, this was the interpretation i settled on that allowed me to make sense of it and dismiss it.

I would agree that Polley was going for realism but realism isnt enough - there should still be a point to a story otherwise the storyteller is just wasting everyones time showing mundane human life. It would maybe help to know which bit you disagree with; did you think it was about infedility; did you think it was romanticised; do you think thats a moral sell out?

Polley seemed reluctant to leave the message that you shouldnt cheat and reluctant to explore the effects on Lou but she dwelled on the flirting and emphasised that Margot had 'issues' so i took the view that it was a writing challenge rather than a story. Can i write a girl who unquestionably cheats but viewers will still defend?

[–] lorne_a_20014 8 years ago

You cheat in your mind long before you jump into bed with someone.

To all the feminists who think cheating is some kind of emancipation from male oppression, I have a simple message. If you want to keep sleeping around, fine, but don't get married.

[–] GuyOnTheLeft 10 years ago

People are misogynistic and puritanical.

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[–] DCI77 7 years ago

I don't believe you're using misogynistic and puritanical correctly, at least not in this case.

[–] GuyOnTheLeft 7 years ago

Misogyny because they are unfairly unleashing their fury on a young woman. Puritanical because they are slut-shaming her. How are those not correct usages?

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[–] gonnabeabumpyride 10 years ago

If you didnt take that interpretation its fine because it was ambiguous, but my overall opinion is that romanticing infidelity and then covering it up with smoke and mirrors complexity and ambiguity in order to persuade viewers to defend a cheat, is a moral sell out by the writer.

Without doubt the best one-paragraph synopsis of this movie that I have seen. Well done.

Last Movie Watched: Draft Day (2014)

[–] beary08-517-817915 10 years ago

I agree. Great synopsis.

Margot is not the victim here. She's an immature idiot in my opinion.

From what I remember reading about Polley, this movie may be based (maybe loosely, maybe not so loosely) on her own life. Margot character does remind me of Polley.

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[–] Dcamplisson 9 years ago

It's not "hate" it's honest feedback. She is selfish and a sneaky slut who indulges her whims at the cost of her marriage. The film is unrealistic ( rich shaw boy has a fancy pad that he coud not pay for by tips) but she swans off with that irresponsible loser and jerks er husband around because she Is bit bored. I winder is e bored with her.. I don't see him running after tarts.

[–] z_thomas 9 years ago

So much wrong with your post. From calling her a slut and him a loser (how is he a loser?) to claiming the film is unrealistic because of the real estate (it's a pretty common aspect of films that the people in them have homes fancier than what it appears they could afford). There are bargains in real estate wherever you live in the world so it's never that big a stretch anyway. Or they could be like my friend who lives in their parents investment apartment with minimal rent...

She's a flawed character capable of doing bad things. Apparently all the people on IMDb attacking her are angels that have never hurt a fly.

Btw I have never cheated on anyone in the 10 or so relationships I've had but I've hurt people all the same. Sometimes by being too afraid to hurt people and dragging relationships out too long you do more damage. Personally I can't imagine cheating on someone. I figure if you get to that point then leave your husband/partner before you do anything. But i understand that in general people do the best they can.

[–] Zielke9 9 years ago

if the roles were switched and it was the guy who did everything she did then your opinion would surely be the opposite. he would be called a misogynist and ungrateful for everything she does for him. people would say he should have ended it rather then cheat and they would say he should grow up and stop acting like such a teenager. but it's a woman so she's just confused about who she is and what she wants.
i think a lot of women should rethink some of the comments they've made about men and think if it was a women would they say the same thing. i don't condone pig-like behavior from men and i don't condone it from women either. if one wants to end misogyny then one should fight to end it not equalize it.

[–] pacinofan58 9 years ago

I hated her character because her husband didn't do anything to deserve to be cheated on!
He didn't do anything to deserve her wanting the marriage to end.
She's a selfish a-hole and thats why people are hating on her!
They hate her for all the reason Sarah Silverman's character mentioned when she was telling her off.

[–] trimersam 9 years ago

She didn't cheat on her husband.

Just because someone doesn't deserved to be left doesn't mean you have to stay with them. That's no reason to stay with anyone.

[–] Sam-953-169285 9 years ago

Yes, some of Daniel's behavior seemed selfish. Some of it was honesty and eagerness; he wanted to know where things could and would go. Note however that at the most critical moment, he chose to avoid taking when he was offered a big opportunity. He serves credit for that. He also was both patient and impatient. I think that the patience and impatience was the writer's way of making him romantic. It is not how I would have done it or wrote it but it seems to be the writer's way.